I don’t really miss my life before kids

[Anonymous]

There are some things I miss of course (sleeping in, quiet mornings with long coffees). But on the whole, I don’t miss my life before kids at all and can’t relate when people talk about how much they miss their 20s, the freedom to travel, the parties and the fun. I did that, and found all that quite meaningless.

Life with kids feels richer, fuller and more meaningful than anything before. There is day to day drudgery but I feel bursts of joy at little things my children in a way I never used to feel. I don’t see this sentiment shared very often. Anyone relate? Or was I just a boring person before kids?

[Anonymous]

I can relate. The only thing I miss is the lack of anxiety. Now, and forever, my happiness/mental health is tied to how they are doing. But no, I don’t miss life before them.

[Anonymous]

I don’t miss life before kids either. I’m actually dreading being an empty nester!

[Anonymous]

I do miss things like travel (although we’re trying to get back into it with kids). So I won’t totally agree. But I don’t miss it in an “I would change it” kind of way. On the contrary, we have three and are done but I think if we were any younger we’d probably go for a fourth.

Lovely things on both sides of kids or no kids, but I’m all in for where we are now.

[Anonymous]

I miss sleep and not feeling like I need to be "on" 24/7 between work and kids.
I'm still very much knee-deep in the "little kids" phase here (DDs are 7 and 3), so I'm tired and burned out but starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel as 3yo DD grows...but I wasn't much of a partner and didn't do extensive travel prior to having kids (I'm an introvert), so I don't miss that.

[Anonymous]

How old are your kids?

I miss the travel. I skied out west a lot, had a ski house with friends, weekends in Nantucket, Europe, etc. what used to be $1,000 now starts at $3,000. We still travel to all those places but on a much more limited basis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are your kids?

I miss the travel. I skied out west a lot, had a ski house with friends, weekends in Nantucket, Europe, etc. what used to be $1,000 now starts at $3,000. We still travel to all those places but on a much more limited basis.

Meh. We did this too - we will do it again when the kids go to college. NBD.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you don’t regret having kids hut you so miss some things about pre kid life, which is probably true for most people

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are your kids?

I miss the travel. I skied out west a lot, had a ski house with friends, weekends in Nantucket, Europe, etc. what used to be $1,000 now starts at $3,000. We still travel to all those places but on a much more limited basis.

Meh. We did this too - we will do it again when the kids go to college. NBD.

Exactly. I had fun and felt fulfilled when I had my first kid at 31 - definitely did not need another decade of trips. I’ll be 53/54 when my third goes to college and we’ll be able to have tons of freedom. We have some now with young kids but our life revolves around them. As they get older we’ll travel more but with more of a them focus and do some smaller trips with more of an us focus. It’s a season. I agree about feeling anxiety about how they are doing and that being different and hard, but it’s forcing me to grow too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can relate. The only thing I miss is the lack of anxiety. Now, and forever, my happiness/mental health is tied to how they are doing. But no, I don’t miss life before them.

+1000!

I could have never imagined how much my happiness is tied to theirs. It's a good thing now because they are amazing, but it's going to be something else when they go through challenges ( which would eventually happen).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are some things I miss of course (sleeping in, quiet mornings with long coffees). But on the whole, I don’t miss my life before kids at all and can’t relate when people talk about how much they miss their 20s, the freedom to travel, the parties and the fun. I did that, and found all that quite meaningless.

Life with kids feels richer, fuller and more meaningful than anything before. There is day to day drudgery but I feel bursts of joy at little things my children in a way I never used to feel. I don’t see this sentiment shared very often. Anyone relate? Or was I just a boring person before kids?

I can relate.

And I am and was a boring person. Lol

So yes, there is not really much for me to miss.

[Anonymous]

At 16, I knew I wanted children. I'm glad I had them in my 20s because then I was hit with secondary infertility.

So I certainly do not miss life before kids! I'm driving my oldest back to his college today. I'll miss him when he's gone. He's going to miss the dog, and the dog will miss him (but he has another kid left at home to play with, so not the end of the world).

[Anonymous]

The only time I regretted having kids was during the first year of the pandemic—school at home, no socializing. My DINK neighbors seemed to be having the most amazing time and I was a mess.

But other than that; no regrets! Love having kids (even now when they are teens—they are lovely) and I am not looking forward to being an empty nester.

[Anonymous]

I love my kids and get so much joy from watching them grow, but I also miss my life before kids from time to time.

What I miss the most was the freedom to be creative. I have not picked up my paint brush in years. I also used to take dance classes and explore different hobbies. Now everything is very tightly choreographed and their activities take priority.

[Anonymous]

I don't miss my life before kids, but I also don't think it was meaningless. I was just ready for a new season of life.

I will say, though, that I have very easy, healthy, neurotypical kids.