Anyone else feel bad about how much they love being alone?
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Anonymous
| I work full time, and have 2 boys (8 and 10). They are both super high energy and my job is nuts. Obviously I feel so lucky to have them but.... I LOVE being alone. I am SO HAPPY when dh takes them to go and do something when we are on vacation or on the weekend and I can just.. sit. I sometimes feel that I am TOO happy about alone time and that this makes me a bad parent. Even when dh goes to bed before me sometimes - like now. I am SO HAPPY to just have 15 mins to be a human alone. anyone else? |
Anonymous
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I'm the same and no, I don't feel guilty.
Also, as my kid has gotten older, she has demonstrated that she, too, likes her solitude. I'm glad she feels good just spending time alone and doing what she wants. It's a powerful skill, being happily in solitude. |
Anonymous
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Same here. I'm somewhat introverted, and I have 2 very extroverted young DDs. They LOVE to talk, and they thrive on constant activity and being on-the-go. I also work full-time, and my situation at work has become very demanding and high-stress over the past 6 months. DH is extremely introverted and prefers to be left completely alone, so 90% of kid/house stuff falls to me. I'm mentally exhausted and would give just about anything for a weekend away to reset, but I can't even seem to manage an afternoon. My parents visited for Christmas and occupied the girls for 2 hours while I ran some last-minute errands, and it was bliss to be alone in the car just running from store to store.
I love my girls more than anything, and I feel so guilty about craving time to myself before I burn out. DH used to take our older DD out for a few hours every other weekend or so, to the playground or something similar, but he stopped doing that once our younger DD was born. I remember loving the time and peace to curl up on the couch with a good book. |
Anonymous
| op - I think the introvert thing is a big piece. I desperately need time alone to reset and never get any. I am so envious of those who are extroverts and can be 'on' and with people all day long. |
Anonymous
| Same. And im a massive extrovert. If DH dies or we get divorced my fantasy is to be alone the rest of my life. I do not understand affairs. The last thing I want is more people. |
Anonymous
SAME |
Anonymous
Right? And it just seems like so much work. I love being alone and I don’t feel the least bit guilty about it. |
Anonymous
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My DD and I are super chill people who need our quiet time. We count down to DH’s work trips when we can have whatever we want for dinner and go to bed early with books. We don’t share this with people because it makes us sound like antisocial cat ladies, but that’s what we both are at heart. DH is not chatty or energetic during the day but the sun goes down and he starts prowling around the house looking for company and an audience to listen to random stuff he reads online and it makes me absolutely crazy.
My favorite friends come to visit and we will have a nice dinner out but then curl up to read or look at our phones in silence in the same room. My MIL is the same way and her visits are really enjoyable. |
Anonymous
I couldn’t have said it better! |
Anonymous
| I’m a single mom and my DS went to college this past fall. Everyone kept asking me what I was going to do with all of my free time- find a new hobby, etc. My answer was nothing at all. I finally have the house all to myself and I’m super excited about it. I’m an introvert and the only alone time I ever had was my commute from work after dropping off/picking up my kid. Nothing wrong with wanting some alone time. We aren’t meant to be robots. |
Anonymous
+10000 I say the same exact thing |
Anonymous
| Why would I feel guilty about that? I put a ton of effort into what I do: as a mom, wife, friend, employee etc. I have always loved alone time. Why would having a family change that? |
Anonymous
Your DH preferring to be alone is no reason he GETS to be alone. Tough cookies. I say this as an extreme introvert who craves solitude like a drug. Sound like he gets hours and hours alone and you get none. Not okay. Tell him what you need (2 hours alone every weekend day; half hour alone every week day or something) and that you will be taking it. He is on childcare duty.) You’ll feel so much better. You have to TAKE the time, though, and insist on it. No kids busting into the room where you are reading, no spouse asking what he should make for lunch. Ignore, refuse to solve problems, say “gosh, I don’t know. I’m sure you’ll figure it out” and go back to your book/show when interrupted. |
Anonymous
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I get a lot of me time as older one lives with father and younger one is taken by relatives on weekends and holiday.
If the two are together, they keep each other busy, not me. |
Anonymous
Sammmmmeeeee. But I don't feel bad about it! It's the first day I've had to myself since December 14th (I work from home), and I'm LOVING it. 
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