Ten ways to raise a student that is an asset and not a liability in their classroom

[Anonymous]

I just came across this tiktok that I found very helpful as a parent, and I thought I'd pass it along.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8C15Wnc/

I definitely think the whole eight-minute video is worth a watch for those who want to help their kids have a better educational experience, but for those who aren't on tiktok, the ten things are:

1. Teach them how to delay verbal opposition.
2. Teach diplomatic/non-violent conflict resolution.
3. Teach them how to be bored. (for example, don't give them a screen for a couple of hours during a car trip)
4. Teach them how to accept the answer no from a teacher.
5. Make them responsible for their own property.
6. Teach them how to check in - teach them to take the initiative to communicate with you about grades, upcoming deadlines, etc.
7. Teach the importance of being reliable.
8. Model kindness, generosity, and empathy.
9. Depending on economic situation, get them involved in activities (especially ones that don't involve screens).
10. Treat their teacher like a human being.

[Anonymous]

Iow, teach them not to have a disability.

I'll get right on that.

Signed,
Parent of an autistic student who can't do many of those things. I guess she's a liability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Iow, teach them not to have a disability.

I'll get right on that.

Signed,
Parent of an autistic student who can't do many of those things. I guess she's a liability.

The fact that your child has challenges with those basic skills doesn’t mean that the vast majority of children can’t be taught those skills. The exceptions should not define the rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Iow, teach them not to have a disability.

I'll get right on that.

Signed,
Parent of an autistic student who can't do many of those things. I guess she's a liability.

OP here. I get you. Both of my kids have ADHD and one of them has level 1 autism. The fact is, they are liabilities in a sense. And that's okay. But I want to do my part to make teaching a tolerable experience for teachers so they don't leave. They aren't going to come to class with their pencils every day but I can teach them to wait to bring up an issue they have with the teacher, I can let them be bored, I can involve them in activities, etc. I also communicate primarily with their SPED caseworkers for their accommodation issues rather than the teacher. We can't be perfect parents and we just have to do the best we can. I know I want to do my part to reduce teacher shortages and promote a good learning environment, and this tiktok was helpful to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Iow, teach them not to have a disability.

I'll get right on that.

Signed,
Parent of an autistic student who can't do many of those things. I guess she's a liability.

It sounds like she is. Why are you putting her in a classroom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Iow, teach them not to have a disability.

I'll get right on that.

Signed,
Parent of an autistic student who can't do many of those things. I guess she's a liability.

It sounds like she is. Why are you putting her in a classroom?

Because children, even disabled children, are required to attend school.

[Anonymous]

As a teacher #1 is the thing I most have to teach the ‘advanced’ students. They often assume they are always right and immediately argue. It is a learning process and most get much better as the year progresses.

[Anonymous]

This was really good. I also felt a bit better when she got to number 5 and revealed that she's a middle school teacher. My kid is in 1st grade and these are all things we are working on but she's still learning. Especially stuff like being responsible for her stuff and knowing how to check in, though also some of the emotional regulation stuff. But we are working on it.

It's really helpful how she breaks down WHY each of these skill are helpful for kids in the classroom. It gives me some ideas for how to frame things for DD to help her understand why, for instance, learning to accept a "no" from a teacher or how to avoid an immediate conflict in order to address an issue through proper channels later, will benefit HER in the long run, and isn't just me telling her to suck it up for the benefit of the teacher or school. The video really frames these strategies as being more effective for the kids and making it easier for them to get what they need, which is great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a teacher #1 is the thing I most have to teach the ‘advanced’ students. They often assume they are always right and immediately argue. It is a learning process and most get much better as the year progresses.

Ha, do you teach my kids? That is actually the most helpful thing I learned from the video. I have always gotten glowing behavior reports from the kids' teachers, but the other day my son told me an anecdote in which he thought the teacher was being unfair, my son pushed back, and the teacher got really upset. My son said "well he calls me out in front of the whole class, so I can call him out in front of the whole class." AHHHHHH! My husband and I are fine with kids pushing back against what we say--they are free to make their argument and maybe we will change our minds. But I'm embarrassed to say that we didn't teach our kids that things don't work that way in the classroom. I just spoke to my kids (middle schoolers) and taught them to say "I understand," "Okay," "I'm sorry," etc. when the teacher calls them out. I explained that if a class is to function properly the teacher needs to be the leader and they need to be the followers.

[Anonymous]

How is that stuff not obvious?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Iow, teach them not to have a disability.

I'll get right on that.

Signed,
Parent of an autistic student who can't do many of those things. I guess she's a liability.

It’s unlikely your child is disruptive instruction for other children in a mainstream classroom.

Parent of another autistic student.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Iow, teach them not to have a disability.

I'll get right on that.

Signed,
Parent of an autistic student who can't do many of those things. I guess she's a liability.

Ugh I'm not the OP but seriously I think we all know this person is not talking about students with autism. Everything is not about you and your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a teacher #1 is the thing I most have to teach the ‘advanced’ students. They often assume they are always right and immediately argue. It is a learning process and most get much better as the year progresses.

Ha, do you teach my kids? That is actually the most helpful thing I learned from the video. I have always gotten glowing behavior reports from the kids' teachers, but the other day my son told me an anecdote in which he thought the teacher was being unfair, my son pushed back, and the teacher got really upset. My son said "well he calls me out in front of the whole class, so I can call him out in front of the whole class." AHHHHHH! My husband and I are fine with kids pushing back against what we say--they are free to make their argument and maybe we will change our minds. But I'm embarrassed to say that we didn't teach our kids that things don't work that way in the classroom. I just spoke to my kids (middle schoolers) and taught them to say "I understand," "Okay," "I'm sorry," etc. when the teacher calls them out. I explained that if a class is to function properly the teacher needs to be the leader and they need to be the followers.

PP again and I totally get it. My situation is more that a kid argues in front of the class why their answer is right and mine is wrong (which it’s not). I don’t think the kids realize it’s inappropriate, and I actually don’t mind discussing with a kid why my answer is different from theirs but it has to happen individually. In front of the whole
class is a power struggle teachers won’t/shouldnt engage in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just came across this tiktok that I found very helpful as a parent, and I thought I'd pass it along.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8C15Wnc/

I definitely think the whole eight-minute video is worth a watch for those who want to help their kids have a better educational experience, but for those who aren't on tiktok, the ten things are:

1. Teach them how to delay verbal opposition.
2. Teach diplomatic/non-violent conflict resolution.
3. Teach them how to be bored. (for example, don't give them a screen for a couple of hours during a car trip)
4. Teach them how to accept the answer no from a teacher.
5. Make them responsible for their own property.
6. Teach them how to check in - teach them to take the initiative to communicate with you about grades, upcoming deadlines, etc.
7. Teach the importance of being reliable.
8. Model kindness, generosity, and empathy.
9. Depending on economic situation, get them involved in activities (especially ones that don't involve screens).
10. Treat their teacher like a human being.

Every item on this list is an aspect of whiteness. Expecting black and Hispanic children to do these this is racist. Do better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Iow, teach them not to have a disability.

I'll get right on that.

Signed,
Parent of an autistic student who can't do many of those things. I guess she's a liability.

It sounds like she is. Why are you putting her in a classroom?

Because she is morally and legally entitled to an education in the least restrictive environment, you eugenicist freak.