My mom didn’t like her birthday gift, wants me to buy her a new one. Normal?
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Anonymous
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I purchased a gift for my mom’s birthday at the end of November. The gift was something she’d talked about, and was for one of her hobbies.
She accepted the gift graciously then texted a few hours later to say it wasn’t quite what she wanted and I can return it while she’s away traveling for the next 3 weeks. Fast forward one month later - after Christmas - my dad calls to ask if I’m planning to buy my mom a different birthday gift to replace the gift that was returned. He said she’s still waiting for her gift and feeling forgotten. I can buy another gift… but now this just feels awkward. Is this normal? Do people buy replacement gifts? I grew up with this behavior around gift giving with parents and it caused a lot of anxiety for me. Looking for objective advice - Did I drop the ball here? |
Anonymous
| Instead of letting this cause you anxiety, I would start with the understanding that your parents are weird. Knowing that, buy her the exact thing she wanted. Have her send you the link if needed. Don’t waste any more time wondering if you screwed up. She’s weird, she wants what she wants, send it to her and move on with your life. |
Anonymous
| Clearly there are bigger issues in your relationship with your parents. It isn't normal but also the anxiety it causes you isn't normal. Break the cycle for your own sake. If you want to continue is giving you mom (parents really since your Dad got involved) just take them for a nice meal and be done. |
Anonymous
| Is this the first time this has happened with your mom? My mom makes me return gifts all the time but never asks for a replacement. |
Anonymous
| Always put the receipt in the gift and say she can return if needed. Done. I'm not returning it for her OR buying her a new gift. This is weird of her to ask. |
Anonymous
Not the first time. I sent flowers for Mother’s Day one year and my dad called to tell me she was upset it was such a thoughtless gift, and to come up with a back up plan. |
Anonymous
| Of course it isn’t normal. But you have to deal with it. You should be rolling your eyes not stressed out. “My mom is ridiculous” is all you should think. And then, you either buy another gift or you don’t. Either way, she is ridiculous. |
Anonymous
That’s insane. There’s a book called “Boundaries”, author name is Cloud. I think it might be useful for you. |
Anonymous
| Hope old are they? Do they need to be screened for dementia? |
Anonymous
Haha, I am the one you are responding to. I was told, by my mom though, never again to buy flowers! |
Anonymous
I hope you said nope. You are not responsible for your mother’s emotions. Her disappointment is her choice, not yours. |
Anonymous
| This isn’t an audition or a game show called Guess What I Want. If there’s something specific she wants, she needs to tell you exactly what it is. In theory you did still owe her a gift, but the flowers were a nice present. Your parents seems like…a lot. |
Anonymous
More than a lot. That’s personality disorder territory. |
Anonymous
| Op here - thank you all for the objective and kind feedback. I’m working to “break the cycle” in a few other areas — looks like this is a new card to add to the deck 🤪 |
Anonymous
| I would have exchanged it for something else personally. |