Not selected. How to shake off the disappointment

[Anonymous]

How do you shake off disappointment and move forward after not being selected for a job at your company?

I was interviewing for a leadership role but was not selected. The reason I was given is that I lack leadership skills. That might be true, but I also think I would a good job at this role.

Anyways, now I am struggling to let go of the disappointment and moreover, I am self conscious because I feel my weak side has been exposed (I work directly with the current manager over this role).

Can you share your experiences with getting back at it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you shake off disappointment and move forward after not being selected for a job at your company?

I was interviewing for a leadership role but was not selected. The reason I was given is that I lack leadership skills. That might be true, but I also think I would a good job at this role.

Anyways, now I am struggling to let go of the disappointment and moreover, I am self conscious because I feel my weak side has been exposed (I work directly with the current manager over this role).

Can you share your experiences with getting back at it?

Perhaps you could dance to "Shake it Off" by Taylor Swift?

[Anonymous]

Job searching - make staying a choice and/or look for something better.

Find an opportunity to develop the skills you need.

And, oftentimes, a better opportunity will show up. It’s hard right now, but it’s all part of your journey. Which sounds trite and unhelpful, but do what you need to do to feel in control. For me, that was always job searching. For me, disappointment in the current job was the catalyst to start searching again. And I found better opportunities.

Good luck - take care of yourself. Feel the sadness and the disappointment and then use it to propel you forward.

[Anonymous]

This happened to me so I found a job elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

I was turned down like that. I can do the job but interviewed terribly. Took it as a note to self that the managers who interviewed know me, we've worked well together for years. Their decision was nothing personal but a professional based on my weak answers. Lesson learned to prepare much better for the interview, including taking extra classes.

[Anonymous]

Was the feedback valid? Did they hire a better qualified candidate?

[Anonymous]

I was not selected for 2 jobs that would have been promotions at my old company. I was blindsided by one, thought l was a shoe in (so that one really hurt), but was not surprised about the second one. Then an old colleague reached out and asked me to interview at a different company. I got it and am so much happier at the new company.

It’s normal to be disappointed and to take some time to get over it.

Just always keep it professional and take it as a learning experience. You never know when someone who was on a panel for a job you didn’t get might reconsider or recommend you for something else they think might be a better fit.

[Anonymous]

What do you think of the feedback? Do you think it’s fair? Have you demonstrated leadership skills? Would others agree?

[Anonymous]

Yes and no. The feedback was valid. My interview could have been better. But I have also demonstrated leadership skills, and I thinks others agree. The selected candidate is well qualified and it is current at a lower level in that department. So no complaints on that end.

My issue is that I feel vulnerable. I work directly with the boss of this position. So I feel their perception of me might have changed. I was not planning at applying at other jobs anytime soon. I am happy where I am but saw this position as an opportunity to grow.
They told me to work on my leadership and I will.

[Anonymous]

Not to be cliche, but when one door closes, another opens is true.

About seven years ago, I applied for a job, and another colleague was selected. We were both qualified, but she got it for reasons that were unclear. I was disappointed and felt stuck because promotions only opened in that office when someone died or retired.

Exactly two months later, I was unexpectedly offered a promotion in another division, which I accepted. Accepting that offer opened so many more doors, development opportunities, and growth than I would have ever experienced at my old job.

I know it's a hard pill to swallow, but trust the process and that something better is around the corner.

[Anonymous]

Didn’t you already post about this earlier this week?

[Anonymous]

Thanks to the PP for the encouraging words.

And no, I did not post about this a week ago. I found out today that I have not been selected.

[Anonymous]

Did they specify a lack leadership skills or simply a lack of leadership experience? If it’s the former, start looking elsewhere if you want to advance. Their perception is not going to change no matter how much effort you put forth.

[Anonymous]

Well you’re not on the 95th floor of the World Trade Center on 911 with a great job.

[Anonymous]

Find some leadership trainings that you are interested in. Current manager is probably hiring a friend so this would be for next time