4 year old pushed teacher at recess

Anonymous
4 year old pushed an aide at recess after getting upset with a classmate and not calming down. He was sent to the principals office and she had a talk with him about poor decisions. We took away his screen time for today and sent him to bed early and told him if he pushes a teacher again he will lose his iPad permanently. I’m very disappointed as he’s never been physical with us although he does occasionally shove/hit his older brother with sufficient teasing.

Thoughts on sufficient/appropriate punishment? Anyone btdt and have advice? He’s a very strong active kid and we are planning to put him in karate and soccer as soon as we can age wise.
Anonymous
A 4 year old? That's way over the top!

You tell them what they did hurt the teacher, ask how they would feel if pushed. And you have them apologize to the teacher the next day, end of story.
Anonymous
Do they have developmentally appropriate expectations there? Do you at home?
Anonymous
This is completely normal behavior for a four year old. I'd put him into a different school. Reminds me of a friend whose 4 year olds teacher called him a budding psychopath because he pushed another kid. It's a sign that the school isn't working with this kid.
Anonymous
lol to permanently! What do you think he thinks that means (and what on earth DO yog mean?) Tell him hitting is not okay and role play what he might have done instead.
Anonymous
Talk to him about what he CAN do when he is angry.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:lol to permanently! What do you think he thinks that means (and what on earth DO yog mean?) Tell him hitting is not okay and role play what he might have done instead.


Ok yes this is a good point it’s a bit of a bluff I guess. Permanently would probably realistically look like a few months. I really like the roll play idea thanks I will try that.
Anonymous
Your kid is four. I doubt he remembers what he had for dinner much less that he pushed someone at school today.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:This is completely normal behavior for a four year old. I'd put him into a different school. Reminds me of a friend whose 4 year olds teacher called him a budding psychopath because he pushed another kid. It's a sign that the school isn't working with this kid.

+1
Anonymous
This is normal behavior for a 4yo. Unless he pushed the teacher down a set of stairs…this is normal behavior. The entire response is way over the top.
Anonymous
Former perk teacher here and no, it is not normal for a four year old to push their teacher. Not shocked that a lot of parents are okay with it though.

Try social stories with him too. Here's an example:

https://resources.finalsite.net/images/v1657093803/myvolusiaschoolsorg/ussm1sikzijtzrdzjqv6/HittingSocialStory.pdf

That would be too wordy for a 4 year old but you can make your own for him. Read daily and discuss.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Former perk teacher here and no, it is not normal for a four year old to push their teacher. Not shocked that a lot of parents are okay with it though.

Try social stories with him too. Here's an example:

https://resources.finalsite.net/images/v1657093803/myvolusiaschoolsorg/ussm1sikzijtzrdzjqv6/HittingSocialStory.pdf

That would be too wordy for a 4 year old but you can make your own for him. Read daily and discuss.


Ugh autocorrect. Meant pre-k obviously, not perk.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Former perk teacher here and no, it is not normal for a four year old to push their teacher. Not shocked that a lot of parents are okay with it though.

Try social stories with him too. Here's an example:

https://resources.finalsite.net/images/v1657093803/myvolusiaschoolsorg/ussm1sikzijtzrdzjqv6/HittingSocialStory.pdf

That would be too wordy for a 4 year old but you can make your own for him. Read daily and discuss.


Good thing you're a former teacher. Absolutely no one here is saying they're ok with it. They're saying this is within the realm of normal for four, and punishing him (with something permanent?!) hours after the fact is useless and not age appropriate.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Former perk teacher here and no, it is not normal for a four year old to push their teacher. Not shocked that a lot of parents are okay with it though.

Try social stories with him too. Here's an example:

https://resources.finalsite.net/images/v1657093803/myvolusiaschoolsorg/ussm1sikzijtzrdzjqv6/HittingSocialStory.pdf

That would be too wordy for a 4 year old but you can make your own for him. Read daily and discuss.


Good thing you're a former teacher. Absolutely no one here is saying they're ok with it. They're saying this is within the realm of normal for four, and punishing him (with something permanent?!) hours after the fact is useless and not age appropriate.


I supervise teachers now, so sit with that.

And no, it is absolutely not within the realm of normal for a four year old to push an adult in anger. Yes it is normal for some parents to consider such behavior to be normal/acceptable.
Anonymous
Social stories are a great idea. No additional punishment- that won’t teach how to behave differently next time.

I disagree that it’s common - I have three boys (two ADHD) and none of them would have hit a teacher at four. Two, maybe.
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