I don't know how my SIL deals with my BIL's agoraphobia

[Anonymous]

I love my BIL. He's a wonderful person despite some pretty big flaws. One is he doesn't leave the town he grew up in, ever. So over the years my SIL has attended weddings alone, every holiday has to visit family alone, had to visit her Dad with cancer alone and now she has niece (not our child) that he's never met because the 1.5 hour drive he won't do.

She was 23/24 when she met BIL so I get when she was really young how compromising so much seemed like it's not that bad, but now, a decade later? I have no idea how it doesn't impact her.

[Anonymous]

You said he is a great guy so she must feel the trade off is worth it.

[Anonymous]

I actually know a lot of people like this. They just do things separately. And as far as never having met a new baby in the family, well the road goes both ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You said he is a great guy so she must feel the trade off is worth it.

He is, but he's also a recovering alcoholic. She wants kids and he doesn't. I'm pretty sure he only married her for insurance benefits (he quit his union job then asked her to marry him quickly after 5 years no ring)

So he's a "nice guy" if I'm not in a relationship with him kind of guy.

[Anonymous]

Too bad he wasn’t Truman. He would have been so happy in Seahaven Island.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You said he is a great guy so she must feel the trade off is worth it.

He is, but he's also a recovering alcoholic. She wants kids and he doesn't. I'm pretty sure he only married her for insurance benefits (he quit his union job then asked her to marry him quickly after 5 years no ring)

So he's a "nice guy" if I'm not in a relationship with him kind of guy.

of course now that people aren’t agreeing with OP, additional “facts” come out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You said he is a great guy so she must feel the trade off is worth it.

He is, but he's also a recovering alcoholic. She wants kids and he doesn't. I'm pretty sure he only married her for insurance benefits (he quit his union job then asked her to marry him quickly after 5 years no ring)

So he's a "nice guy" if I'm not in a relationship with him kind of guy.

of course now that people aren’t agreeing with OP, additional “facts” come out

I said he had some big flaws...these are the other big flaws. To me, though, him not supporting her in joy, holidays, grief because they are all require travel seems like the worst offense over the long haul.

[Anonymous]

If someone is a living and caring partner, you can adjust to their quirks.

[Anonymous]

Someone could physically accompany everywhere but be emotionally absent.

[Anonymous]

Good thing it isn't you, I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You said he is a great guy so she must feel the trade off is worth it.

He is, but he's also a recovering alcoholic. She wants kids and he doesn't. I'm pretty sure he only married her for insurance benefits (he quit his union job then asked her to marry him quickly after 5 years no ring)

So he's a "nice guy" if I'm not in a relationship with him kind of guy.

Well, in that case travel isn't even a significant issue here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good thing it isn't you, I guess.

Seriously. Different people want different things out of relationships, OP.

[Anonymous]

Consulting companies don't care about major as long as you have a good balance of other courses and internships to supplement your degree. Obviously, a good GPA and analytical skills help.

[Anonymous]

You hypothesizing about and hyperfocusing on her life is weird. That sounds weirder to me than two married people making decisions that work for them. Do you need a hobby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You said he is a great guy so she must feel the trade off is worth it.

He is, but he's also a recovering alcoholic. She wants kids and he doesn't. I'm pretty sure he only married her for insurance benefits (he quit his union job then asked her to marry him quickly after 5 years no ring)

So he's a "nice guy" if I'm not in a relationship with him kind of guy.

of course now that people aren’t agreeing with OP, additional “facts” come out

Exactly. Move those goalposts, OP.