Here's a fun one- should I tell a past friend that her dead mom keeps reaching out to me?

[Anonymous]

I promise I'm not crazy. Just an average mid 30s busy working mom who has never talked to anyone about this.

I had a best friend from kindergarten to 8th grade. We went to different high schools and eventually drifted midway through HS. Her mom died very suddenly when we were in 8th grade and were super close at the time. The mom has been "with" me every since- in my dreams, I see her out of the corner of my eye VERY distinctly several times per year for the last 20+ years, I don't know how to explain it but she like nags my thoughts every few years.

I've always just ignored it. But the last week it will not stop. I keep thinking or dreaming of her holding a baby and have the overwhelming feeling/nagging thoughts that the old friend either recently lost a baby and the mom "has it" or she is struggling to get pregnant and the mom is....idk holding the baby and about to "send it down"? I absolutely realize how ridiculous this sounds.

Do I continue to ignore or message the former friend on social media like a crazy lady? 🤪

(fwiw I've unintentionally received and delivered "messages" before several times from other people but I avoid this all and pretend it doesn't exist in my life)

[Anonymous]

You should absolutely check in with your friend. I'm all for the woo, and you disclose that or not.

[Anonymous]

I'm all against the woo, and would say reach out to the friend and say she's been on your mind and how is she, and say nothing about her mother. That's weird. My mother's dead and if someone from 8th grade reached out and started telling me that I'd be weirded out and stop talking to them.

[Anonymous]

Please don't do this.

Just let her know you're thinking about her and her lovely mom.

[Anonymous]

I would reach out to your friend and see how she is doing. Say youve been thinking about her or had a dream about her or something.

You can always probe a bit and see if she "believes" or wants to hear these sorts of things. Not everyone would, so I wouldn't start out with that.

[Anonymous]

It would depend on the friend. There are definitely people who have been in my life that I would tell and others I wouldn’t. Totally depends on the person and the relationship you once shared.

Maybe send a Christmas card and mention you’ve been thinking of her and remembering fondly the times you shared with this friend and her family.

[Anonymous]

If you are friends on social media, message her "I've been dreaming a lot about your mom lately for some reason, so you've been on my mind. How are you?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please don't do this.

Just let her know you're thinking about her and her lovely mom.

I would do this.

[Anonymous]

Please uphold the promise you made to us in your first sentence. Feel free to check on her but uhhh maybe not venture into this off break

[Anonymous]

Check in with her. Maybe just keep what you need to tell her to a dream. Or start with it that way anyway and see how she feels about it.

You say the mom has hung around since her death when y'all were in 8th grade. I assume when you were teenagers you didn't mention this to your friend?

I have similar experiences and don't tend to tell people about it at all; but I think you have a message to pass on.

[Anonymous]

Some things are too awkward to bring up, and this sounds like one of them.

At most, reach out and tell her you're thinking of her, and of her mom.

[Anonymous]

I'm in a similar situation here but we're not close anymore. She often posts about her mom on social media but don't know if I should share this with her.

[Anonymous]

Your dreams are your own subconscious thoughts. You’re not receiving messages from your childhood friend’s dead mom.

Please do not involve this woman in whatever you think is happening here.

[Anonymous]

Do you communicate with her at all now, even if that's just being connected on social media? If not, please do not reach out to her. Have some kind of nice remembrance for her mom and your friendship by yourself and go back to being the busy person you describe.

If you are in communication, reaching out and saying you dreamed about her mom and wanted to see how she is doing would be appropriate, if you felt like you needed to do anything at all. Definitely do not go prying into the fertility business of someone you haven't been close to since you were 14.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are friends on social media, message her "I've been dreaming a lot about your mom lately for some reason, so you've been on my mind. How are you?"

This. I reached out to an old friend after she posted her mom died to say I’d been thinking about her mom a lot the past week (which was true).

This happens to me sometimes, and happens to my MS-aged daughter a lot. I’d recommend reaching out to a psychic or intuitive person and working on how to guard yourself better.