Would you help pay for a relative's divorce?

[Anonymous]

My SIL (DH's sister) is married to a spendthrift and is also not savvy with money at all. They live in a super low COL area but apparently are in dire financial straits made worse by the fact that he's spending tons on idiotic things and she's finally fed up with him (spending is just one part of it, mainly he's just an overgrown baby) and just sent a group text to both DH, their mother, their brother, and a cousin asking for help to pay legal fees to divorce him and to get on her feet. Of this group, we and the cousin (DINK) are best positioned to help. If a relative asked you to help pay for a divorce, would you?

[Anonymous]

Yes. And would offer to let them live with me while they figure it out.

[Anonymous]

To a degree. I would suggest litigation first. Any chance she’ll have to pay alimony? How’s she going to afford that?

[Anonymous]

In that particular case, yes, I would help.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely. Divorce and rehab are two things I’d help with without a second thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely. Divorce and rehab are two things I’d help with without a second thought.

How much? All of it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To a degree. I would suggest litigation first. Any chance she’ll have to pay alimony? How’s she going to afford that?

Litigation is the costliest form of divorce. OP's relative is asking because they can't afford it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To a degree. I would suggest litigation first. Any chance she’ll have to pay alimony? How’s she going to afford that?

I’d suggest mediation first and plain vanilla terms. $5k max.

[Anonymous]

If I could afford it, then yes.

[Anonymous]

Of course assuming I was able to to.

[Anonymous]

Nope. My sibling has decided not to divorce.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t pay unless it was my adult child and I’d still put a tight range on it. And prefer to spend my time- finding a good lawyer, therapist, strategy, fireside acct, etc. for them.

They need to be incentivized to calm down, settle and mediate. Not burn through sequential $50k retainers litigating for the same results.

[Anonymous]

Forensic acct.
Ha ha

[Anonymous]

It’s up to your DH

[Anonymous]

We give a certain percentage of our income to charity every year so if its possible we can help up to a certain level. However, she is an adult and you aren't her parents so its her responsibility to sort it out, he is spendthrift, not a physical or mental threat to her.