Nanny struggles with toddler

[Anonymous]

We’ve had our nanny for a year. She started when DC was 17 months. She had great references and has been a nanny for a long time. At first, she was great, we had very few issues. But as DC has gotten older, it’s clear that she is not great with toddlers. She is completely unable to get DC to do ANYTHING that they don’t want to do, like putting shoes/jacket on, changing diaper, getting in the car or stroller… this leads to DC screaming “No!” at her multiple times a day. She basically stands there and pleads with them. I have explained to her 1,2,3 Magic, which works like a charm for us as parents, and our time-out routine and what triggers it. When I’m working from home, I try not to interfere, but sometimes I’m passing through the kitchen or something and will then model how we approach misbehavior/defiance, so she’s seen how we would like it done. I have also delivered direct feedback about how we all need to be consistent and what I have found to be effective in handling DC’s toddler behavior/how I would like her to handle certain situations.

DC behaves much better with us than they do with her, probably because she is so terrible at setting boundaries. Today she actually asked me (I’m at home) to handle certain things, like getting DC up from their nap and putting their shoes on, because those moments always cause friction when she tries to do it.

I’m getting frustrated and just don’t know where to go from here. I’ll try more feedback, but I’ve already been very direct and specific, so I’m not sure it will even help.

[Anonymous]

New nanny, let her move back to infants. We shifted to preschool at age 2 because the nanny anticipated the toddler’s every need, so they did not need to develop language skills. Also sad other kids using potty, etc.

[Anonymous]

Doesn't seem like a good fit, find someone else.

[Anonymous]

She knows time outs are not developmental appropriate and no longer an acceptable behavior guidance tool. Find a much older Nanny if you want time outs used.

[Anonymous]

Not all nannies are good with all ages.

[Anonymous]

Get rid of the nanny. We have 4 kids and have found that the nanny who is great with babies often a disaster with older kids and vice versa. It gets trickier when you have kids spread apart in ages but just get the nanny who is the best for with the child who currently needs the most attention/help.

[Anonymous]

Since this thread has been resurrected, OP with an update - I had a couple of direct, hard talks with the nanny. It did help. I also think that the Christmas break helped, because DC was with us sans nanny for a week and a half straight, and we were able to be very consistent with them. So DC has been testing boundaries a lot less.

[Anonymous]

For us it escalated into child being aggressive with nanny. She was unable to set any boundary, i tried to pressure him to comply with her and he ended up clinging to his dad and having separation anxiety from dad. I loved the nanny but she herself quit, it wasnt working for anyone.

[Anonymous]

123 magic and timeouts are banned from every childcare settings like schools, centers and daycares
Those methods hurts the child's BRAIN

OP, your child needs to learn to respect their elders. You can't have her forever in a bubble until she's 99 years old

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:123 magic and timeouts are banned from every childcare settings like schools, centers and daycares
Those methods hurts the child's BRAIN

OP, your child needs to learn to respect their elders. You can't have her forever in a bubble until she's 99 years old

oh FFS how does sitting quietly hurt a childs brain?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:123 magic and timeouts are banned from every childcare settings like schools, centers and daycares
Those methods hurts the child's BRAIN

OP, your child needs to learn to respect their elders. You can't have her forever in a bubble until she's 99 years old

There’s a weird troll who’s been hanging out on this forum posting insane comments.

[Anonymous]

Timeouts and other kids books are making parents confused. Timeouts is not acceptable anymore.
Maryland bans timeouts.

Let the child cry, be angry but not act on it. Let them there and when they are calm they can come to play

So easy, you don't need an expensive school or buy more books or pay $$$$$ tons psychologist.
Teach good manners and empathy

And stop spoiling them. You are making it harder for the teachers

[Anonymous]

Virginia bans timeouts too

[Anonymous]

Magic 123 and timeouts are banned, not acceptable anymore. It's not good for the children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:123 magic and timeouts are banned from every childcare settings like schools, centers and daycares
Those methods hurts the child's BRAIN

OP, your child needs to learn to respect their elders. You can't have her forever in a bubble until she's 99 years old

oh FFS how does sitting quietly hurt a childs brain?

PP read it in a parenting book, therefore it must be true.

123 Magic and timeouts worked great for my toddler. She’s now 11 and in the competitive magnet program for gifted students, and a super sweet kid. I think her brain came out ok.