Had a nanny for my first two babies, considering daycare for my third...experiences?

[Anonymous]

Has anyone gone from nannies to daycare? I'm about to start TTC a third but am really done with having nannies after 4.5 years of it. They have been really great in so many ways but i'm just ready for the next chapter -- I work from home and I am tired of having someone in my house, being an employer and all that comes with it, and paying nearly $1,000 every week. I really want a third child, but I don't want to go the nanny route this time. My older kids will be in school til the afternoon by the time a baby would be here.

Has anyone else made this switch? How was it for you mentally as a mom, and generally as a family? Since a nanny is all I know, I'm worried about a baby taking naps on other people's schedules, napping in a public environment, too-loud sound machines, things like that.

[Anonymous]

I’ve done both. Went back to nanny. Here’s why: crazy worker shortage recently means lots of bad turnover. Baby constantly sick. If I went back it would be to an in home daycare.

[Anonymous]

We only used daycare for our DC, but I suspect the biggest impact will be the time it takes to do drop-off and pick-up. That whole process takes a lot of time. I will say though that for me it is 100% worth it. I did stress out a lot about naps at daycare, though DC did not nap well at home either and daycare did get her on a good schedule I would not have thought to try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We only used daycare for our DC, but I suspect the biggest impact will be the time it takes to do drop-off and pick-up. That whole process takes a lot of time. I will say though that for me it is 100% worth it. I did stress out a lot about naps at daycare, though DC did not nap well at home either and daycare did get her on a good schedule I would not have thought to try.

Adding that our daycare center has had very minimal turnover in the last two years. In 2020/2021, the turnover was rough. Definitely ask about turnover. If they can't brag about how long their teachers stay, it's not a great place.

[Anonymous]

1st kid was born a bit before COVID so that was its own weirdness of being home too long. Recently had our 2nd kid and tried to do a nanny. It was a disaster and very expensive - flakiness, nannies lying about ability and experience, the only decent nanny quit to go for another gig with two days' notice, etc. I felt like we were constantly interviewing nannies for months on end.

Sent kid to daycare (got in early off the waitlist) and it's been great. Daycare is next to my office and high quality, low turn-over. The daycare gets me in the office 4-5 days per week, which is good for my career. One-third the price of a nanny in DC.

[Anonymous]

Kids are older teens now. I was a SAHM, used daycare, grandparent care, and had a nanny for my kids over the years. Literally cannot tell any difference in care in the kids as older teens. All are great kids. This is just to say that you will figure it out! It will be fine!

[Anonymous]

Easier to try daycare first then switch to nanny if needed.

[Anonymous]

Keep in mind, since you WFH, switching to daycare means you're adding a commute. I used a daycare that was right next to my office building, which was a great arrangement because I could be there in minutes in the event of a closure or illness, and I could also easily attend events that the school hosted. I would only switch to a daycare if it's within walking distance. I agree with PP who recommended an in home daycare, if you have any in your neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Your third child will never be on their own nap schedule anyway. They're a third child--they're going to get dragged along to other people's events all the time regardless. So throw that out the window as a concern about daycare. (And I have three daycare kids--the first never napped, the second napped on a very reliable schedule, and the third napped erratically.)

Personally, I think you'll find the switch to daycare a huge relief. If you've had a nanny and now you have school aged kids, you've already seen both worlds because daycare is so similar to school in terms of pros/cons. (Daycare doesn't have quite as many days off as public school at least.). I only lasted about three months with a nanny before becoming a daycare mom for life.

[Anonymous]

I had nanny for first, daycare for second. Working from home was the big driver in this decision- I can’t have the kids in the house when I am. So for me it was a big improvement. With daycare you do have to go with their flow but it hasn’t been an issue for us. I also like the diverse activities and socialization.

[Anonymous]

You will be swapping 1:1 attention for 1:3 or 1:4. Do you like washing many bottles every day? Having a baby with RSV/hand food and mouth/roseola/etc? Dealing with a changing cast of caregivers? Having an overtired baby who doesn’t nap because infant rooms are generally loud and bright and hard for infants to sleep in? Not having your baby’s poops
Changed immediately? Having them lay on a boppy or in a chair or bouncer most of the awake time when they aren’t being fed or diapered? That’s daycare. It’s just exchanging one set of issues for another. Nannies are costly for a reason - it’s why most parent prefer them. But working from home with a nanny and your child is also a special kind of challenge and personally while it was better for my kid it made my work life difficult. Try a home daycare to start - more home like, better ratios, and less institutional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You will be swapping 1:1 attention for 1:3 or 1:4. Do you like washing many bottles every day? Having a baby with RSV/hand food and mouth/roseola/etc? Dealing with a changing cast of caregivers? Having an overtired baby who doesn’t nap because infant rooms are generally loud and bright and hard for infants to sleep in? Not having your baby’s poops
Changed immediately? Having them lay on a boppy or in a chair or bouncer most of the awake time when they aren’t being fed or diapered? That’s daycare. It’s just exchanging one set of issues for another. Nannies are costly for a reason - it’s why most parent prefer them. But working from home with a nanny and your child is also a special kind of challenge and personally while it was better for my kid it made my work life difficult. Try a home daycare to start - more home like, better ratios, and less institutional.

It’s always so annoying when the nannies trying to drum up business post here, and I say that as someone who hired a nanny for ten years. But the post above is ridiculous nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Wait to see if it's even an issue. Lots other women, including myself, were totally infertile and couldn't have #3.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You will be swapping 1:1 attention for 1:3 or 1:4. Do you like washing many bottles every day? Having a baby with RSV/hand food and mouth/roseola/etc? Dealing with a changing cast of caregivers? Having an overtired baby who doesn’t nap because infant rooms are generally loud and bright and hard for infants to sleep in? Not having your baby’s poops
Changed immediately? Having them lay on a boppy or in a chair or bouncer most of the awake time when they aren’t being fed or diapered? That’s daycare. It’s just exchanging one set of issues for another. Nannies are costly for a reason - it’s why most parent prefer them. But working from home with a nanny and your child is also a special kind of challenge and personally while it was better for my kid it made my work life difficult. Try a home daycare to start - more home like, better ratios, and less institutional.

It’s always so annoying when the nannies trying to drum up business post here, and I say that as someone who hired a nanny for ten years. But the post above is ridiculous nonsense.

Yeah I hope no one reads this and thinks it’s true.

- mom who went from 1:2 nanny share ratio to 1:3 infant ratio and somehow the world didn’t end. Turns out that’s not a huge difference. Oh and the daycare washed bottles, had a dark and quiet napping area, and sent home a happy and clean kid each day!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You will be swapping 1:1 attention for 1:3 or 1:4. Do you like washing many bottles every day? Having a baby with RSV/hand food and mouth/roseola/etc? Dealing with a changing cast of caregivers? Having an overtired baby who doesn’t nap because infant rooms are generally loud and bright and hard for infants to sleep in? Not having your baby’s poops
Changed immediately? Having them lay on a boppy or in a chair or bouncer most of the awake time when they aren’t being fed or diapered? That’s daycare. It’s just exchanging one set of issues for another. Nannies are costly for a reason - it’s why most parent prefer them. But working from home with a nanny and your child is also a special kind of challenge and personally while it was better for my kid it made my work life difficult. Try a home daycare to start - more home like, better ratios, and less institutional.

It’s always so annoying when the nannies trying to drum up business post here, and I say that as someone who hired a nanny for ten years. But the post above is ridiculous nonsense.

Yeah I hope no one reads this and thinks it’s true.

- mom who went from 1:2 nanny share ratio to 1:3 infant ratio and somehow the world didn’t end. Turns out that’s not a huge difference. Oh and the daycare washed bottles, had a dark and quiet napping area, and sent home a happy and clean kid each day!

+1 also beware of the notion that home daycares automatically have better ratios. In MD a home daycare can have 8 children including 2 babies and only one teacher for all of them.