please weight in on this argument with my sister and I

[Anonymous]

So my sisters daughter had a baby (previous) she was a preemie and at 2 months she's only about 9 lbs she's like a little doll.

niece works from home, has a very easy job as she's on her computer all day. she is actually taking this tiny 9lb baby to daycare so she can sit home and work. I am totally dumbfounded and expressed this, at which point we got in a. huge argument. My parents also weighed in and were equally upset.

Now if she worked outside the homeland had to work I could understand though I would still be sad that she's so tiny going to a daycare. But she's working from home!!! Curious if you agree?

[Anonymous]

I suspect English is not your native language, so I will say this simply: Mind Your Own Freaking Business

[Anonymous]

Stay out of it. What does it have to do with you? Have you ever had to care for an infant? You can't give your all to a baby and work at the same time.
Some jobs don't allow you to have children at home without other care while you're working. And in the end, none of this matters. It has NOTHING to do with you.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure if this is real as it seems set up to try to stir the pot, but are you or your parents going to help with childcare so baby can stay out of daycare longer? I agree that ideally a two month old can still be home with family, but working from home is still work. You can't expect her to care for an infant while also working and her job may have rules about this. I'm not saying any of this is right, but it isn't your niece's fault. It is our country's terrible policies and lack of support for mothers in the postpartum period.

My sister had to go back to work at 8 weeks due to a particular circumstance and the grandparents stepped into help with baby for months so she could have more time at home. Not all families are able to do this, but if you aren't then please support your niece as it is likely hard for her and she doesn't need people making her feel worse.

Stop blaming your niece and offer to help.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t put a 2mo in daycare regardless of size. However I’m glad she’s not trying to work and parent at the same time as I don’t think you do either well when trying to do both.
If you’re working at home or not, you should not be trying to care for a baby as well.

[Anonymous]

You're in the wrong. You're welcome!

[Anonymous]

Work from home without childcare is usually prohibited and if it's a government or contractor job it's illegal and fraud

[Anonymous]

I vehemently disagree with you.

It is beyond difficult to focus on work and give appropriate attention to a newborn at the same time.

Having a baby at a caring daycare can be wonderful.

You (and your parents) are massively out of your lane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t put a 2mo in daycare regardless of size. However I’m glad she’s not trying to work and parent at the same time as I don’t think you do either well when trying to do both.
If you’re working at home or not, you should not be trying to care for a baby as well.

This right here.

[Anonymous]

I call BS because most daycares don’t take babies under 12 weeks.

Also please acquaint yourself with normal, professional norms of working from home. Most employers require workers to have childcare because the worker is . . . Working. I also “sit at a computer all day” but I have a demanding job and am in meetings and there is no way I could pop up and attend to a baby any time they cried.

Doesn’t a baby deserve an attentive caregiver, not a distracted adult trying to work?

[Anonymous]

My son was born at 32 weeks, and was very fragile when I had to return to in-person work. It broke my heart to leave him at daycare, and indeed, he developed failure to thrive, and I had to quit my job and care for him. He turned out to have a global developmental delay.

This is a conversation your niece needs to have with the pediatrician, OP. Weight alone is not as much a factor has developmental milestones and the skills and attention of the people at that particular daycare (ours was terrible).

I do think there are serious grounds for concern, here. It's not the fact that your niece works from home! Just because she works on her computer at home, doesn't mean she can get up and care for a baby!

I think if funds are tight for your niece, you should all contribute to a nanny for at least 3 months while the baby catches up and gains strength. The nanny can watch the baby in your niece's home, or perhaps a relative's home, if one is near. This is what we tried to do, to save my job, but unfortunately we could not afford it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son was born at 32 weeks, and was very fragile when I had to return to in-person work. It broke my heart to leave him at daycare, and indeed, he developed failure to thrive, and I had to quit my job and care for him. He turned out to have a global developmental delay.

This is a conversation your niece needs to have with the pediatrician, OP. Weight alone is not as much a factor has developmental milestones and the skills and attention of the people at that particular daycare (ours was terrible).

I do think there are serious grounds for concern, here. It's not the fact that your niece works from home! Just because she works on her computer at home, doesn't mean she can get up and care for a baby!

I think if funds are tight for your niece, you should all contribute to a nanny for at least 3 months while the baby catches up and gains strength. The nanny can watch the baby in your niece's home, or perhaps a relative's home, if one is near. This is what we tried to do, to save my job, but unfortunately we could not afford it.

Me again. Also there might be some post-partum depression going on there. Sometimes it's hard to bond with a premature baby, especially one with special needs like mine. Please do not accuse your niece of poor parenting, she might be struggling with a lot of undefined feelings.

[Anonymous]

I would put an employee who is caring for an infant without any daycare or nanny up on disciplinary measures. That being said, we have maternity leave. How can someone work and care for a 2 month old? Are you so far removed from babies that you think 2 month olds just sleep all day? Nope! They're super needy. At 2m, I was basically breastfeeding around the clock and getting baby to nap. We'd go run a lot of errands because the babies liked to be on the go.

I think your anger should be at other people (yourself? You're the aunt) for not helping to care for this baby since obviously mom needs the money and has no leave or maternity.

[Anonymous]

OP, it takes a village. Your niece's village includes daycare. How about you take a leave from work to take care of the infant?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I call BS because most daycares don’t take babies under 12 weeks.

Also please acquaint yourself with normal, professional norms of working from home. Most employers require workers to have childcare because the worker is . . . Working. I also “sit at a computer all day” but I have a demanding job and am in meetings and there is no way I could pop up and attend to a baby any time they cried.

Doesn’t a baby deserve an attentive caregiver, not a distracted adult trying to work?

Home daycares may take a baby that age.

OP, if you can help, then you can speak. Otherwise, just mind your business. They are doing the best they can and don’t need to be made to feel bad about it.