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sperm analysis - how to tell/ask DH?
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Anonymous
| Been TTC for 7 or 8 mos, and I am not ruling out my own issues (that I'm trying to work on, just in case). Haven't been to an RE and don't think I'm ready to take that plunge yet, but several people (including this board) have recommended DH get a sperm analysis. I'm trying to figure out how to bring that up with him. He's not overly squeamish, but I anticipate some resistance b/c of a yuck factor. He's also pretty anti-doctors and will only go if absolutely necessary (sound like anyone else's DH?!). So what can I tell him to expect? I'm picturing a sterile lab room with Playboy magazines and a plastic cup - that would make me feel squeamish, too, so I don't blame him. What happens in reality? How did your DH take it? |
Anonymous
|
My DH didn't find it fun or anything, but he was 100% on board as we had been TTC for a year with no results. He did his first analysis at home, then took his test to the lab. Some labs/docs will let you do this; my OB/GYN wrote the lab order for this first test. The result was 0 sperm (a result of trauma/scarring from pediatric surgery). He did a second, confirming test at his urologist's office. We went on to IVF/ICSI and now have a beautiful child.
Even though you haven't been to the RE, have you at least been to your OB/GYN to discuss that you're TTC without success? If so, they'll recommend the first round of tests that you'll need, and then you could bring up the sperm analysis with your DH at the same time so you're both doing the testing together. That's how we handled it. I thought he got the easier end of the deal, since our tests as women involve blood draws! Best wishes to you. |
Anonymous
| Thanks for the reply. Doing it at home doesn't make it sound so bad. I have talked with my OB and have recently started acupuncture. If I'm not pregnant this cycle (not really thinking I am, but I'm sort of dejected at this point), then I'm also starting Chinese herbs. I have a history of very early m/c and very, very light periods and low progesterone, which might have resulted in the m/c. But with acupuncture and herbs and progesterone and luck (probably not in that order) ended up with DD 2.5 years ago. I'm wondering about DH's sperm b/c my issues seemed related to staying pregnant rather than getting pregnant. Issues change, of course, but getting a sperm sample is non-invasive, if a little awkward. |
Anonymous
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20:19 -- great news that you can and stay pregnant, though sorry you've had to suffer early m/c. Tough at any stage.
Since we had to go through with IVF at the end of the day, my DH's awkardness at the initial testing paled quite a lot in comparison to the testing, monitoring and procedures I had to have -- not to mention labor and emergency c delivery! We both agreed that he got the easier end of the deal (though his surgery to collect sperm was no picnic for sure.) Not that we thought of it as a competition. 
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Anonymous
| Oh, meant to say that it was 20:19 again, replying to OP. |
Anonymous
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Why not take the first step in testing together. If you're not pregnant this month, you can have your OB check your hormone levels with a blood test (go on day 3 of your cycle for FSH and they can test some other key hormones, too) and DH can do the sperm analysis. Remind him that once he does that, his job is done.
FWIW, I went with DH when he did his sperm test. Not in the room to "help," but just for moral support, and then we went out to lunch before going back to work. |
Anonymous
| 21:42 - whoa - in the middle of the work day? hardcore! |
Anonymous
|
Just explain to him that it's easy to rule out a male factor first and then focus on you. Tell him that's what you doctor advised to do.
And the test room is not that bad. My husband has never complained. Just said that the porn is bad and than the chair is gross. 
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Anonymous
| My DH told me that there was a sign in the room asking people to not steal the magazines and videos!!! |
Anonymous
| In addition to the great suggestions above, I would suggest that if you're concerned about fertility issues, you go to an RE now, together. We went after 6 months of TTC. This is a journey you are on together, to create a family. REs are more qualified to interpret the results of the various tests and advise you than OBs. Not trying to put down OBs in any way, but if you have questions about fertility, the best is to go straight to the expert and not waste time. There are other threads dealing with this on this board. The RE can talk to your husband about the sperm analysis and explain what they're looking for. My husband found the sperm analysis process somewhat demeaning and awkward, but I was doing more invasive tests so he understood it was all in service of the cause. |
Anonymous
| Who can order an analysis for DH? He doesn't have a doctor. Can my OB order it? |
Anonymous
Not hardcore, unfortunately, just what most of us with long term fertility problems end up doing (At a number of facilities, your DH will have to go by appointment slot for the sample collection). My DH was uncomfortable the first time, but got over it after coming to a couple of my appointments and seeing what I was going through. |
Anonymous
He can go to urologist, who will examine him (check for varicocele, prostate) and give him a script for a sperm test. |
Anonymous
My GYN ordered the test the first time. If it's been this many months and you've started trying to do things on your end, just approach it as "we don't know what the issue is right now, but we might as well both get checked out." There's no point in you spending several months working on you if at the end of the day, there's a problem on his end. DH did his first test at home that we took to the lab and then in the room. DH says that it was weird to do it at the dr's office but at least you felt like they were getting the sample on time without the pressure of getting it to the lab at the right time and you knew the lab techs were on top of it vs. dropping off something that took a lot of effort to get to the lab and just hoping it gets to the right person at the right time. |
Anonymous
| If he has to collect in the office, at least take your man out and let him buy his own porn. Those magazines at the doctors have been handled many times. |