Sad about new kitten
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Anonymous
| I finally got a kitten after waiting ten years since my last one died. I’ve been so excited. Brought her home two weeks ago and have worked hard to make her feel safe and comfortable. She loves to play, but does not want to be handled. She ducks away from my hand when I try to pet her. Does not want to be held and will not come to me. She has been contained to my master bedroom/bathroom while she’s adjusting and despite having a comfy bed for her and a cat tree with enclosed space, she just wants to stay under my bed out of reach. She doesn’t want to sit or sleep near me. I’m so sad that she doesn’t want physical affection. Other cats in my life have all been very affectionate from the start. Is there hope, or is this just her personality? |
Anonymous
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It's very hard to know. How old is she?
This is the one advantage to going with an older cat, because it's more obvious who the snugglers are. I've had cats all over the board with this. Generally as they age they chill out, even the one I had that was semi-feral would snuggle as she got older. But give her time. The fact that you are so sad about this means you are probably pressuring the kitten too much and too often to be physical with you. |
Anonymous
Two weeks isn't long enough but, it could be her personality. This is why I adopt adult cats because their personality is known. |
Anonymous
| She is 11 weeks. I'll keep playing by her rules and hopefully she'll come around. She's just so cute and fluffy and so it's hard not to want to snuggle her! |
Anonymous
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She hopefully will come around on her own terms. I adopted 2 sister kittens years ago and after a few weeks felt the same way about them. I didn’t think we were bonding.
One day I took a nap on the sofa and woke up to find them both cuddled up to me. |
Anonymous
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You've got to give it time!
Make sure you have treats available that you can give her when she comes near you. Congrats on your new kitten - we had two who were terrified their first few weeks. Now both - as grown adults - love snuggles and belly rubs. I hope yours will, too! |
Anonymous
| It might help the situation to leave things more up to her. Be available, offer treats in or near your lap and hand, but stop pursuing her so avidly. Read her cues. If she ducks away, then that’s not helping her to feel safe and comfortable. If she likes to play — then play as long as she seems to clearly enjoy it. I think there’s hope — but paying attention to her needs, at the moment, is a good way to develop trust. |
Anonymous
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I understand the combination of excitement and lingering grief that can lead to this kind of initial disappointment in a new pet.
But: there is hope! I have definitely had cats who started out standoffish and ended up clingy, purring lovebugs. I agree with the above advice to let kitteh set the pace of rapprochement. |
Anonymous
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Sounds like you really want a dog, not a cat. |
Anonymous
| It took my cat about 4 or 5 years to like it when I pick him up and another 3-4 until he slept on the bed with me. Don't lose hope! |
Anonymous
It didn't take my cats this long but, yes, the timelines can really vary. We've had two who didn't want to snuggle at all until closer to two years old. |
Anonymous
| One of our cats dissed me for a year and then has been glued to my side ever since (now in year 4). Give it time!! |
Anonymous
| My dog was stand-offish. I’d say it took her a year or two to become more cuddly. Now she demands attention. |
Anonymous
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If she’s hiding under your bed, she’s still getting used to her new environment. With time she’ll probably approach you.
That said, if this is an adopted cat, it may just not be the right fit for you. Many rescues and shelters have the option for you to return the pet. |
Anonymous
+1 |