Can you have a dinner conversation with your mildly ASD/ADHD kid?

[Anonymous]

I understand that young kids want to eat their dinners and run. I would have thought by age 15 or so that my teen wouldn't wolf down their foods and run. Honestly tired of nagging but is this an unreasonable request? I was going to bring this up with his therapist at our next parent check-in but wondering I am expecting too much. I am also trying to keep a respectful meal time with the family for my younger neurotypical teen who may want to flee just because he is entering adolescence and no longer wants to hang with his ucool parents. Should I just give up on family meals?

[Anonymous]

One of them, yes; the other only when he is on stimulants (and then he isn't very hungry but he'll engage). On the weekend, he cannot have a conversation during dinner. It's impossible.

[Anonymous]

We can have a conversation if I don't ask too many questions and it's about her special interests. I definitely don't try to talk about school or anything stressful.

[Anonymous]

Stop saying mild ASD. It's crappy.

[Anonymous]

Ok- please help with the proper term. My point is that the kid is CAPABLE of having a conversation vs. my friend's kid who is ASD and cannot carry a dialogue anytime anyplace due to speech and processing issues.

[Anonymous]

Ours sometimes leaves the table early, is sometimes irritable, sometimes monopolizes the conversation, and is sometimes fine.

Don't give up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop saying mild ASD. It's crappy.

NP. It's descriptive and accurate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of them, yes; the other only when he is on stimulants (and then he isn't very hungry but he'll engage). On the weekend, he cannot have a conversation during dinner. It's impossible.

Thank you. How old are your kids? Also my kids switched from stimulant to antidepressant a year ago and we have noticed that the conversations halted when the stimulant stopped. He has kept his grades up so we havent pressed for the stimulant to come back just so we can have a dinner conversation but hoping our neuropsych in the spring will shed further light on the the right med. Just hoping he is talking with others at school.

[Anonymous]

kid not kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop saying mild ASD. It's crappy.

oh FFS. stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of them, yes; the other only when he is on stimulants (and then he isn't very hungry but he'll engage). On the weekend, he cannot have a conversation during dinner. It's impossible.

Thank you. How old are your kids? Also my kids switched from stimulant to antidepressant a year ago and we have noticed that the conversations halted when the stimulant stopped. He has kept his grades up so we havent pressed for the stimulant to come back just so we can have a dinner conversation but hoping our neuropsych in the spring will shed further light on the the right med. Just hoping he is talking with others at school.

They are 11 and 13. I don't like the stimulants, evenings and weekends (med free) are rough but they have really been life changing for the whole family, now that he can actually engage (sometimes).

[Anonymous]

Irritable and checked out by dinnertime when dose 2 wears off. My DH has the same diagnosis and is the same way so dinner is not very fun. I manage the facade of family dinners for my youngest DD by putting on a podcast or having us sit at the counter and watch a TV show so she won’t be growing up with just grumpy silence as her dinner soundtrack because I’m exhausted from the job of making conversation for half my family.

I’d love a recommendation for good conversation starter cards or even some kind of puzzle thing we could solve out loud during dinner. Anything would be better than dead silence or the TV.

[Anonymous]

By dinner time, my ADHD DS (12) can't really hold a conversation. He tries to make it work for him, though. We have quiz books at home and he'll ask us quiz questions. I keep a pack of Taboo cards in my purse and we'll do those if we're out to eat.

I think he's better during the day with his peers but he just cannot handle dinner conversations in the evening after his stimulant wears off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d love a recommendation for good conversation starter cards

I know people who like Chat Packs for conversation starters.

[Anonymous]

Sort of. It's not the most stimulating or perfectly flowing conversation, and at times it's a bit stilted, but it works most days. It might help that I (mom) also have ADHD and we have practiced mealtime conversation as a specific skill since the kids were toddlers (now 11, 14, and 17 - the younger 2 have diagnosed ADHD).