Would you move to NYC with a household income of 350 to 400K?

[Anonymous]

I've posted several times here about how difficult it has been for us establishing a social community in DC. We genuinely like the DC area but I have a much more cohesive community in NY. We lived in NY before (but we were single then). DC is a much more livable city and we have a very comfortable lifestyle here. I just find myself missing NY more and more and an opportunity has presented itself to move back in the next year or so. We could afford a two bedroom condo in NYC and we would have two kids by then. We would be moving from a 4 bedroom house in DC so it would be a big change. I'm just wondering if anyone else has moved to their desired city and significantly downsized in order to do so. Did you regret your decision?

[Anonymous]

Maybe. Depends on where you'd be in your social circle on 350-400K, and how you'd deal with it. If all your friends had brownstones and HHIs of a mil-plus, I think you'd end up resenting them or feeling insecure. If most of your circle was also living in apartments and living a similar lifestyle, I think it would be quite nice.

Personally, I think if you really love a city where you've spent a lot of time, and you don't love your current city, you should do what you need to be happy. I think NYC could be a really fun place to raise kids - it's so walkable, there's a lot to see and do. But I'd probably rent for awhile in case you decided you'd been idealizing NYC. A city can be a very different place with kids than without.

[Anonymous]

Do you have an HHI of 350 to 400 now in DC? Would it be about the same there?

[Anonymous]

OP - would LOVE to! Good luck in your decision.

[Anonymous]

Our household income is less here (about 300 to 315K) . The 350 to 400K is based on just what my DH would make in NYC. I would like to return to work and would probably make about 150K to 200K but we really don't want to include my salary in the calculation until I have a concrete job offer. Financially, I know it doesn't make much sense because we can get so much more for our money here. But, I just miss the vibrancy of NYC and have found it much easier to connect with people there.

As for our social circle in NYC, some friends make significantly more in the 1 to 2 million dollar range and other friends make about the same or less.

[Anonymous]

Good luck with your decision - grass isn't always greener on the other side.

we moved to DC because we used to live here when we were single and before we had kids. life is completely different now that we have children and can't afford to live downtown like we used to. now I somewhat regret to moving here. our salary is smaller compared to our friends and we just do not have the same social circle.

[Anonymous]

I have visited NYC with my kids a lot after having lived there for many years. I think it would be a really hard place to live with children. I went to the playground and it was entirely nannies, and a lot of them. Spend some time on the Urbanbaby boards and you get a sense of the incredible expense, the pressure to get into "good" preschools, how difficult and expensive it is just to do grocery shopping (add up all those Fresh Direct deliveries). You will spend the large majority of your income on your condo and childcare and won't have much left over to go to dinner, etc. with your friends. I think NYC can be a great place to live if you have a lot of money. Frankly, we make $350-300K here in DC and we aren't living large at all.

[Anonymous]

I think you have your answer.

"Financially, I know it doesn't make much sense because we can get so much more for our money here. But, I just miss the vibrancy of NYC and have found it much easier to connect with people there."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have visited NYC with my kids a lot after having lived there for many years. I think it would be a really hard place to live with children. I went to the playground and it was entirely nannies, and a lot of them. Spend some time on the Urbanbaby boards and you get a sense of the incredible expense, the pressure to get into "good" preschools, how difficult and expensive it is just to do grocery shopping (add up all those Fresh Direct deliveries). You will spend the large majority of your income on your condo and childcare and won't have much left over to go to dinner, etc. with your friends. I think NYC can be a great place to live if you have a lot of money. Frankly, we make $350-300K here in DC and we aren't living large at all.

OP here. How have you adjusted to living in DC? I do agree about the difficulty of living in NYC with young children. I think I've just gotten lucky that the last several times I've visited NY the weather has been perfect, subways were running fine, and there were so many great activities for the entire family. I do wonder what people do when the weather is crappy. At least in DC when it is too hot or cold, you don't have to take the subway--there is always the option to drive to an indoor activity. I do think that I'm idealizing what it would be like to live in NYC perhaps because I'm not entirely happy with my social life here. We don't have to make this move anytime soon. So for now I'm going to work on rectifying the things I don't like about DC (building more of a social network). I also don't love the neighborhood I'm in now so we are exploring different neighborhoods and that might make a huge difference in our quality of life.

[Anonymous]

I'd be less worried about the size of the apartment (kids are adaptable) and more worried about childcare and preschool. It sounds crazy, but that's really not that much money for NYC once you factor in childcare/school costs.

What's the cost of a nanny there, and for how many years will you need one? And then what's the plan for preschool (and later schooling, for that matter)? I'm thinking about stress as much as about money. Personally, we value low-stress lifestyle more than pretty much anything else. So I'd be cautious. But I have other friends who are far more intrepid when it comes to juggling costs and logistics.

P.S. Another option might be to live across the river in NJ, on the PATH. I've heard the newer high rises and condos in Jersey City are full of young families and you'd surely get more for your money.

[Anonymous]

OP, is it possible that you found it easier to connect with people in NYC because you were single and childless then and presumably had more time and opportunity to connect with others? Would you expect to fit into your NYC social circle again, and if so, have those friends' lives changed in the same way yours have (i.e., marriage and children)? Those might be things to consider. Good luck with your decision; I'm sure it's a difficult one.

[Anonymous]

That's what we make here...and I wouldn't want to take it to NYC. Here we have 2 houses in 2 of the best neighborhoods in the area (one we keep as a rental) and very nice quality of life. In NYC--part. Manhattan-- that we'd be stretching it.

NYC is a great city though...and I know many families that do it on much less.

[Anonymous]

OP, like you, dh & I lived in NYC in our younger, childless days and loved it. We moved here to raise our child in a good public school district, where we could actually afford a single family home (HHI not nearly as high as yours), and have the opportunity for our kids to enjoy green parks, woodsy areas, but still a culture-enriched lifestlye.

With that said, I agree with you about the difference b/w New Yorkers and Washingtonians (or maybe it's just Suburban Washingtonians) I find them very clique-y here, not overall friendly or polite, and tend to keep to themselves and their inner circle.

I would feel able to comfortably live in NYC with your HII, yes. But as PP's mentioned, you must factor in other NYC expenses and inconveniences--

Would you be open to the family-friendly areas of Brooklyn or even Queens? I'd prefer to live there than right in The City.

And, you do know about the popular parent board there, don't you? There, you can ask frank questions about living there, and receive VERY frank answers...

[Anonymous]

I would do it in a second if DH could transfer his job there. But I think I would live in the burbs, given that I have a few kids now. Most of my friends have moved out of the city and into Westchester or LI. As I'm sure you already know, many of the burbs in NY are gorgeous, and the quality of life would be good at your HHI. Maybe you wouldn't be living in Greenwich or Darien, but you could live in Rye or Larchmont and be a 25-minute very comfortable train ride from Grand Central Station.

Good luck! Personally I think you should move back!

[Anonymous]

I'm from NY too and can relate to your predicament. I find New Yorkers to be much more friendly than Washingtonians. The city has an energy DC can never match nor should it. However, I think DC grows on you. Which neighborhood are you in now? A more urban place in DC might be better for you and you will find other urban families there. You just need to make a few friends to start and you will see that DC has its advantages. I did.