Fat and depressed but stuck
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Anonymous
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I’m 33 and fat. I’ve been fat since my mid-late 20s when I was diagnosed with PCOS. Overnight, it seemed, I blew up. My boyfriend of 5 years dumped me because of it (I don’t really blame him). This whole scenario crushed me (I still don’t think I’m over it) because I was always known as the pretty girl. My entire life. Girls were jealous of me. All the boys wanted to date me. Suddenly, all the girls made fun of me and all the boys ignored me. I felt invisible. To make matters worse, I started growing facial hair (that’s a whole other post).
I’m 5’8” and was 170 lbs im high school. I blew up to 270 at my heaviest. I’m currently at 225. I have such a hopeless outlook. I feel like “I’m fat, I have PCOS, I’ll always be fat, there’s no use in trying”. How do I get out of this mindset? I have a daughter now. I want to be healthy for her, myself, and my family and show her that I can achieve my goals. I don’t even know where to start. Do I need some sort of therapy? |
Anonymous
| I was once you. The gastric band saved me. But you must commit to change your life. |
Anonymous
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I'm fat and at 230, down from 255. And on Wednesday night I spent about a half hour tweezing out all my facial hair because I was going to see people Thursday. But no girls have ever made fun of me - maybe you're surrounding yourself with the wrong people.
Also, there are guys who like bigger women. Find one if you don't have one now. |
Anonymous
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PCOS is so misunderstood. None of this is your fault or about your character in any way. It’s a medical condition that can only be addressed with:
1. Serious lifestyle changes. Only listen to two people about how to do this: Fiona McCollough in Toronto and PCOS Nutritionist from NZ. Seriously do not take other advice because it’s usually wrong. I’ve met brilliant internists, endos and even functional medicine thyroid specialists and THEY DONT UNDERSTAND PCOS! they can’t even read the labs. They don’t know how to test for early insulin resistance. List goes on and on. The gist of it is: get a cgm and flatten your line as much as possible via fasting and carb control; weight train 3x per week and avoid sleep disruptions by whatever means necessary (might be zero caffeine or real circadian interventions). Get a local doc to do all the testing Fiona needs and have her interpret the labs and advise you on supplementation, inflammation, thyroid etc. If you have a child this is incredibly hard but it is possible. Treat it like you would a chemo regimen. 2. bariatric surgery. I don’t know much about this but it’s what the older women in my PCOS-afflicted family have finally done. So far the results are good. (Ozempic could also be a great option but none of us have tried it) I was also beautiful and now am overweight with hair loss and all the rest of it. But using the strategies in #1 I’m not obese and not on any meds. I conceived and carried two children naturally. Just hoping I can hold on because every day is a challenge |
Anonymous
How do you go about discussing this with your doctor? Was there a BMI requirement? Did your insurance cover anything? |
Anonymous
| Also, does anyone know if I should talk to my PCP or endocrinologist about Ozempic/Wegovy? I actually saw my new PCP (my old one left and I was assigned to him) today about something unrelated and he wouldn’t even renew my Metformin for my PCOS/insulin resistance. He absolutely refused. He he doesn’t know much about PCOS. It was weird because I’ve been on it for YEARS and I’ve never had a problem with a doctor prescribing it ever. |
Anonymous
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Simple solution worked for me: eat less. I did it by intermittent fasting 14 hrs/day. You get used to it prettty quiclkly.
Oh, and from a man's perspective (since I am one), a positive outlook on life will go a long way to making you attractive to men. |
Anonymous
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Ok girl, I know exactly how you are feeling!. I gained quite a bit of weight after college, also 5'8.
I've currently lost 20lbs, and the easiest way for me was to skip lunch. I know people say it isnt the best, but I *cannot* have some tiny ass bird meal and fee satisfied. So I prioritized one GOOD meal and less otherwise. I still have a coffee with cream in the AM, but generally work through lunch and have an early dinner. I also still drink wine and beer, which adds calories, so if you cut out alcohol (or dont drink) you probably have more calories to spend elsewhere, like a light lunch. What sort of activities do you do with your daughter? Can you be more active? Go play soccer or go for walks or carry her for hikes? It sucks going into winter, but as long as you have good clothing it shouldnt be too bad. I would personally not recommend bariatric surgery, unless your only concern is waist size. My mom got it last dec. She has lost 100 lbs which sounds great! But she cannot drink water when she wants to, she cannot eat most things, she is having major digestion issues. It sounds like they dont only shrink your stomach, they cut off your intestine and re-attach it. Anyways, it's been hell for her. Shes happy shes skinny, but I dont love her current diet-obsessed self. She was also much shorter and larger, so IDK if it's even really an option at your size (no research done though). I just would NOT risk it after what Ive seen. Ozempic would be my preference, personally. If your dr wont prescribe, feel free to try another. I asked my dr kind of randomly, and she said shed do it happily, just warned me about the price as it wouldn't be covered by my insurance (so i decided against since im cheap af). anyways. That was just a random ramble of thoughts about this, both myself and my mama. I just turned 34, so I feel with you OP. |
Anonymous
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OP, I think you should consider Wegovy. There are telehealth places that prescribe it if your regular dr wont-and you need a new dr if this is their attitude.
Mine is covered based on BMI and related factor (high cholesterol). I'm losing 1-2 lbs per week, eating normal, healthy meals. Minimal side effects for me. |
Anonymous
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OP because of your PCOS you really need to change your diet. A lot of women with PCOS find success in eating "Keto", or a very low carb diet. Also are you on the pill?
Lastly there's no shame in also getting on Mounjaro or Wegovy. You certainly seem to meet the criteria! |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
I totally would if I were you OP. I’m carrying an extra 20 and wish I could get it prescribed. |
Anonymous
+1. This was me a year ago OP, except my weight gain was antidepressants, instead of PCOS. I’m now 6.5 months into Wegovy. 55 pounds down. 301 to 245. Life changing. I suggest you use a reputable weight loss center that understands PCOS and not use your PCP. I use NOVA physicians wellness, which is Privia’s local centers (multiple locations). INOVA also has one. I’m sure DC and MD do as well. I met with a dietician and Bariatic PA every other week until my dose stabilized. Now it’s once a month. I already had a therapist and I am doing some work with her. I’m transitioning my antidepressants over to Wellbutrin to help with binge eating once I’m in maintenance. Getting regular blood work and down to a 5.1 A1c. Have the PA in place to answer questions about doing, exercise, side effects, etc. I worked with them to develop a diet plan. I regularly get a body composition analysis. I started lifting weights with a personal trainer twice a week and biking. I still have a long way to go, and will probably be at this another 8-12 months before I go into maintenance. But, I feel great about myself. When I look in the mirror, I not longer see a fat, increasingly ugly person. I finally see a person who is thinner, more muscular and healthier than they were a year ago— or 5 years ago. I have so much more energy, strength, balance, flexibility and mobility in general. I’m down from a 3X to an XXL or XL. Yes, a M would be better. But, I’ll be there this time next year. I am working with a supportive team, making great progress and can absolutely do this, and then maintain it. A year ago, I would have said it would be impossible to get to where I am now. I hated myself every day for ten years because I was putting on weight on antidepressants and no amount of willpower worked. Wegovy has been a godsend, because it is making it possible for me to make the changes I have wanted and needed to make for so long. And I didn’t do it all at once. I worked with a dietician on a meal plan. Then I added Wegovy (I didn’t do Wegovy first then diet, because eating processed foods can cause significant GI side effects). Then I started with a trainer. Then, once I weighed less and had more strength, I started cardio. It seemed overwhelming, but I made one change a month, and it worked. And the hardest part was calling the bariatic center, making the appointment and then going to the appointment. After that, I just kept putting on foot in front of the other. You can do this. Just take the first step. |
Anonymous
| Will your doctor prescribe Ozempic or a similar drug? It seems like you would be a good candidate. I don't have PCOS so can't speak to that interaction, but Oz has done wonders for me - down 35 lbs and feel much better mentally and physically. I pay out of pocket but it's been worth it. |
Anonymous
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I have mild PCOS and only recently learned that was probably related to my life long weight struggles. For me eating low (but not no) carb is key. And exercise. Have you ever heard of the Mayo Clinic diet? There are different types based on your guy type and the description of a hungry gut is me to a tee. Protein and a little fat with every meal and allow yourself to get hungry between meals. I have always known this is the most successful way for me to lose weight but recently I’ve been tracking my food consistently and that has helped me lose weight more quickly.
Good luck |