Lawyer rec for high conflict divorce please

[Anonymous]

I’ve been sticking it out for years waiting for the kids to graduate hs so they wouldn’t be used as pawns. My youngest will be done in a year and I need to find a lawyer to help me strategize my exit.

Someone experienced with professionally successful narcissistic spouses that are charming to others but abusive at home is ideal. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

If no kids are involved what is there to be in conflict over? Assets?

You may just need a forensic accountant to make sure nothing is hidden, but otherwise I think the law is pretty straightforward on this unless you have very complicated stuff like a business to split.

[Anonymous]

What jurisdiction?

Also, beware that just because your child has reached age 18 doesn't mean this will be any easier from a kid-related standpoint (even though there might not be any child support to worry about).

[Anonymous]

Northern Virginia, Fairfax County.

He will definitely still try to use the kids as leverage. Probably by withholding college funding and/or painting me as the bad guy. I’ve done everything I could do to protect them though and now I need out.

[Anonymous]

Illona Grenader at vafamilylaw.com

She was hired by a friend of mine and seems to have done a great job for her during contentious custody and financial issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Northern Virginia, Fairfax County.

He will definitely still try to use the kids as leverage. Probably by withholding college funding and/or painting me as the bad guy. I’ve done everything I could do to protect them though and now I need out.

It sounds like you are the bad guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Northern Virginia, Fairfax County.

He will definitely still try to use the kids as leverage. Probably by withholding college funding and/or painting me as the bad guy. I’ve done everything I could do to protect them though and now I need out.

It sounds like you are the bad guy.

Troll. Ignore.

[Anonymous]

Christian Latham at Bean Kinney Korman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Northern Virginia, Fairfax County.

He will definitely still try to use the kids as leverage. Probably by withholding college funding and/or painting me as the bad guy. I’ve done everything I could do to protect them though and now I need out.

Rachel Virk.

Just so you know, college payments it not really something that gets negotiated in a divorce decree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Northern Virginia, Fairfax County.

He will definitely still try to use the kids as leverage. Probably by withholding college funding and/or painting me as the bad guy. I’ve done everything I could do to protect them though and now I need out.

Rachel Virk.

Just so you know, college payments it not really something that gets negotiated in a divorce decree.

It can be negotiated voluntarily - it’s in mine. You can create a binding financial agreement for anything. Eg OP may agree to give up something in return for funding a 529. There should also be an agreement for both parents to participate in the financial aide process and file the paperwork.

[Anonymous]

Try mediation if possible. And use it as leverage because the best deal if he could would be through mediation. And also both you will walk away with more money. I used a divorce lawyer for a contested divorce and my savings went from $95k to 5k and my wives from 95k to 13k. And we both came out worse off….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Try mediation if possible. And use it as leverage because the best deal if he could would be through mediation. And also both you will walk away with more money. I used a divorce lawyer for a contested divorce and my savings went from $95k to 5k and my wives from 95k to 13k. And we both came out worse off….

Dude, how many wives did you have?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Northern Virginia, Fairfax County.

He will definitely still try to use the kids as leverage. Probably by withholding college funding and/or painting me as the bad guy. I’ve done everything I could do to protect them though and now I need out.

It sounds like you are the bad guy.

Troll. Ignore.

Eh... bailing on marriage and strategizing how to get money from your financially successful spouse...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Try mediation if possible. And use it as leverage because the best deal if he could would be through mediation. And also both you will walk away with more money. I used a divorce lawyer for a contested divorce and my savings went from $95k to 5k and my wives from 95k to 13k. And we both came out worse off….

True, but I spent $50k trying to reach a settlement plus $20k on failed mediation and still had to litigate ($100k). If you have a truly unreasonable spouse, it might be better to go straight to litigation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try mediation if possible. And use it as leverage because the best deal if he could would be through mediation. And also both you will walk away with more money. I used a divorce lawyer for a contested divorce and my savings went from $95k to 5k and my wives from 95k to 13k. And we both came out worse off….

True, but I spent $50k trying to reach a settlement plus $20k on failed mediation and still had to litigate ($100k). If you have a truly unreasonable spouse, it might be better to go straight to litigation.

+1.