Post-divorce Relationships 101

[Anonymous]

What do I need to know? What is normal? What are some red flags?

I’m 46f, generally attractive and in-shape. Two kids, middle school age, that I have share 50/50. I’m interested in conversation and romance, but not in anything serious. My marriage was incredibly toxic and I want to have some fun again. But, it’s been so long!

[Anonymous]

Communicate your wants and needs.

Any guy who is at all cavalier about STIs, testing, showing you his results etc is a red flag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do I need to know? What is normal? What are some red flags?

I’m 46f, generally attractive and in-shape. Two kids, middle school age, that I have share 50/50. I’m interested in conversation and romance, but not in anything serious. My marriage was incredibly toxic and I want to have some fun again. But, it’s been so long!

So, you will do OLD. And you will phuck most of the men you meet at first, like on the first date. Everyone does this. You'll do it for a while -- maybe six months -- and then decide you've gotten it out of your system and you want a steady partner. And then you'll be basically hunting unicorns.

Also, people don't really use condoms. Just beware.

Have fun.

[Anonymous]

I was in your shoes. I went on on a handful of dates off Bumble. Most were fun, some were better than others. I did drinks or coffee dates.

I was up front in my bio about what I was looking for. And I was very selective about who I swiped on, based on what they marked on their profile.

Went out on a third date only with one of them. Then a fourth, and then we were physically intimate.

I was looking for physical intimacy, but also some emotional and intellectual intimacy. I just am never getting married or living with someone again.

What I have with this man is great. Regular fun and it’s been great to get to know someone like this again. And the sex has been the best in my life. We both have busy lives (our custody schedules also don’t line up super great), but we see each other once or twice a week, and text or talk ever day).

[Anonymous]

I’ve only been with guys willing to use condoms. No guy has refused or seemed surprised by the request.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do I need to know? What is normal? What are some red flags?

I’m 46f, generally attractive and in-shape. Two kids, middle school age, that I have share 50/50. I’m interested in conversation and romance, but not in anything serious. My marriage was incredibly toxic and I want to have some fun again. But, it’s been so long!

So, you will do OLD. And you will phuck most of the men you meet at first, like on the first date. Everyone does this. You'll do it for a while -- maybe six months -- and then decide you've gotten it out of your system and you want a steady partner. And then you'll be basically hunting unicorns.

Also, people don't really use condoms. Just beware.

Have fun.

Take this post with a HUGE grain of salt. Plenty of people don't duck on the first date. Plenty of people use condoms and don't do oral until there's established trust. There are all kinds of people out there.

Also, aside from the guys who duck anything that moves and are well practiced, a lot have trouble with performance at first. The combo of age/booze/nerves/condom can be a tough one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve only been with guys willing to use condoms. No guy has refused or seemed surprised by the request.

I have no idea why anybody would go without condoms before testing. Seriously? Even when dating in my 20s, I was not looking for an STD or pregnancy issues to develop. My life has enough challenges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in your shoes. I went on on a handful of dates off Bumble. Most were fun, some were better than others. I did drinks or coffee dates.

I was up front in my bio about what I was looking for. And I was very selective about who I swiped on, based on what they marked on their profile.

Went out on a third date only with one of them. Then a fourth, and then we were physically intimate.

I was looking for physical intimacy, but also some emotional and intellectual intimacy. I just am never getting married or living with someone again.

What I have with this man is great. Regular fun and it’s been great to get to know someone like this again. And the sex has been the best in my life. We both have busy lives (our custody schedules also don’t line up super great), but we see each other once or twice a week, and text or talk ever day).

This sounds so perfect! I'm older, but old guys just don't do it for me. But I refuse to lie about my age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in your shoes. I went on on a handful of dates off Bumble. Most were fun, some were better than others. I did drinks or coffee dates.

I was up front in my bio about what I was looking for. And I was very selective about who I swiped on, based on what they marked on their profile.

Went out on a third date only with one of them. Then a fourth, and then we were physically intimate.

I was looking for physical intimacy, but also some emotional and intellectual intimacy. I just am never getting married or living with someone again.

What I have with this man is great. Regular fun and it’s been great to get to know someone like this again. And the sex has been the best in my life. We both have busy lives (our custody schedules also don’t line up super great), but we see each other once or twice a week, and text or talk ever day).

This sounds so perfect! I'm older, but old guys just don't do it for me. But I refuse to lie about my age.

You can do the cougar route

Just know that probably 85% of the men on OLD are married

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do I need to know? What is normal? What are some red flags?

I’m 46f, generally attractive and in-shape. Two kids, middle school age, that I have share 50/50. I’m interested in conversation and romance, but not in anything serious. My marriage was incredibly toxic and I want to have some fun again. But, it’s been so long!

So, you will do OLD. And you will phuck most of the men you meet at first, like on the first date. Everyone does this. You'll do it for a while -- maybe six months -- and then decide you've gotten it out of your system and you want a steady partner. And then you'll be basically hunting unicorns.

Also, people don't really use condoms. Just beware.

Have fun.

Gross

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do I need to know? What is normal? What are some red flags?

I’m 46f, generally attractive and in-shape. Two kids, middle school age, that I have share 50/50. I’m interested in conversation and romance, but not in anything serious. My marriage was incredibly toxic and I want to have some fun again. But, it’s been so long!

So, you will do OLD. And you will phuck most of the men you meet at first, like on the first date. Everyone does this. You'll do it for a while -- maybe six months -- and then decide you've gotten it out of your system and you want a steady partner. And then you'll be basically hunting unicorns.

Also, people don't really use condoms. Just beware.

Have fun.

um … no. not sure what planet you are living on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do I need to know? What is normal? What are some red flags?

I’m 46f, generally attractive and in-shape. Two kids, middle school age, that I have share 50/50. I’m interested in conversation and romance, but not in anything serious. My marriage was incredibly toxic and I want to have some fun again. But, it’s been so long!

So, you will do OLD. And you will phuck most of the men you meet at first, like on the first date. Everyone does this. You'll do it for a while -- maybe six months -- and then decide you've gotten it out of your system and you want a steady partner. And then you'll be basically hunting unicorns.

Also, people don't really use condoms. Just beware.

Have fun.

Take this post with a HUGE grain of salt. Plenty of people don't duck on the first date. Plenty of people use condoms and don't do oral until there's established trust. There are all kinds of people out there.

Also, aside from the guys who duck anything that moves and are well practiced, a lot have trouble with performance at first. The combo of age/booze/nerves/condom can be a tough one.

Yea I didn't have sex on the first date. Smart guys will want to make sure they're not being catfished and just want to meet first. Some are actually gentleman.

I will say it's typical to be asked what you're looking for in a chat or first date, so have an answer. Be prepared for lots of people wanting casual.

Even though I wasn't entirely sure what I wanted I quickly figured out that casual wasn't for me of sex was involved and only dated people who wanted a relationship. I didn't do oral with anyone or have sex without a condom until I was in one. I'm in one now, I guess he's a unicorn because we're in love. I separated almost 2 years ago, had a fling with an old flame for awhile, started on OLD 1 years ago and met my boyfriend 6 months ago.

[Anonymous]

One more thing - at 40 I was pleasantly surprised how desirable I am for men of all ages. I was turning young guys down - went on a date with a 29 year old by accident. Had to change my OLD settings because I started at 10 years plus/minus and found I preferred a tighter age range.

[Anonymous]

What about younger vs older men? My ex was exactly my age, so are there differences between Gen X’rs and Millennials?

I’m excited, but nervous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve only been with guys willing to use condoms. No guy has refused or seemed surprised by the request.

This. And if a guy did object, I would stop dating him immediately. Very bad sign.