What do people take long to pay someone back?

[Anonymous]

I organize group activities for my DS teams/friends. I enjoy doing it and can afford to pay up front. I usually send an idea and ask who is interested and include the cost per person. Once I have a head count, I get the item. I let families know final cost and ask them to send money and then “crickets…” Eventually they pay, but why does it take so long? I hate hounding people! WWYD? Maybe I’ll just stop organizing…

[Anonymous]

I feel you. I begged my DH not to sign up for treasurer for this reason.

Honestly, you need to run a list of who has paid and not paid on the Team Snap group chat. If you call people out in front of the whole team, they will pay more quickly. Asking people individually will never work.

[Anonymous]

Because they forget and they’re not driven by social anxiety to pay first thing.

I am well aware that “virtues” are mostly just a desire to be seen as a good person. Which is different from actually being a good person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Because they forget and they’re not driven by social anxiety to pay first thing.

I am well aware that “virtues” are mostly just a desire to be seen as a good person. Which is different from actually being a good person.

What? Not paying someone back promptly is social anxiety? Let me guess, you're also the person who's constantly late to things because of "social anxiety." What an absurd excuse.

Not paying someone back and being routinely late to things, are about lack of respect for others. Period.

[Anonymous]

There are always free riders.

[Anonymous]

They're hoping you will forget/be too reticent to bring it up.

[Anonymous]

Because I assigned that task to my H.

[Anonymous]

People just don't care as much as you do. You can either accept it or change how you collect the money. Require people to pay you before you buy the tickets or make reservations etc. or make them buy their own tickets etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Because they forget and they’re not driven by social anxiety to pay first thing.

I am well aware that “virtues” are mostly just a desire to be seen as a good person. Which is different from actually being a good person.

What? Not paying someone back promptly is social anxiety? Let me guess, you're also the person who's constantly late to things because of "social anxiety." What an absurd excuse.

Not paying someone back and being routinely late to things, are about lack of respect for others. Period.

Ha ha that’s a good one.

It’s not “social anxiety.” It’s politeness.

[Anonymous]

You have to make repayment seamless and easy. I usually pay people quickly but when I don't it's because there's something difficult about it. Like they need it in cash and I never have cash, so now I need to go to the ATM which I rarely do. Whereas if they have Venmo I would have repaid them instantly.

I've also delayed repayment because someone assumed something they shouldn't have. Like once we agreed to go to a sporting event with another family and I replied literally with "We are in as long as tix aren't more than $40 per person" because that's what I was willing to spend. They bought tickets and said "sorry, we went with the $80 seats because we wanted to be closer, hope that's okay!" It wasn't okay and I delayed repayment because I was debating just saying we couldn't go, but my kid already knew about it and was excited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Because they forget and they’re not driven by social anxiety to pay first thing.

I am well aware that “virtues” are mostly just a desire to be seen as a good person. Which is different from actually being a good person.

What? Not paying someone back promptly is social anxiety? Let me guess, you're also the person who's constantly late to things because of "social anxiety." What an absurd excuse.

Not paying someone back and being routinely late to things, are about lack of respect for others. Period.

PP you replied to.
My social anxiety and desire to please make me prompt with payments. I am always on time to events.

But I recognize this about myself - that it's anxiety. I'm not better than the folks who pay late and arrive late to things. Some of us are too quick to make snap judgments about others, and it leads to unnecessary misunderstandings and resentment.

That was my point, which flew WAY over your head.

[Anonymous]

How are people repaying you? I've been on both sides of this, as the person awaiting payment and the person forgetting. Venmo has helped eliminate a lot of it. I've noticed payments are almost immediate (on both ends) when using Venmo.

[Anonymous]

How do you want them to pay you?
Last four times I tried to pay, I ran into difficulties. I sent money to a wrong person, needed a code, didn't have a person's phone number, was simply denied by Citi and Citi didn't know why.
I usually copy/pasted the name/email and it still wasn't enough to make it to the right person.
The Citi had a limit but I wasn't over it. Then they claimed I needed to add the person as a bill I pay every month.
Took days to send money to the right people. I like to pay right away so I can forget about it.

[Anonymous]

In my circle, the norm is you have a few days to pay up. As long as you pay within 3-4 days of getting the invoice, it's all good.

But I know it's not the norm for everyone. I once borrowed a few dollars from my summer job intern coordinator b/c I forgot my wallet that day. I fully intended to pay him back the next day, but he beat me to it by asking for the money back as soon as he saw me, before I even got my "Good morning" out. That was a little too extreme in my book.

I like to give ppl a little grace. After all, these are ppl who I expect to interact with in the future, so there's no reason they would stiff me. Some might forget and need a little reminder. But I agree with you, OP, that there are some weirdos out there that just don't care.

[Anonymous]

I’m another disorganized person really helped by Venmo, Zelle etc. If I can scan a thing or click a link I’m even better.