I hate being short of breath in front of other people

[Anonymous]

HUGE reason I don't exercise. Even when I was a healthy weight, I hated running because I was always out of shape and gasping for air. Now I'm a size 20 and am winded long before athletic DH (though I can forever at a slower pace). How can I get over this? I constantly decline walks and hiking trips because of it, but there are too many places I don't feel comfortable walking alone, so I just...sit.

[Anonymous]

You have to stop caring about what you think other people think.

So what if you’re out of breath? Everybody is. I know I am when I go for a walk or walk up the steep hill because I’m also out of shape.

Remember that people are more involved and absorbed in what they are doing to care about what you’re doing. And if it’s other people who are out exercising, they understand being out of breath. So go out and enjoy your walk and don’t even give a thought to anybody else or what you think they’re thinking.

[Anonymous]

I empathize and feel exactly the same way.

[Anonymous]

I have ran many many races, including 2 marathons. I sound like I’m out of breath and having some sort of asthma attack from the first mile through the last. It’s just the way I am. Don’t worry what others think - you’re not alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have to stop caring about what you think other people think.

So what if you’re out of breath? Everybody is. I know I am when I go for a walk or walk up the steep hill because I’m also out of shape.

Remember that people are more involved and absorbed in what they are doing to care about what you’re doing. And if it’s other people who are out exercising, they understand being out of breath. So go out and enjoy your walk and don’t even give a thought to anybody else or what you think they’re thinking.

Actually, my 11 year old calls me out on it, because SHE'S not. It's humiliating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:HUGE reason I don't exercise. Even when I was a healthy weight, I hated running because I was always out of shape and gasping for air. Now I'm a size 20 and am winded long before athletic DH (though I can forever at a slower pace). How can I get over this? I constantly decline walks and hiking trips because of it, but there are too many places I don't feel comfortable walking alone, so I just...sit.

I honestly don't mean this to be mean, but just sitting rather than moving around probably contributed to your being a size 20. I am always super impressed and inspired by the larger people I see running! I understand being self-conscious--I'm a "regular size" but a slow runner, and my face gets insanely red when I run. But frankly who cares what some random person thinks?! I'm doing this for me.

There was a really great article in the Times about a bigger guy who wants to make running for everyone: https://www.nytimes.com/2023/06/02/well/move/martinus-evans-slow-af-run-club.html

Even if you don't run again, please don't be self-conscious about walking and hiking. Screw anyone who judges you.

[Anonymous]

My best friend is a marathon runner and very fit but has mild exercise-induced asthma so she can get short of breath sometimes. I am a long-distance cyclist and get short of breath sometimes when riding after COVID/RSV/whatever respiratory crud I catch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to stop caring about what you think other people think.

So what if you’re out of breath? Everybody is. I know I am when I go for a walk or walk up the steep hill because I’m also out of shape.

Remember that people are more involved and absorbed in what they are doing to care about what you’re doing. And if it’s other people who are out exercising, they understand being out of breath. So go out and enjoy your walk and don’t even give a thought to anybody else or what you think they’re thinking.

Actually, my 11 year old calls me out on it, because SHE'S not. It's humiliating.

Then deal with your 11 year olds behavior. Stop making excuses OP. Or start going to the gym to improve your health.

[Anonymous]

Honestly I wouldn't notice because I'm probably huffing and puffing myself. If I noticed, I'd probably just think damn they're getting after it and hustling!

[Anonymous]

What's wrong with "going forever at a slow pace"? That is endurance and something most people don't have. Not everything has to be hand on knees hard, and if you're a runner, it should be 80/20 easy/hard slow/fast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's wrong with "going forever at a slow pace"? That is endurance and something most people don't have. Not everything has to be hand on knees hard, and if you're a runner, it should be 80/20 easy/hard slow/fast.

Takes too long. Most people don't have that kind of free time.

[Anonymous]

I might glance in the direction of a heavy breather, someone with a red face, a person sweating a lot, another whose hair is all frazzled, someone in head to toe neon pink. I just glance, look away and the thought of them goes right out of my head. I don't think people care like you think they do. We are all in our own heads/ schedules/ worries. You can start by going to low traffic trails and use it as a mental health practice to conquer a fear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I might glance in the direction of a heavy breather, someone with a red face, a person sweating a lot, another whose hair is all frazzled, someone in head to toe neon pink. I just glance, look away and the thought of them goes right out of my head. I don't think people care like you think they do. We are all in our own heads/ schedules/ worries. You can start by going to low traffic trails and use it as a mental health practice to conquer a fear.

What about DH, though? He's the one I'm really afraid to be out of breath in front of. I don't do solo low-traffic trails.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to stop caring about what you think other people think.

So what if you’re out of breath? Everybody is. I know I am when I go for a walk or walk up the steep hill because I’m also out of shape.

Remember that people are more involved and absorbed in what they are doing to care about what you’re doing. And if it’s other people who are out exercising, they understand being out of breath. So go out and enjoy your walk and don’t even give a thought to anybody else or what you think they’re thinking.

Actually, my 11 year old calls me out on it, because SHE'S not. It's humiliating.

I’m not sure if you are OP. But even if you’re not, you should address your 11 year olds comments head on and not like them humiliate you. They are kids! Straight out tell them they are being rude and not encouraging. Or don’t take them with you. Personally, if that was my kid, I would tell them what they’re doing is rude and it’s not nice. Ask them if they want you to point out every time they do something embarrassing, and then do it. Like a pp said, don’t make excuses for why you don’t walk for exercise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I might glance in the direction of a heavy breather, someone with a red face, a person sweating a lot, another whose hair is all frazzled, someone in head to toe neon pink. I just glance, look away and the thought of them goes right out of my head. I don't think people care like you think they do. We are all in our own heads/ schedules/ worries. You can start by going to low traffic trails and use it as a mental health practice to conquer a fear.

What about DH, though? He's the one I'm really afraid to be out of breath in front of. I don't do solo low-traffic trails.

Why are you afraid to be out of breath in front of him? Are you worried he will criticize you? If so, that's a bigger problem. If not, he probably knows your fitness level isn't so great, and will just be happy to be spending time with you outdoors. He loves you.