Is there a way to have this conversation?

[Anonymous]

I’m in the last round of a job interview that is 4d a week in office. I’m hybrid at my current role but it’s very relaxed. I’ve realized that the 4 full days a week in office is proving a stumbling block for me for multiple reasons. Is it totally inappropriate to ask if there’s flex to make it fewer? Or no?

[Anonymous]

You can ask. They can say no. If everyone else is going in 4x week and you don’t want to then it doesn’t sound like a good fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can ask. They can say no. If everyone else is going in 4x week and you don’t want to then it doesn’t sound like a good fit.

Yes this is my gut. If it’s important enough for them to insist then it must be culturally important to them so it feels weird to push on it.

[Anonymous]

You will only be able to ask for this now - do it b/c it seems like you know you need it. If they won't give it to you, I would pass on this job b/c you will be setting yourself up to fail.

[Anonymous]

I wait to ask these things until after the offer. Is that wrong?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wait to ask these things until after the offer. Is that wrong?

I do this too.

[Anonymous]

Wait until the offer and let them know the issues that keeping you from accepting - this one included.

[Anonymous]

I works never accept a 4 day a eeek in office job unless it were within 2 miles of my house.

[Anonymous]

Op - I have the offer and they seem to want me.
I feel bad bc they said all along that this was the case. But now that it’s coming to the crunch I find it is getting in the way of my accepting the offer, hence why it feels like a conversation. But then weird for them to have to explain ‘oh so and so doesn’t come in as often’ if they’ve died on the hill with others

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op - I have the offer and they seem to want me.
I feel bad bc they said all along that this was the case. But now that it’s coming to the crunch I find it is getting in the way of my accepting the offer, hence why it feels like a conversation. But then weird for them to have to explain ‘oh so and so doesn’t come in as often’ if they’ve died on the hill with others

They told you it was four days a week. It might be less for others who are current high performers but you need to prove yourself. If four days is unacceptable find another job. Tell them you’d love to take the job but the four day requirement doesn’t work for you. Be very gracious and they might bend. If they don’t bend, still be gracious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op - I have the offer and they seem to want me.
I feel bad bc they said all along that this was the case. But now that it’s coming to the crunch I find it is getting in the way of my accepting the offer, hence why it feels like a conversation. But then weird for them to have to explain ‘oh so and so doesn’t come in as often’ if they’ve died on the hill with others

It may cause them to rethink dying on that hill—which would be a good thing.

I think you can say “I know that this is an issue the team feels strongly about, and I regret that it wasn’t clear to me until
this stage that it is also something I feel strongly about—enough that I can’t accept the offer if this is inflexible. But if it is, I would very much like to reach a workable agreement on it as part of my total package. Please let me know if that is worth discussion from your point of view.”

[Anonymous]

They have been clear with you. If you can't do it don't accept.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I works never accept a 4 day a eeek in office job unless it were within 2 miles of my house.

That attitude is the difference between wanting a career versus having a job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I works never accept a 4 day a eeek in office job unless it were within 2 miles of my house.

That attitude is the difference between wanting a career versus having a job.

Op - beg to differ - as someone who has a very senior job and is considering another v senior job.
You advance further in your career if your job actually works for you. And the higher a performer you are - the less you need and the more you resent - performative oversight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They have been clear with you. If you can't do it don't accept.

What a waste to get all this way and never make the ask! You should definitely at least ask for more flexibility.