rapid weight gain in a teen
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Anonymous
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Please be kind. This is hard for me.
My daughter is 17 and has been gaining weight at a fairly rapid clip this past year. I don't know what she actually weighs (as we don't even own a scale---although I just bought one to be shipped from Amazon). However, she continues to grow out of her clothing. She's 5'4" and was probably a size 6 last fall. So completely healthy. Grew to a size 8 during winter (again- healthy) but now she's a 10-12. She's probably gained 30-40 pounds over the course of a year, including 10 of these within the past 3 months. Remember she's 5'4 on a good day so at a women's size 12 (in 2023 sizing) she's overweight by look and by BMI. I'm not sure exactly what is going on. During the summer she worked an active job at a restaurant but only 6 hour shifts so she wasn't given a meal break and the place held a very strict "no eating on the job" policy with zero opportunity for sneaking food (much to the chagrin of all the teens that worked there). When she wasn't at work, she was generally at home or on the beach. (the job was at the beach). I lived with her (telecommuting for the summer) and bought all the food. I wasn't monitoring her food at the time but looking back now, I can't think of how she could have been sneaking extra food--i.e. I saw no evidence of it. I also can't imagine why she would sneak food as we've never given her (or our other kids) any reason to sneak food (food is sort of a neutral, healthy thing in our house--no dieting, no binging, no restricting, kind of a non-event if that makes sense). Now she's back in school, playing soccer for the varsity team and continuing to gain weight. I know because she's been trying on her fall clothing (instead of summer shorts, etc) and nothing fits so we've been buying new things (which I'm happy to do as a short term fix--the last thing I want is for her to feel worse about herself because she has no clothing). Again, I really don't see any pattern of her overeating, drinking alcohol (never) or any other way she would be consuming extra calories outside of 3 pretty modest sized meals a day. She goes to a busy school and comes home right after soccer (doesn't stop to buy food or candy or anything like that---although I've been wracking my brain about whether this could be going on) I am just so confused and I hurt for her. She's short, pretty stocky and I guess has been cursed with a really crappy metabolism. I really don't care about weight but it also worries me to see her gain it in such rapid fashion. She's basically gone from a 6 to 8 to 10 to 12 in a year. I've made an appointment with her pediatrician so we'll see what she says but it's not for another few weeks as it's officially her annual exam and not a "problem visit" (so we had to wait). In terms of what I've said to her? Nothing. If I say something it will be implying that there is something wrong with her. The last thing I want to do is tear down her self confidence. But I'm worried about this. I'm worried about her health. My husband was very much in the camp of "she's fine" until the past week or so when he admitted, "yes, she's getting heavy". Neither of us know what to say or do. It's also kind of crept up on us. It's not like one evaluate's their kid's weight with any daily regularity. More like you go through your days and never think about what size your kid is (or your spouse or yourself for that matter) until one day you think, "huh, she's gained some weight.". It is definitely insidious. We'll see what the doctor says. What I'm most interested in is seeing what her weight gain has been since her last appointment. I've thought about emailing the physician before the appointment but I'm not sure. I guess I'd rather my daughter hear about this from her doctor (than me) but it feels so humiliating in it's own way (your doctor has to tell you to lose weight as a teenager?) UGH. I hate this. Any thoughts or kind words? I'm sure I'll be crucified from all angles. Some will say I should say nothing and she's fine as she is. Some will say I should have stepped in a year ago. Both will say I suck. I know you can't win with weight posts on this board. Lastly--is it possible that she might have metabolic syndrome or insulin resistance? I really know very little about either. It's just don't know what's going on and I'm fearful for winter when her activity level drops (soccer ends). She has two siblings (older and younger) and both are built like string beans (which doesn't make this any easier). |
Anonymous
| Has she become much less active? Or really changed her eating habits? I would recommend seeing an endocrinologist. |
Anonymous
| Your post was long and I only skimmed it, but has she started any meds? Many cause weight gain. |
Anonymous
| Any PCOS symptoms? |
Anonymous
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She's a varsity athlete who lives with you, shows no signs of unhealthy or too-frequent eating, yet has gone up six sizes in a year? Yeah, I get why you're concerned. If her dietary and fitness routines really haven't changed, then this is potentially flagging a health issue.
If she were suddenly falling asleep a lot during the daytime, or if she were losing weight at a rapid and alarming rate, would you speak to her about those things? How would you speak to her about them? Could you use the same approach when it's about another possible red flag for health? I understand if, due to your own history or hers, you feel there's no benign, non-harmful way to address her weight gain. In that case, is there a way you can send a message to her pediatrician expressing your concerns? If so, please ALSO share that you have not raised the issue with your daughter -- the doctor will need to know that. But you can ask the doctor to consider whether certain labs might be called for to rule out thyroid issues, etc. |
Anonymous
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Oh, and one more thought: is she on hormonal birth control? Every time I've taken it (starting in my teens), I just started piling on weight. I never stopped gaining until I discontinued, which was unfortunate, because HBC did help my cramps.
If indeed she is on HBC, the Skyla IUD could be another option. It's very small, with a very very low dose of progesterone, and approved for use in teenage girls. |
Anonymous
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She’s 17, not 7. You need to have a conversation about it. This isn’t a situation where you can say the wrong thing and ruin everything.
Her body may just be different from yours. There’s nothing she can’t do as a size 12, including play sports. Or there’s something wrong medically and/or eating-wise. It’s 99.5% out of your hands. She’s nearly an adult and it’s her body. So just have a conversation about it and wrap your head around it being mostly out of your control for more than one reason. |
Anonymous
| Did she start taking birth control? Or any other meds? Honestly sounds like that or a medical issue. |
Anonymous
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My daughter was purchasing a lot of junk food at school. We only noticed it when we went to load her her lunch card and saw what she was buying. She was eating healthily at home with the odd treat but was consuming a lot of extra calories per day at school with muffins etc.
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Anonymous
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I was thinking along the same as PPs who have asked about PCOS and hormonal birth control.
Where is her weight mainly accumulating? PCOS tends to be in the abdomen. |
Anonymous
Agree. My DD also gained a lot of weight in the last year. She buys junk food on her way home from school or before after school activities. Then she eats seconds at dinner and finishes off with a huge bowl of fruit. It’s very hard, OP. I serve healthy food at home, but we only have so much control. |
Anonymous
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I overindulged in junk food for a straight 6 or 8 years in my 40s (even eating junky meals) to go from a size 6 to a size 12 at 5'4. I didn't gain 30 pounds in a year and I was eating complete crap and tons of calories. I really don't think it's food related.
Agree with PPs that it could be PCOS hormonal BC, or something else. It is not from "sneaking" a cookie or a frappuccino. |
Anonymous
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OP here. She doesn't take any medications (no birth control pills).
I really don't think she's buying snacks or food on a regular basis. She goes to a private school and they don't sell snacks and she doesn't walk anywhere to buy junk food. I've definitely thought about this possibility--but I'm just not seeing any evidence of it (no wrappers, no receipts, no charges on her card.) Plus we don't shame food--we're not a no-junk household (although recently I've been cutting way back) so there's no reason she would go to great lengths to hide junk food. |
Anonymous
| It's not complicated if you child loses or gains a lot of weight in a short period of time you see a doctor. |
Anonymous
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It's likely PCOS, have her see an endocrinologist. Your post is oddly focused on sneaking food and should be focused on health issues that may be contributing.
She may have gotten birth control pills that you don't know about, say from PP. Switching pills to OTC led to the kind of rapid weight gain you describe. Is she vegetarian or vegan? High starch diet even if "healthy?" That is when I was diagnosed with PCOS. Any skin tags or symptoms like this? https://www.thehealthy.com/diabetes/type-2-diabetes/insulin-resistance-symptoms/ |