4y/o will not stop whine crying
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Anonymous
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He’s my second but my first was not nearly as whiny and I don’t know how to fix it. It’s not one thing in particular but so, so many minor things that set him off. I’ve tried coddling, telling him firmly and sternly to stop, ignoring it after initially trying to address whatever the source of the whining is. The screeching whining and crying theatrics feel unending.
No special needs, currently in preschool and enjoying it, a very sweet and wonderful child who I love very much but what is the deal and what can I do?? |
Anonymous
| I think it's fair to him to say that you have had enough of the noise and if he can't stop he needs to be in a different room with the door closed. Or you need to be in a different room with the door closed. Or wear earplugs. |
Anonymous
| "I don't understand you when you use that voice." |
Anonymous
Ha ha. This. |
Anonymous
Has that worked on anyone? Ignore whining and engage when they speak in calm tone. |
Anonymous
| We use 1-2-3 Magic. We count whining, if it doesn’t stop, breaktime. |
Anonymous
| ear infection |
Anonymous
Original PP. Yes, it worked. If I completely ignored, she would just repeat the annoying version louder and louder 100x. Better to tell her what she needs to do to be successful and then positively reinforce that. |
Anonymous
This worked for us. I'd say it playfully, like "What? Oh man, I feel like I can almost understand what you saying, but it's just not coming through. Something about wanting to play with Larla? Try it again in your big kid voice." |
Anonymous
This enrages my child, so then anxiety plus fury. Not awesome. |
Anonymous
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He's not sleeping well.
So everything becomes a slog for him including articulating his words and keeping it together. And he's too tired for that hence the crying and whining. |
Anonymous
| Extrovert? Take the kid to a doctor |
Anonymous
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Lesson in empathy. Teach him your experience and perspective. Teach other people's possible experiences and perspectives of him. Teach him why this is undesirable. Teach him the possibilities of healthy communication for his needs.
Make light of it and have family whine time where you set a timer and whine at each other for 5 minutes everyday for a month. Give him instructions of what to do instead when he feels like whining. Give him a period of reminders - oh that sounded like whining please use your clear voice. |
Anonymous
Same. And same result with ignoring. A more straightforward version (without pretending you don't understand) is to tell him that it's hard to listen to someone whining like that, and that while you are sorry he is upset, it would be easier to listen and problem solve if he could do it without whining. My DD would tell me she couldn't help it ("I caaaaan't heeeeeeelp iiiiiiiit!!") but I'd still notice a less whiny voice right away. And with time and coaching, she learned to do it less. We gave her scripts for certain triggers that she used to always whine over (the big one was "Iiiiii'm huuuuuungryyyyy" which has become "can I have a snack?" or "is dinner soon?"). We also suggested proactive things she could do when she was feeling whiny to meet her own needs. We have pretty strict screentime rules, but she can listen to podcasts whenever she wants, so we taught her how to bring those up on her own and now we hear less about how bored she is. Also encouraged her to get her own snacks from a designated "anytime" snack shelf (dried fruit and nuts). It was a process but our extremely whiny 4 yr old is now a not-very-whiny 6 yr old (still has her moments but they are infrequent). |
Anonymous
| He needs more sleep. Maybe because of a growth spurt or just what he needs. Put him to bed by 7pm or earlier |