Do you have a diverse group of friends?

[Anonymous]

I try really hard not to make comparisons between NYC and DC because I want to appreciate DC for itself and not constantly compare it to other places. But, I really do miss the diverse group of close friendships I had in NYC. These friendships developed organically--I didn't make a conscious effort to have friends from across the world but it happened and I really felt it enriched me. I am a member of a minority myself and I felt so at ease in NY. DC is certainly not lacking for diversity, I love that there are people from all over the world here. However, DC just seems much more segregated to me. It seems like people's social circle here is often reflective of their race.

I have been to a number of parties with a few of my black friends and literally every single person in the room is black. Likewise, I have been to many other parties and everyone there is white. How is this possible? The majority of both sets of friends are in the same socio-economic class. I really just started noticing it because it is in such stark contrast to my interactions in NYC. I once hosted a cocktail party here where I had a number of out of town friends attend and many of my DC friends commented on how amazed they were that I had such a diverse group of friends (this wasn't intended as a negative comment just an observation).

Anyway, I'm really just curious as to whether the lack of diversity I've encountered in social circles here is an aberration or whether other people have had similar experiences. I have a young DS and I really do not want him to be in a socially segregated environment

[Anonymous]

My current circle of friends, for better or worse, tend to come from work or DC's school. I work at a law firm and DC goes to a Cathedral School. So everyone is pretty cookie-cutter. Same interests. Same backgrounds. Same life experiences. And with the exception of an Asian-American, all white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My current circle of friends, for better or worse, tend to come from work or DC's school. I work at a law firm and DC goes to a Cathedral School. So everyone is pretty cookie-cutter. Same interests. Same backgrounds. Same life experiences. And with the exception of an Asian-American, all white.

Thanks for your honesty. I am just starting to get very concerned that this is going to be the typical DC experience and it is really not what I want for my children. Everyone touts the diversity in the private schools here but it seems like socially things are still segregated.

[Anonymous]

That's why I like to say that the US is more like a salad bowl and not a melting pot.
You guys can all be in the same country but in no way you mix up how you should.

[Anonymous]

Yes, DC is quite socially segregated in re Black-White relations.

[Anonymous]

If you want your DS to be in a socially integrated environment than you can start by sending him to a public school.

[Anonymous]

I am a DC native, and have been living here as an adult for 10 years now. I do think DC is kind of segregated, especially compared to somewhere like NY, but I don't think it's more segregated than some other large cities. Definitely the club/party scene is segregated. Pretty much all my childhood friends from here are black, even though I was friendly with a lot of the white kids in my high school and grew up in a pretty integrated neighborhood. But I have a lot of friends of various races from having attended law school here and then through work. So if I had a party an invited my circle of friends, it would be pretty diverse, but leaning towards black. And when I think of some of my closest black girlfriends here, they also have a pretty diverse circle of friends through school or work, although theirs tend to lean towards black as well. However, while I have no actual data to support this, I have always had the feeling that our diverse circles were more the exception than the rule among the black community in DC.

[Anonymous]

In college, all my friends were diverse - we were like a Benetton suite: black, white, latina, indian, african, jewish, buddist, christian.

Here, my friends mostly come from our synagogue and are therefore, very homogenous.

[Anonymous]

Yup. Maryland native with an extremely diverse group of friends. Both ethnically and economically. You know what I don't have? Conservative friends. It's too hard for me to cross that barrier well socially. That may sound stupid to others, but it bugs me.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

[Anonymous]

I am in the same situation as a pp. Most of my friends are from work and daughter's school. Unfortunately, there is not a lot of diversity (with an exception of asian). However, when we go to the splash park, or indoor mall play areas my daughter meets and enjoys playing with children of all different ethnic backgrounds.

[Anonymous]

This thread lead to a startling revelation -- all of the "diverse" people I am friends with are married to a white person. Is something wrong with me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you want your DS to be in a socially integrated environment than you can start by sending him to a public school.

I think many of the best public schools in this area have an even bigger problem with diversity than the private schools.

[Anonymous]

Our friends aren't terribly diverse...although we do have black friends.

Our kids' school is very diverse. In their class there are 3 white kids (them), 2 Asian kids, and 15 black kids.

[Anonymous]

I was also born and raised in this area and definitely have a diverse group of friends.