What do you do when your adult child says she's suicidal?

[Anonymous]

This happens once every six months or so, although it has been happening with more frequency lately. She is 26. Last night, she was at a friend's apartment pet sitting and called us sobbing and said she had planned out jumping from the 11th story window but didn't want to risk not dying and just hurting herself. She lives about a 2 hours away from us. I told her to call the suicide hotline. Something may have gotten lost in translation but she called us back afterwards and they recommended she reach out to her support system. She spent 1 hour talking to my husband about random stuff (pets, work, etc.) and now today after work it is like nothing ever happened.

[Anonymous]

I would go see her immediately! That is huge cry for help. Wishing you and DD the best.

[Anonymous]

If she’s receptive, and when she’s not in the midst of a crisis, help her build mental health infrastructure. Specifically, find a therapist who takes her insurance and also a psychiatrist and get her appointments at both (again, if she’s receptive). At a minimum, you can share the names of the providers with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she’s receptive, and when she’s not in the midst of a crisis, help her build mental health infrastructure. Specifically, find a therapist who takes her insurance and also a psychiatrist and get her appointments at both (again, if she’s receptive). At a minimum, you can share the names of the providers with her.

She does see a therapist, but has only had 2 appointments so far. She is on medication, but managed by her pcp.

[Anonymous]

I would report it to her therapist.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry, OP. My DD25 has often been in that situation, though she's doing better now with an antidepressant that's been effective for her.

Has she ever made any attempts, or has she only threatened? Has she always contacted you? Does she live alone? What's her support system like?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would go see her immediately! That is huge cry for help. Wishing you and DD the best.

Same. Why have you not gone?

[Anonymous]

I would stick to her like white on rice. FFS.

I don't care if my kid is dramatic or just need attention. I would drop everything and bring her back home. Then I would be with her and hug her and just comfort her to the best of my abilities. Next day - a therapist and ask her to be given anti-anxiety meds. I would take any abuse she heaped on me in the process and spend as much money as was needed to make her happy, healthy and functional again. I would think that it would be a long road and I and my DH would pour every resource in fixing it. I would make sure that she is getting therapy, that she is being taken care of by us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would stick to her like white on rice. FFS.

I don't care if my kid is dramatic or just need attention. I would drop everything and bring her back home. Then I would be with her and hug her and just comfort her to the best of my abilities. Next day - a therapist and ask her to be given anti-anxiety meds. I would take any abuse she heaped on me in the process and spend as much money as was needed to make her happy, healthy and functional again. I would think that it would be a long road and I and my DH would pour every resource in fixing it. I would make sure that she is getting therapy, that she is being taken care of by us.

You’re assuming that sue would want to come home, that leaving her home and job, friends, etc is a good idea. Sue uses therapist, presumably where she lives. Not sure it’s so simple as “bring her home” when she’s an Adult.

[Anonymous]

call 911.

[Anonymous]

Offer to help research therapy options. So some background research so you are informed, but don't push it on her.
Send her a house cleaner if she doesn't clean, help her sign up for gym classes, social clubs, etc. Help her build a routine to keep busy and involved with people.

Don't obsess over the suicide threat itself. That makes it worse.

[Anonymous]

Do you think she is abusing drugs or alcohol? My brother went through this at that age and that was like a gasoline on the fire of his underlying mental illness.

[Anonymous]

If possible, go to a fun touristy area for vacation to reset the clock to a new beginning. Instead of PCP and therapist mix, advise her to see a psychiatrist and follow what they recommend. If possible encourage her to visit home whenever she can or go to her town once a month, even if to just have lunch with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Offer to help research therapy options. So some background research so you are informed, but don't push it on her.
Send her a house cleaner if she doesn't clean, help her sign up for gym classes, social clubs, etc. Help her build a routine to keep busy and involved with people.

Don't obsess over the suicide threat itself. That makes it worse.

Good advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry, OP. My DD25 has often been in that situation, though she's doing better now with an antidepressant that's been effective for her.

Has she ever made any attempts, or has she only threatened? Has she always contacted you? Does she live alone? What's her support system like?

She's never made an attempt, only idealization/planning. She contacts us sometimes but says, not all the time. She lives alone. She's shy and doesn't have much of a support system. She is doing great professionally! But has always struggled socially.