seeing kids say "that's so gay," how to address

[Anonymous]

At school pickup (I have a 1st grader) I saw some older boys chasing each other and yelling stuff like "you're gay!!! that's so gay!!!"

I'm no activist, but that sort of casual homophobia is pretty problematic and I was sad to see it thrown out in the open and talked to my kid about how that type of language is not okay.

(I'm tempted to say something like "hey, saying 'you're so gay' to make fun of someone is what your parents' generation said in the 90s, and then we all grew up and realized that it's actually really offensive and unkind to say. you might not know better, but I'd encourage you think about your words. I hope you wouldn't make fun of someone like me for being of a different race [I'm a POC] and I'd encourage you to not think it's okay to use sexual orientation as a joke or slur." but I'm pretty sure it'd go over their heads. Maybe more effective would be to say something like "hey, do you guys have iPhones or you want iPhones? Guess who's the CEO of Apple? Tim Cook and he's GAY. Yes the guy who runs Apple is gay. Do you think that being gay is something you should use to tease other people?")

The question is, if I see it again, should I talk to the kids directly? Should I contact the assistant principal and say what I saw? (pro, put it in the school's hands, cons, can't guarantee that the kid saying it will actually get talked to)

[Anonymous]

I would stay out of it. Save up your complaint chits at the school for when it affects your own children directly.

Signed, former administrator.

[Anonymous]

You say, “not okay,” or “don’t say that,” or “nope.” Can also give The Look.

[Anonymous]

At school pickup with a million kids and grownups around? And not directed at you or your kid? MYOB.

Use it as a teaching experience for your kid. That's it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At school pickup with a million kids and grownups around? And not directed at you or your kid? MYOB.

Use it as a teaching experience for your kid. That's it.

This. Kids who say this in 2023 have a$$hole family members.

You'd be shouting into the wind.

[Anonymous]

You need to pick your moments, and after school pickup with older boys you have no relationship isn't it.

Also, brevity is your friend - they won't stand there listening to you if you give such a long lecture.

[Anonymous]

I would just say loudly that what they are saying is "Not okay''. But I wouldn't do more than that unless it was affecting my kid directly.

If you are really concerned, write an email to the principal about what you heard. They may or may not do anything about it but it is not your place to lecture other people's kids.

[Anonymous]

The funniest part about this post is that you think the average elementary schooler is going to know what a CEO is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At school pickup with a million kids and grownups around? And not directed at you or your kid? MYOB.

Use it as a teaching experience for your kid. That's it.

This. Kids who say this in 2023 have a$$hole family members.

You'd be shouting into the wind.

Agreed. I would make a point to explain to YOUR child why that's inappropriate and harmful, so they don't copy the big kids and repeat it. But otherwise MYOB. If it happens repeatedly, then sure, email the admin and ask what the school policy is on language. Maybe the principal can stand outside and correct the language the next time it happens. But if it's after pickup and the kids are with their parents already, I wouldn't expect a tired teacher to discipline and risk starting a fight with the parents.

[Anonymous]

I just say “shh I don’t want dad/my h to find out”.

I once announce in the school
Pickup line, “now everyone knows I’m gay!”

It’s like the “r” word kids just need to learn it’s not a good word.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At school pickup with a million kids and grownups around? And not directed at you or your kid? MYOB.

Use it as a teaching experience for your kid. That's it.

This. Kids who say this in 2023 have a$$hole family members.

You'd be shouting into the wind.

I definitely do not think it means they have ahole family members. Kids do and say all kinds of things on the playground their families would be horrified about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would stay out of it. Save up your complaint chits at the school for when it affects your own children directly.

Signed, former administrator.

Agree. MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You say, “not okay,” or “don’t say that,” or “nope.” Can also give The Look.

This. Treat them like adults. You get one sentence or less, then leave them alone. They are repeating a dumb slang expression they heard. It's not a hate crime and they didn't think before they spoke.

[Anonymous]

It's inappropriate and I would correct it, but you need to use less words that when you propose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would stay out of it. Save up your complaint chits at the school for when it affects your own children directly.

Signed, former administrator.

Agree. MYOB.

+1

I can’t believe all the people saying they would try to correct some older kids saying stuff that aren’t even interacting with you? Would you also correct them for using the N word or cursing? Because that is pretty common too. Get ready