my 7th grader basically eats alone every day at new school

[Anonymous]

Apparently a teacher keeps her door open and plays videos in the classroom during lunch. A handful of kids sit in there, separately, watching movies while eating. I think she's maybe embarrassed about it because she'd just told me that she's been 'eating with other kids' and said nothing about the set up.

I heard about it from another parent, and I'm not going to say anything about it to my kid for now. I'm glad she has a safe place to go and isn't having to wander into a huge cafeteria without a place to sit, but still... Well. It just makes me feel so sad. Making friends can be so hard, especially if you're a shy kid.

[Anonymous]

I feel this so deeply OP. I was a lonely kid, I was an only child at home. I was incredibly shy and had trouble opening up to sit with others at school. I’m glad your daughter has this teacher and safe space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel this so deeply OP. I was a lonely kid, I was an only child at home. I was incredibly shy and had trouble opening up to sit with others at school. I’m glad your daughter has this teacher and safe space.

+1. I thought the poor child sat at table by themselves. Thank goodness this teacher is kind.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry for your daughter. It can be hard making new friends, especially in middle school. I think it's great that this teacher makes this low-pressure option available, though. Your daughter may end up making some friends with the other kids in there. Clearly they could use a friend too.

[Anonymous]

I completely understand how hard it can be to make new friends. But I also want to say how incredible that kids have this safe place to eat. I would have given anything for my son to have that option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I completely understand how hard it can be to make new friends. But I also want to say how incredible that kids have this safe place to eat. I would have given anything for my son to have that option.

+1. DD sat alone for first two months of 8th grade at her new school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel this so deeply OP. I was a lonely kid, I was an only child at home. I was incredibly shy and had trouble opening up to sit with others at school. I’m glad your daughter has this teacher and safe space.

+1. I thought the poor child sat at table by themselves. Thank goodness this teacher is kind.

The cafeteria in middle school can be a hellhole! I'm glad that this teacher gives the kids an escape and some respite. I used to go to the math room with the math club kids to get away from the chaos and meanness of the cafeteria, even though I was hardly math club material.

[Anonymous]

My kids are at a new middle school this year. They don’t know anyone. They are in separate grades so they don’t have same lunch. This is normal and it is hard to make friends and it takes time. Cafeterias are loud and chaotic. They will find their place. Don’t let it make you sad if they don’t seem to be sad about it. Maybe they enjoy the calm and quiet.

[Anonymous]

I used to go to the library at lunch time during middle school, and in HS I'd go sit on a bench in the hallway. As an adult I have never eaten in any employee break room or cafeteria - but in an empty office or conference room.

Turns out lunch rooms are not relaxing and I am an introvert and just wanted a calm lunch period to recharge. I was ashamed and felt bad that I wasn't happily screaming to friends at a table full of kids, but didn't know I was an introvert then. I just naturally did what felt right.

[Anonymous]

Just because it's this way now, doesn't mean it always will be. It's a new situation and it'll soon work out. Even the quiet, introverted kids tend to find their people.

But it sounds like a nice space for these kids, kudos to the teacher!

[Anonymous]

OP, many kids dislike the crowded middle and high school cafeterias. My oldest ate in a favorite teacher’s classroom with a group of friends for most of middle school. There have also been times they’ve eaten alone with teachers. I’m thankful for teachers who are willing to open their doors to kids.

[Anonymous]

You might consider asking the school for help. The school counselor or head might be abel to get a lunch buddy or group started to help new integrate & make friesdns
.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Apparently a teacher keeps her door open and plays videos in the classroom during lunch. A handful of kids sit in there, separately, watching movies while eating. I think she's maybe embarrassed about it because she'd just told me that she's been 'eating with other kids' and said nothing about the set up.

I heard about it from another parent, and I'm not going to say anything about it to my kid for now. I'm glad she has a safe place to go and isn't having to wander into a huge cafeteria without a place to sit, but still... Well. It just makes me feel so sad. Making friends can be so hard, especially if you're a shy kid.

I think this is a wonderful thing for the teacher to do. I would have been so thankful for such a situation in middle school. Give her some time. It's still September.

[Anonymous]

It's okay. Some kids need a little introvert time. If I had to eat lunch in a middle school cafeteria I'd lose my mind!

[Anonymous]

I have horrible memories of lunch. I typically went to the library but they would only give out so many passes and it was so stressful being sure to get there and get one.

I am a happy, well-adjusted adult with many friends.

The teacher doing that is amazing. That's not nothing for them as I bet it's their down time to be away from students if they choose.