Will it hurt my kid if I don’t attend parent events

[Anonymous]

Our school has a welcome reception, homecoming and other parent and alumni oriented events like golf tournaments and fundraisers. I really don’t want to attend these events. I have 3 kids at 3 different schools and I’m barely getting by.

I’m happy to meet parents of my kids’ friends but it is overwhelming the number of events for parents between the three schools.

[Anonymous]

Same here… 3 kids at 3 different schools and a FT job. I will attend BTSN and I attended all the events organized for new parents/students at one school. DH has attended one event any another school. We will always attend anything related to our kids specifically and anything where my kids will be having a special role.

I am not planning to attend much of anything else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same here… 3 kids at 3 different schools and a FT job. I will attend BTSN and I attended all the events organized for new parents/students at one school. DH has attended one event any another school. We will always attend anything related to our kids specifically and anything where my kids will be having a special role.

I am not planning to attend much of anything else.

We have a back to school night today and a welcome reception next week. I have already gone to two back to school nights. I just can’t go to events just to meet the school, administration, parents and alum.

[Anonymous]

When my son was in first grade and my daughter in PreK (same school) - I told the PreK teacher to let me know if there would be something that every parent would be attending -- and I will get myself there. She was a working mom too -- so she got it. The PreK teacher and the first grade teacher made a plan that my son could attend the small PreK events to represent our family. It was adorable and both kids loved it.

[Anonymous]

IMO -
ES, yes.
MS, depends on if you may need assistance with HS recommendations, etc.
HS- no.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think so. I am an introvert slacker mom who goes to 0% of these events. My kid is doing great in school and has plenty of friends. He might be missing out on something because of me but I’m not sure what!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:IMO -
ES, yes.
MS, depends on if you may need assistance with HS recommendations, etc.
HS- no.

OP here. I went to the elementary BTSN and parent mixer. I have already hosted a few play dates.

I don’t want to go to the middle and high school ones. I won’t know anyone and I’m tired to socialize. We have enough social events. DH is trying to get me to a charity event from work and a wedding i won’t know anyone. I used to love to go to these things and saw them as opportunities to meet new people. I’m just tired. I can’t even find time to see my actual real friends.

[Anonymous]

BTSN is kind of important across the board so you can meet your kids teachers etc.

The rest of it is more social, and not being there won't hurt your kid per se, but it does reduce how your connect with the "community" which is a kind of nice aspect of an independent school.

[Anonymous]

Assuming you’re talking about a small, private elementary school, yes, it will hurt your kid if they are at an age where they need their moms to arrange play dates/sports teams/birthday parties, etc. If you’re out of sight, you’re out of mind. If you pretty much know all the parents and your kid isn’t new at the school, then don’t sweat it. If your kid is new, I’d attend the events, at least for awhile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our school has a welcome reception, homecoming and other parent and alumni oriented events like golf tournaments and fundraisers. I really don’t want to attend these events. I have 3 kids at 3 different schools and I’m barely getting by.

I’m happy to meet parents of my kids’ friends but it is overwhelming the number of events for parents between the three schools.

Welcoming reception - yes absolutely

Homecoming - pop by and bring kids they will like it too -

Golf- no

Fundraisers - don’t have to attend but some are fun in the evening

[Anonymous]

BTSN and any parent/teacher conferences (we had them k-8, but not now in HS), and then things like concerts or plays that my kid is in. That’s it.

[Anonymous]

Hugs, OP. It’s a lot. Do back to school night and things your DC performs in etc. Any way you can divide and conquer with your spouse/partner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hugs, OP. It’s a lot. Do back to school night and things your DC performs in etc. Any way you can divide and conquer with your spouse/partner?

You can’t assume OP has a partner. Her statement that she is barely getting by suggests to me that she is a single parent,
.

OP, there are many other ways to meet parents in your class. Unless your kids are young and having a hard time making friends and need you to help, play dates are usually requested by the kids themselves.

School involvement helps in relation to volunteering but no one cares whether you attend a specific event or not. We’re at two Bug 3s where fundraising events are huge. Probably only about a third of the parent body attend the fundraising parties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Assuming you’re talking about a small, private elementary school, yes, it will hurt your kid if they are at an age where they need their moms to arrange play dates/sports teams/birthday parties, etc. If you’re out of sight, you’re out of mind. If you pretty much know all the parents and your kid isn’t new at the school, then don’t sweat it. If your kid is new, I’d attend the events, at least for awhile.

This. Your kid will not have much of a social life at private school if it's not engineered OP. My parents didn't have time, so I only had a social life at church when I attended a private school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assuming you’re talking about a small, private elementary school, yes, it will hurt your kid if they are at an age where they need their moms to arrange play dates/sports teams/birthday parties, etc. If you’re out of sight, you’re out of mind. If you pretty much know all the parents and your kid isn’t new at the school, then don’t sweat it. If your kid is new, I’d attend the events, at least for awhile.

This. Your kid will not have much of a social life at private school if it's not engineered OP. My parents didn't have time, so I only had a social life at church when I attended a private school.

It's age-specific though. I went to a private HS and took the bus there, and I managed all the social stuff on my own. Elementary school is obviously different. But I don't think you need to make connections at parent social events specifically. Those aren't my thing either, but I still know my kids' friends' parents from drop-off, pick-up, performances, general chatting near the playground – things I'd do anyway!