Tell an opinion you have that is in the strong minority

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here goes. I don't think infants should be in daycare (unless the family truly can't cover the basics without two incomes).

Agree but I don't say a word to a living soul to anyone about this.

I also agree.

You know .. I also agree.

Me too. I worked in the infant room at a daycare when I was in college and that cemented my opinion. It was a great facility and the babies were very well cared for but there was no way I would do that to my kids unless I absolutely had to.

+1. I worked in college at the daycare for children of faculty. Wonderful facility. If I had to, I would send my children there, without question. But I did feel very sorry for those kids, and the parents. SUCH long days for those kids. Some dropped off by 7am, and picked up after 6pm. It was sad to see the looks on parents' faces when they arrived for pickup and their kids were already asleep.

PP here. That was the other thing: even as a college kid who didn't yet have kids, I could tell it was really hard on most of the parents. A lot of the moms cried at drop off and whichever parent picked the baby up looked bummed when they came in and they'd already been fed and were asleep in their pajamas.

You know, I'd be willing to bet that if you tracked those kids and found out how they were doing now, you'd find out that most did well and are close to their parents. Why do I say that? Because they had moms that were willing to sacrifice their own feelings and do what they had to do to take care of their whole family's needs. They were sad, but they were doing what they had to do for the family.

My kids are much older. I am agnostic on childcare/nanny/SAH. Because of changed family circumstances over the years, I've done all variants during the course of my life, and I also have had a fair amount of exposure to older kids/teens whose families have done a lot of various approaches. There are good and bad aspects to all types of childcare, and all types can be done well and done poorly. The type of childcare one chooses in the early years pales in comparison to what's going on inside the family over the years. From outside, you can tell somewhat what kids have secure, good relationships with their parents and are kind kids when they are older, but what childcare they had when they were little? No, and it's all over the map once you get close enough to the families to even bother to find out those details. It just falls out of the equation.

I think a lot of people here on DCUM have babies and toddlers and haven't had a lot of exposure to older children, so childcare takes on this huge value because that's an issue you can fret about at the time. People want to make this a black and white issue because it is easier/lazier to go through life with a rigid worldview rather than an attenuated worldview but it's just not how the world works.

Also, be careful. You could follow every single rule you believe in rigidly and judge other people unmercifully and still end up with a kid with issues that other people will give you the side-eye for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here goes. I don't think infants should be in daycare (unless the family truly can't cover the basics without two incomes).

Agree but I don't say a word to a living soul to anyone about this.

I also agree.

You know .. I also agree.

Me too. I worked in the infant room at a daycare when I was in college and that cemented my opinion. It was a great facility and the babies were very well cared for but there was no way I would do that to my kids unless I absolutely had to.

+1. I worked in college at the daycare for children of faculty. Wonderful facility. If I had to, I would send my children there, without question. But I did feel very sorry for those kids, and the parents. SUCH long days for those kids. Some dropped off by 7am, and picked up after 6pm. It was sad to see the looks on parents' faces when they arrived for pickup and their kids were already asleep.

PP here. That was the other thing: even as a college kid who didn't yet have kids, I could tell it was really hard on most of the parents. A lot of the moms cried at drop off and whichever parent picked the baby up looked bummed when they came in and they'd already been fed and were asleep in their pajamas.

You know, I'd be willing to bet that if you tracked those kids and found out how they were doing now, you'd find out that most did well and are close to their parents. Why do I say that? Because they had moms that were willing to sacrifice their own feelings and do what they had to do to take care of their whole family's needs. They were sad, but they were doing what they had to do for the family.

My kids are much older. I am agnostic on childcare/nanny/SAH. Because of changed family circumstances over the years, I've done all variants during the course of my life, and I also have had a fair amount of exposure to older kids/teens whose families have done a lot of various approaches. There are good and bad aspects to all types of childcare, and all types can be done well and done poorly. The type of childcare one chooses in the early years pales in comparison to what's going on inside the family over the years. From outside, you can tell somewhat what kids have secure, good relationships with their parents and are kind kids when they are older, but what childcare they had when they were little? No, and it's all over the map once you get close enough to the families to even bother to find out those details. It just falls out of the equation.

I think a lot of people here on DCUM have babies and toddlers and haven't had a lot of exposure to older children, so childcare takes on this huge value because that's an issue you can fret about at the time. People want to make this a black and white issue because it is easier/lazier to go through life with a rigid worldview rather than an attenuated worldview but it's just not how the world works.

Also, be careful. You could follow every single rule you believe in rigidly and judge other people unmercifully and still end up with a kid with issues that other people will give you the side-eye for.

+1 This is what I was trying to say (I am the one who adopted two, at ages 2 and 3). After you've dealt with more life "stuff", you see that some of the things you thought and obsessed about just fall by the wayside. Things get put more in perspective.

[Anonymous]

I don't think being a single mother by choice is ever a good idea.

[Anonymous]

I think everyone should get enough food to live on and adequate housing from the government (base welfare payment for all). If you want to work to have more money to afford nicer things, than you can. If you choose to devote your time to things other than paid work, you can do that, instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think everyone should get enough food to live on and adequate housing from the government (base welfare payment for all). If you want to work to have more money to afford nicer things, than you can. If you choose to devote your time to things other than paid work, you can do that, instead.

If you also came up with ideas on how to procure the necessary resources for that arrangement, I'll alert the Nobel committee

[Anonymous]

There is plenty of money for this idea. We'd be simplifying/elimination all the welfare administrative fees, for one. And there's always taxing the wealthy, for another.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Basic_income

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think everyone should get enough food to live on and adequate housing from the government (base welfare payment for all). If you want to work to have more money to afford nicer things, than you can. If you choose to devote your time to things other than paid work, you can do that, instead.

This sounds great in kumbya land, but your going to have a class of people working to provide food and necessities for themselves in addition to all the people not working. Why do I want to go to a job to pay for other able bodied people to have shelter and food? I don't mind paying taxes toward social security disability, TANF, etc. (to an extent), but the idea that I'd be paying for other people to not work on purpose is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is plenty of money for this idea. We'd be simplifying/elimination all the welfare administrative fees, for one. And there's always taxing the wealthy, for another.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Basic_income

So, seven grand or so (the Canadian example) are supposed to replace housing benefits, food stamps, healthcare benefits etc. Good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think everyone should get enough food to live on and adequate housing from the government (base welfare payment for all). If you want to work to have more money to afford nicer things, than you can. If you choose to devote your time to things other than paid work, you can do that, instead.

This sounds great in kumbya land, but your going to have a class of people working to provide food and necessities for themselves in addition to all the people not working. Why do I want to go to a job to pay for other able bodied people to have shelter and food? I don't mind paying taxes toward social security disability, TANF, etc. (to an extent), but the idea that I'd be paying for other people to not work on purpose is ridiculous.

This is why communism never happened. We are basically chimps fighting among ourselves, because some got grapes, and others got cukes. We may evolve eventually, but I am inclined to believe we will kill ourselves off long before that. So scratch that beautiful idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I dream of moving to Kansas City or Grand Rapids and buying a 4,000 square foot McMansion for $350K.

Try $250,000.

I bought an old mansion in Upstate NY for much, much less than $100,000. I have 1.5 acres, a pond, barn, and a 22 room house. Not to mention a great public school and beautiful mountain views. It is my utopia.

Sounds very...white.

It's OK because we're not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here goes. I don't think infants should be in daycare (unless the family truly can't cover the basics without two incomes).

Agree but I don't say a word to a living soul to anyone about this.

I also agree.

You know .. I also agree.

Me too. I worked in the infant room at a daycare when I was in college and that cemented my opinion. It was a great facility and the babies were very well cared for but there was no way I would do that to my kids unless I absolutely had to.

+1. I worked in college at the daycare for children of faculty. Wonderful facility. If I had to, I would send my children there, without question. But I did feel very sorry for those kids, and the parents. SUCH long days for those kids. Some dropped off by 7am, and picked up after 6pm. It was sad to see the looks on parents' faces when they arrived for pickup and their kids were already asleep.

Aw, that makes me sad.

PP here. That was the other thing: even as a college kid who didn't yet have kids, I could tell it was really hard on most of the parents. A lot of the moms cried at drop off and whichever parent picked the baby up looked bummed when they came in and they'd already been fed and were asleep in their pajamas.

[Anonymous]

Quote fail. I meant to put this after the posts I quoted.

Aw, that makes me sad.

[Anonymous]

Moms who try to stay home and work a job into it are just too loosey-goosey for my tastes and end up driving me CRAZY with their lack of organization, slowness in returning phone calls or emails, or similar.

Just this week, I have had to chase down three ostensibly W-OHMs who are clearly trying to do too much parenting juggling at the expense of their jobs;:

1) My daughter's SLP;
2) An adoption case-worker; and
3) An owner of a side-business (won't post name of business here -- but I probably should) doing an art form relating to children

NONE OF THESE PEOPLE HAVE GOTTEN BACK TO ME IN A TIMELY MANNER. If I am doing my job in my office, this would have been inexcusable. Ladies, types like you are ruining it for those who are doing their jobs and doing them well.

[Anonymous]

Being a SAHM was a direct contribution to my postpartum depression. I regret it so, so much.

I ended up getting a job at Starbucks (I was a white collar professional) to get out of the house. We didn't need the money and people looked at me sideways for sending the kids to daycare, but it was the smartest decision I ever made. It saved my life.

I don't work at Starbucks anymore (back in my pre-children field), but I always tip extra when I go.

Whenever a mom who can afford daycare complains about staying home, I just shrug. Because if it was as bad as it was for me, you would get a job at pizza hut even if you DH was making 500K a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think everyone should get enough food to live on and adequate housing from the government (base welfare payment for all). If you want to work to have more money to afford nicer things, than you can. If you choose to devote your time to things other than paid work, you can do that, instead.

This sounds great in kumbya land, but your going to have a class of people working to provide food and necessities for themselves in addition to all the people not working. Why do I want to go to a job to pay for other able bodied people to have shelter and food? I don't mind paying taxes toward social security disability, TANF, etc. (to an extent), but the idea that I'd be paying for other people to not work on purpose is ridiculous.

This is why communism never happened. We are basically chimps fighting among ourselves, because some got grapes, and others got cukes. We may evolve eventually, but I am inclined to believe we will kill ourselves off long before that. So scratch that beautiful idea.

+1. There was no reason to try harder or do better since everything was provided.