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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Here goes. I don't think infants should be in daycare (unless the family truly can't cover the basics without two incomes). [/quote]

Agree but I don't say a word to a living soul to anyone about this.[/quote]

I also agree. [/quote]

You know .. I also agree.[/quote]

Me too.  I worked in the infant room at a daycare when I was in college and that cemented my opinion.  It was a great facility and the babies were very well cared for but there was no way I would do that to my kids unless I absolutely had to.  [/quote]

+1. I worked in college at the daycare for children of faculty. Wonderful facility. If I had to, I would send my children there, without question. But I did feel very sorry for those kids, and the parents. SUCH long days for those kids. Some dropped off by 7am, and picked up after 6pm. It was sad to see the looks on parents' faces when they arrived for pickup and their kids were already asleep.[/quote]

PP here. That was the other thing: even as a college kid who didn't yet have kids, I could tell it was really hard on most of the parents.  A lot of the moms cried at drop off and whichever parent picked the baby up looked bummed when they came in and they'd already been fed and were asleep in their pajamas.  [/quote]

You know, I'd be willing to bet that if you tracked those kids and found out how they were doing now, you'd find out that most did well and are close to their parents. Why do I say that? Because they had moms that were willing to sacrifice their own feelings and do what they had to do to take care of their whole family's needs. They were sad, but they were doing what they had to do for the family.

My kids are much older. I am agnostic on childcare/nanny/SAH. Because of changed family circumstances over the years, I've done all variants during the course of my life, and I also have had a fair amount of exposure to older kids/teens whose families have done a lot of various approaches. There are good and bad aspects to all types of childcare, and all types can be done well and done poorly. The type of childcare one chooses in the early years pales in comparison to what's going on [i]inside[/i] the family over the years. From outside, you can tell somewhat what kids have secure, good relationships with their parents and are kind kids when they are older, but what childcare they had when they were little? No, and it's all over the map once you get close enough to the families to even bother to find out those details. It just falls out of the equation.

I think a lot of people here on DCUM have babies and toddlers and haven't had a lot of exposure to older children, so childcare takes on this huge value because that's an issue you can fret about at the time. People want to make this a black and white issue because it is easier/lazier to go through life with a rigid worldview rather than an attenuated worldview but it's just not how the world works.

Also, be careful. You could follow every single rule you believe in rigidly and judge other people unmercifully and still end up with a kid with issues that other people will give you the side-eye for. [/quote]

+1  This is what I was trying to say (I am the one who adopted two, at ages 2 and 3).  After you've dealt with more life "stuff", you see that some of the things you thought and obsessed about just fall by the wayside.  Things get put more in perspective.  [/quote]

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