Does having three get harder or easier as they get older?
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Anonymous
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Currently have three, ages 4, 2.5, and 1. It’s mostly chaos but it’s also nice sometimes because my younger two nap at the same time. But everyone keeps telling me how hard it gets as they get older, and to “just wait” until they are all in elementary school.
Sometimes I feel in the thick of it and I can’t imagine it will get HARDER as they become more independent. Does it? |
Anonymous
| Yes |
Anonymous
| I personally think it gets harder because you have to juggle hormones, complicated tween/teen issues (like screen time, social media, sex, driving), the sibling dynamics can get more complicated with older kids and their “big” feelings as teens and finally because of their more demanding extracurricular schedules. |
Anonymous
| Harder. More college applications, more tryouts and disappointments, more friend dramas, more expenses. |
Anonymous
| Much harder |
Anonymous
| Harder and stakes are higher. If one kid has particularly high needs at a certain time, you risk not meeting your other kids' basic needs. Parents can't play man-to-man with 3, so you really have to remember that each of your kids need you, even the ones who seem to be doing well. You can't just coast with any of them. |
Anonymous
| Harder. Different activities, friends, temperaments, academic abilities, etc. Yes, if you don’t work the middle of your day will be calmer. That’s about it, all the rest is harder. |
Anonymous
| Easier and harder and it depends on the kids. |
Anonymous
| Easier for a bit, then harder again. It’s physically easier (I sleep through the night! I carry little!), but logistically harder. |
Anonymous
…Are you comparing having 3 kids to having 1/2, or having 3 little kids to having 3 big kids? My 3 are teens now and I think it’s easier than the little kid years, but life is crazy busy! (Which is exactly what we expected…they are a lot of fun and our family has a good time together - lots to look forward to, OP!) |
Anonymous
It sounds like your kids have zero academic, emotional or friend issues. Which is lucky and uncommon with 3 kids, unless maybe all are boys? I’d rather potty train 100 kids than deal with teen friend drama. |
Anonymous
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Both easier and harder.
They are way more independent when they get older, can help more around the house (hello dishes!) and they sleep better (mine were terrible sleepers when they were young). You also get to watch fun shows with them that you actually like and have deep meaningful conversations on car rides. But their problems also get bigger. Sex, drugs, alcohol, mental health. Grades at higher stakes, college applications, the future. For ME I'm happier now than when my kids were little. The sleep and tantrums and it was a slog. Teenage years are hard; but I feel more equipped to handle them. |
Anonymous
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Easier in the physical sense that they sleep through the night, no diapers and no wrangling clothes on everyone. Easier to get out of the door.
Harder in almost every other way. Logistically if they’re in activities and generally in balancing the needs of all 3. |
Anonymous
+1, and no SNs I'm guessing. That can tilt a family of 5 on it's axis in a way that can feel much harder to maintain. |
Anonymous
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Every family has their own problems, OP. My teens are well-behaved, but they all have medical issues and one of them also has special needs. I don't deal with my neighbor's drug problem with her teen. Your family might come out relatively unscathed... or not. It largely depends on genetic predisposition, since physical, mental and behavioral issues are coded by genes. What were you and your husband like as children and teens?
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