Eating out with our neighbors is ALWAYS weird

[Anonymous]

I don't live in DC anymore so feel safe posting on DCUM.
We have sort of a standing every-other-month dinner out with our neighbors, who are older and really cherish it. They are very nice people, they dog sit for us, are nice to our kids. But I somehow need to get out of this pattern of eating out with them because it's so awkward.
The husband loves food and considers himself a big foodie, which is fine except he insists on touring the kitchen wherever we go, even if it is super busy. He will disappear and stand in the entryway to the kitchen and try to talk to the line cooks, ask for the head chef, etc, seemingly oblivious to how busy it is. Then the substitutions. Let's say he orders scallops and linguine in a white wine sauce. He will then ask for it except with fusilli, with a dash of lemon butter, and could they also throw on some sundried tomatoes? And could they also cook the scallops until brown on both sides? Etc.
Without fail he will send the dish back at least once because they forgot some preposterous element of his self-created dish. Then he begins asking to sample everyone else's plate and commenting annoyingly on the flavor profiles as his wife beams!
Then he insists on paying, which is so gracious, but leaves such a measly tip all the time ... cue the Friends episode where Ross tries to tip and the dad gets mad. It is so awkward!!
I am not sure how we can decline their dinner invites in perpetuity but it's really awkward and odd. They're normal in other arenas!

[Anonymous]

In your place, I would continue the dinners with the neighbors and just ignore the awkward parts. Not everyone is perfect.

They are older and really cherish the relationship, so meet them where they are.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, that's cringe. I would get them to every quarter.

[Anonymous]

Maybe try hiring a chef to come prepare a meal at one of your homes instead of going out?

[Anonymous]

Say jokingly:

"Hey Larlo, you know that asking too much of the kitchen staff is a sure way to get food that's spat on?"

I mean, unless you want them to continue babysitting.

[Anonymous]

Discreetly slip a cash tip to your server on the way out.

[Anonymous]

Oh gosh, that's pretty bad. But I don't think you can get out of it.

Can you afford to drop an extra $100 on the table behind their backs? Hell, having reliable dog sitters is worth that.

[Anonymous]

Can you invite them to your house for dinner and then order in from a restaurant?

[Anonymous]

I agree with the slide a tip to the staff when your neighbors aren't looking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the slide a tip to the staff when your neighbors aren't looking.

+1. I hope some restaurant staff person clues him in. I’d be so so sooo embarrassed but I wouldn’t want to blow up the relationship.

[Anonymous]

Yikes. Made me cringe reading ops post because my dad used to do that. So embarrassing! Cook at home or order in OP. Restaurants do not have time for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Discreetly slip a cash tip to your server on the way out.

Or tip the server while your neighbor is in the kitchen.

[Anonymous]

This gotta be troll right?

[Anonymous]

I'd go to the bathroom mid meal and tip the server $100.

[Anonymous]

Tipping extra is a nice gesture. He sounds autistic and hyper focused on food prep. I would also give your friend grace. Maybe alert the restaurant in advance so they can prepare however best they can. But at the end of the day, you control you and can decide who you want to be in that situation. If you want out, then you’ll have to come up with an excuse that you can accept.