Do your kids need you less as they get older?

[Anonymous]

Do your kids need you as much when they reach middle school/high school? For example, do they at that point get ready by themselves, theoretically drive themselves to school, have down time at home and then ?

I'm still in el and still packing snacks, water bottles, hurrying them up to put on their socks, etc...

[Anonymous]

If you raise them right, they don’t!

[Anonymous]

Yes, but in different ways.

[Anonymous]

It all happens slowly but I think they need you in different ways as they get older. It is less hands on but issues can be bigger. You are teaching them to drive, navigating young romances, school issues matter more, how long are they fine home alone, can they have their phone at night...and they still run late, forget lunch on and on.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Physically all I do is drive the 14 year old and occasionally make a lunch.

Older teens are at college so completely on their own. They call for advice or with questions but they're basically functioning adults now. This is more than I can say for a lot of their classmates. You can tell from a mile away who had the helicopter parents.

[Anonymous]

They need you less for the little daily mundane things, but then they need you for the sporadic big things of consequence.

It's different, but not easier.

[Anonymous]

If you raise them right they won't need you as much. I dont know how old they are but get them involved in the process of getting their things together.

[Anonymous]

They need different things as they get older. Whether that feels like less to you depends on you and your kid(s), among other variables.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do your kids need you as much when they reach middle school/high school? For example, do they at that point get ready by themselves, theoretically drive themselves to school, have down time at home and then ?

I'm still in el and still packing snacks, water bottles, hurrying them up to put on their socks, etc...

I have an almost 14yo and a 6yo. The teenager needs teenage stuff - rides places, money, help with school things, help with medical things. But she does not really need to be entertained in the same way. She spends a lot more time socializing with friends or doing stuff independently (video games, instrument, reading, art, spa stuff). Family time is mostly functional - giving her rides places, eating meals together, etc. We try to make time to hang out, but she's really just more into friends right now and I'm trying to respect that. She can essentially feed and groom herself and do her own cleaning. She needs reminders and incentives, but frankly, so do I so I can't really complain. The younger one still needs a playmate as well as help with all the life stuff.

I would say that the older one became independent like this in 6th grade and the little one will probably get there earlier based on personality. It's appropriate for elementary school kids to need a lot of help.

[Anonymous]

My 14 year old new high schooler needs a lot of rides.

I work part time (appx 30 hours a week during the school day) and some people ask me if I'll go full time when the kids are older - but I say unlikely until they're all at college. I feel they still keep me busy.

[Anonymous]

Yes, they need you less.

[Anonymous]

No, they need you more.

[Anonymous]

The answer to the title question is "yes, that's basically the goal of parenting." Get them to the point where they can survive in the wild without you.

I don't know what ages you're working with, but by the end of elementary school, if not earlier, they should be able to do what you mentioned with less and less prompting. First you do it for them, then you do it with them, then you make a list and have them check it off and you check, then they do it alone without you checking, then they make their own list, etc etc then eventually they pretty much do it all.

[Anonymous]

I think they need you less in upper elementary. But apparently they need you more in middle and high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do your kids need you as much when they reach middle school/high school? For example, do they at that point get ready by themselves, theoretically drive themselves to school, have down time at home and then ?

I'm still in el and still packing snacks, water bottles, hurrying them up to put on their socks, etc...

For that stuff no, it’s all emotional/school stress/friend drama/not liking a class or school situation, etc. I miss them being excited about school. I have girls fwiw.