Books that restore your faith in romantic relationships?

[Anonymous]

Married young, bad abusive marriage, long divorce, dated a little, decided to work on being happy in my own life first.

I'm ready to dip my toe back in the dating pool, but I'm feeling doubtful that good exists, or what does good even look like day to day.

I'm hoping for some book recs that have healthy inspiring romantic relationships central to the story. I hope to rekindle my hope. TIA!

[Anonymous]

I am in the middle of a book exactly like that. It is called "Back in the Burbs" by Avery Flynn and Tracy Wolff.
It is about a woman who was married about 10 years before catching her husband doing sexy things with his paralegal. Shortly afterward her great aunt dies and leaves her a fixer upper house. The handsome neighbor loans her his lawn mower.

Another book I read a couple years back along those lines was called "The Santa Suit" by Mary Kay Andrews. A newly divorced woman buys a farmhouse, sight unseen. The realtor sure is a nice guy, and lives just down the street.

[Anonymous]

Maybe the Five Love Languages

[Anonymous]

Katherine Center writes incredibly charming books with really lovely characters. The bodyguard and Hello, Stranger are her two most recent books, but I can’t pick a favorite of hers.

[Anonymous]

I thought Romantic Comedy by Curtis Sittenfeld was lovely.

[Anonymous]

Anything by Howard Norman. His male protagonists normally have these wildly dysfunctional relationships with aloof and independent women. So the women come out as extremely interesting in the books.

The Museum Guard
The Bird Artist
The Haunting of L

These three I seem to remember have those sort of romances ingrained in them. The other books he has written can be brilliant but without that central relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anything by Howard Norman. His male protagonists normally have these wildly dysfunctional relationships with aloof and independent women. So the women come out as extremely interesting in the books.

The Museum Guard
The Bird Artist
The Haunting of L

These three I seem to remember have those sort of romances ingrained in them. The other books he has written can be brilliant but without that central relationship.

Did you see that she got out of an abusive marriage and wants "healthy" and "inspiring" relationships in books?

[Anonymous]

Restore your faith in romance? Perhaps it would help if you used other words for it?

Western culture places a huge premium on love and romance constructs, and has successfully exported it to other cultures. But I prefer to think of a long-term, contented relationship as one where partners are loyal and affectionate. It's easier for me to understand. What does romantic mean? To me a candle-lit dinner just means I'm breathing in polluting particles. But I do want and need respect, affection and a long-term commitment from my significant other - it's just that the cliched notions of what's romantic don't quite match that.

Same for the search for happiness. I feel that people often look for intense moments of joy, and when they don't feel that regularly, they call themselves unhappy. So I use the word content. It describes what I can get out of life in a more realistic and achievable way.

Sorry, I don't have book recommendations. I'd like to recommend realistic stories where people are prepared to live with each other's flaws because in the end, they do truly care for one another, and avoid being destructive or hurtful. I don't think reading a "middle-aged woman magically finds herself a well-off, handsome and slavishly loyal middle-aged man" is going to help you in the real world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Restore your faith in romance? Perhaps it would help if you used other words for it?

Western culture places a huge premium on love and romance constructs, and has successfully exported it to other cultures. But I prefer to think of a long-term, contented relationship as one where partners are loyal and affectionate. It's easier for me to understand. What does romantic mean? To me a candle-lit dinner just means I'm breathing in polluting particles. But I do want and need respect, affection and a long-term commitment from my significant other - it's just that the cliched notions of what's romantic don't quite match that.

Same for the search for happiness. I feel that people often look for intense moments of joy, and when they don't feel that regularly, they call themselves unhappy. So I use the word content. It describes what I can get out of life in a more realistic and achievable way.

Sorry, I don't have book recommendations. I'd like to recommend realistic stories where people are prepared to live with each other's flaws because in the end, they do truly care for one another, and avoid being destructive or hurtful. I don't think reading a "middle-aged woman magically finds herself a well-off, handsome and slavishly loyal middle-aged man" is going to help you in the real world.

You sound positively insufferable.

Not OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Restore your faith in romance? Perhaps it would help if you used other words for it?

Western culture places a huge premium on love and romance constructs, and has successfully exported it to other cultures. But I prefer to think of a long-term, contented relationship as one where partners are loyal and affectionate. It's easier for me to understand. What does romantic mean? To me a candle-lit dinner just means I'm breathing in polluting particles. But I do want and need respect, affection and a long-term commitment from my significant other - it's just that the cliched notions of what's romantic don't quite match that.

Same for the search for happiness. I feel that people often look for intense moments of joy, and when they don't feel that regularly, they call themselves unhappy. So I use the word content. It describes what I can get out of life in a more realistic and achievable way.

Sorry, I don't have book recommendations. I'd like to recommend realistic stories where people are prepared to live with each other's flaws because in the end, they do truly care for one another, and avoid being destructive or hurtful. I don't think reading a "middle-aged woman magically finds herself a well-off, handsome and slavishly loyal middle-aged man" is going to help you in the real world.

So - what are your recommendations?

[Anonymous]

I don’t know if it will help as these aren’t exactly realistic/similar to your situation but KJ Charles does an excellent job (imo) of writing genuinely healthy and positive romantic relationships. She writes queer historical (sometimes fantasy) romances. From your post I think maybe you would enjoy Band Sinister and the Sins of the Cities series by her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anything by Howard Norman. His male protagonists normally have these wildly dysfunctional relationships with aloof and independent women. So the women come out as extremely interesting in the books.

The Museum Guard
The Bird Artist
The Haunting of L

These three I seem to remember have those sort of romances ingrained in them. The other books he has written can be brilliant but without that central relationship.

Did you see that she got out of an abusive marriage and wants "healthy" and "inspiring" relationships in books?

I recommended books of prize winning literature, there's no domestic violence, abuse or other nastiness that you might find in supermarket paperbacks. Most relationships are dysfunctional one way or another in real life. These ones I mention are usually to do with just not saying what you think, in the moment. So you don't have to worry about the OP I'm not sending her down a bad road here. They are lovely books.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anything by Howard Norman. His male protagonists normally have these wildly dysfunctional relationships with aloof and independent women. So the women come out as extremely interesting in the books.

The Museum Guard
The Bird Artist
The Haunting of L

These three I seem to remember have those sort of romances ingrained in them. The other books he has written can be brilliant but without that central relationship.

Did you see that she got out of an abusive marriage and wants "healthy" and "inspiring" relationships in books?

I would recommend NOT getting an unrealistic picture of romance from FICTION.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anything by Howard Norman. His male protagonists normally have these wildly dysfunctional relationships with aloof and independent women. So the women come out as extremely interesting in the books.

The Museum Guard
The Bird Artist
The Haunting of L

These three I seem to remember have those sort of romances ingrained in them. The other books he has written can be brilliant but without that central relationship.

Did you see that she got out of an abusive marriage and wants "healthy" and "inspiring" relationships in books?

I would recommend NOT getting an unrealistic picture of romance from FICTION.

Good point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anything by Howard Norman. His male protagonists normally have these wildly dysfunctional relationships with aloof and independent women. So the women come out as extremely interesting in the books.

The Museum Guard
The Bird Artist
The Haunting of L

These three I seem to remember have those sort of romances ingrained in them. The other books he has written can be brilliant but without that central relationship.

Did you see that she got out of an abusive marriage and wants "healthy" and "inspiring" relationships in books?

I would recommend NOT getting an unrealistic picture of romance from FICTION.

Or are you a guy who wants the bar to be in hell. God forbid someone read a book about healthy relationships where characters show interest in each others’ needs and find ways to resolve conflicts in the end.