Asked me 27 year old to move out

[Anonymous]

7 months ago I asked my 27 year old to move out to an apartment so she can start living independently, (her income is about $70,000)
she moved out 2 months ago, and haven't talked to me in months. Every time I called she tells me she's busy....
Was it a bad idea to make her move out? Should I just tell her to move back in, and live home for how long as she wants?

[Anonymous]

Are you White? In a lot of other cultures around the world, AC live with their parents. I am sure that she knows a lot of other people who are living with their parents and are saving significant amounts of their income. Besides, they have the support and human connection at home and may have less anxiety and depression.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you White? In a lot of other cultures around the world, AC live with their parents. I am sure that she knows a lot of other people who are living with their parents and are saving significant amounts of their income. Besides, they have the support and human connection at home and may have less anxiety and depression.

What an odd response.

She's probably just busy, OP. Make a plan and have lunch. Invite her over for Sunday family dinner. Celebrate someone's birthday together. Something.

[Anonymous]

You kicked her out for no apparent reason. Doesn't sound like she was an addict or a loser. She works. That's not a huge income. Budget is probably tight. If you have no need for her, why should she need you? In many cultures (including European ones) children live with parents until marriage. Living with you allows the child to pay down debt, save for a house, and contribute to retirement. It sounds like you went according to a preconceived notion that children must move out by a certain age and you felt embarrassed in front of friends and figured she'd move out and then you could tell your friends how you guys go to lunch and the spa together all the time...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You kicked her out for no apparent reason. Doesn't sound like she was an addict or a loser. She works. That's not a huge income. Budget is probably tight. If you have no need for her, why should she need you? In many cultures (including European ones) children live with parents until marriage. Living with you allows the child to pay down debt, save for a house, and contribute to retirement. It sounds like you went according to a preconceived notion that children must move out by a certain age and you felt embarrassed in front of friends and figured she'd move out and then you could tell your friends how you guys go to lunch and the spa together all the time...

You reap what you sow.

[Anonymous]

You haven’t provided enough detail. What was her reaction when you asked her to move out? Did you have a close relationship before she moved out?

[Anonymous]

Are you a pirate

[Anonymous]

Congrats, you've done your job and your fledgling has flown the coop and is living her life.
You won't be so important in her life for a bit. Don't you remember your 20s? Keep communication lines open but don't pester her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:7 months ago I asked my 27 year old to move out to an apartment so she can start living independently, (her income is about $70,000)
she moved out 2 months ago, and haven't talked to me in months. Every time I called she tells me she's busy....
Was it a bad idea to make her move out? Should I just tell her to move back in, and live home for how long as she wants?

Isn't this what you wanted? She moved out and is independent. Maybe take her word that she is busy? You need to tell us how you asked her to move out and if you asked her how she wanted to keep in touch.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it was unreasonable to ask your daughter, at the age of 27, to move out. I've known a few women who never moved out of their parents' homes and never launched.

That said, I would have advised for some sort of mutual plan towards that goal, giving her a period of time to find a place, time to work out her finances, etc. I hope it wasn't an abrupt "you have to move out by the end of the week" and your daughter was racing to quickly find a place to live?

[Anonymous]

Another stupid post by a stupid person expecting events have to happen a certain way just because.

Best time of my relationship with my parents was living with them after college and after a few years on my own.

We were all adults and enjoyed each other. Learned so much about them I didn’t know as a clueless teen. I discovered Dad had the best sense of humor. I had so many great unplanned talks with my mom – after meals, after watching a little TV, meeting up on the porch.

Too bad you kicked her out just to impose your misguided belief that people should be solitary.

[Anonymous]

Other than finding her own independence, what made you ask her to move out?

[Anonymous]

She may be working several jobs to pay the bills.

[Anonymous]

70k isn't a lot in this area anymore, and she may have to work quite a lot, or have roommates to make it here.

Why did you kick her out?

[Anonymous]

OP, you did the right thing. She will "come back to you" for visits, as it should be.