Anyone else not know how to spend money on themselves?

[Anonymous]

Just turned 40 and a friend sent me $40 in a card, told me to treat myself. And I have no idea what to buy. Nothing feels like a “treat”: clothes I need, spending it on a bottle of wine and chocolates just feels like something I would do anyway, same with buying something at Sephora, Amazon, etc. It’s almost like, what’s a “treat” when you’re 40! Anyone else struggle with this?

[Anonymous]

Just put it toward something you want but don’t buy because of money. Maybe it’s coffee or some other expensive drink you don’t buy usually or a bottle of perfume you want but is too expensive…

[Anonymous]

Save it so you can impulse buy something when it comes up!

[Anonymous]

Ha, I wish! That is so not my problem.

[Anonymous]

I have a 4.0 in spending money on myself. Top of the class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just put it toward something you want but don’t buy because of money. Maybe it’s coffee or some other expensive drink you don’t buy usually or a bottle of perfume you want but is too expensive…

+1 Treat yourself to something decadent. If you can't think of anything then just take yourself out to lunch. Go to an amazing bakery and get an assortment of really expensive desserts.

[Anonymous]

I would use the money to upgrade something I usually do. Like throw in an extra service with a massage, etc.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you are pretty well off so don’t value $40 because you spend on whatever you want already. I suggest a donation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just turned 40 and a friend sent me $40 in a card, told me to treat myself. And I have no idea what to buy. Nothing feels like a “treat”: clothes I need, spending it on a bottle of wine and chocolates just feels like something I would do anyway, same with buying something at Sephora, Amazon, etc. It’s almost like, what’s a “treat” when you’re 40! Anyone else struggle with this?

Yes! I am the same. I’ve had a $100 Zappos gift card from my in-laws for 6 months and I can’t decide what to buy. I’m resisting the urge to just buy kids sneakers with it.

[Anonymous]

Buy someone a gift. If you are that non-materialistic you probably have friends who give and receive more lavishly than you think is reasonable. Here's your chance to impress them, and warm them up to you. Maybe there's someone who already spoils you with gifts you don't really want, despite your protestations. Spoil them back; they'll enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

Outdoor gear (saving up for a kayak and related gear right now, would also buy climbing gear or stuff for my bike), taking half days off work to go to the movies by myself (if there's anything good out, which often there isn't these days, but I did take myself to Barbie this summer and really enjoyed it), tech items (great headphones, an ergonomic mouse for my computer), high quality tea, and sports massages.

The biggest treat for me right now in my 40s is time, and other people taking care of things I normally do. So I also might put that money towards a deep clean of the house, hiring an organizer to come and do my closet, or hiring someone on Fiver or Task Rabbit to do something else I've been putting off.

I also like to buy flowers. That's something I do most weeks and don't need a gift card for, but if someone gave me $40 I'd go splurge on a nicer bouquet than the little $8 bundles from Trader Joe's I usually get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you are pretty well off so don’t value $40 because you spend on whatever you want already. I suggest a donation.

NP. I'm 50 years old, and was joking with my DW the other day that I pretty much just buy anything I want if it's under $300 these days. We're not rich, but doing well financially, and I realize I am lucky to be able to not sweat purchases like this. I still like gift cards to restaurants, the ABC store and appreciate the gesture regardless of the amount. But yeah, I sort of get what you are saying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you are pretty well off so don’t value $40 because you spend on whatever you want already. I suggest a donation.

NP. I'm 50 years old, and was joking with my DW the other day that I pretty much just buy anything I want if it's under $300 these days. We're not rich, but doing well financially, and I realize I am lucky to be able to not sweat purchases like this. I still like gift cards to restaurants, the ABC store and appreciate the gesture regardless of the amount. But yeah, I sort of get what you are saying.

This is me. DH and i both make a lot of money. I buy whatever I want when i want it. But at the same time, i still have my frugal roots and rarely take pleasure in spending $$$ on frivolous things. So i never buy splurges for myself. I'm okay with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you are pretty well off so don’t value $40 because you spend on whatever you want already. I suggest a donation.

NP. I'm 50 years old, and was joking with my DW the other day that I pretty much just buy anything I want if it's under $300 these days. We're not rich, but doing well financially, and I realize I am lucky to be able to not sweat purchases like this. I still like gift cards to restaurants, the ABC store and appreciate the gesture regardless of the amount. But yeah, I sort of get what you are saying.

This is me. DH and i both make a lot of money. I buy whatever I want when i want it. But at the same time, i still have my frugal roots and rarely take pleasure in spending $$$ on frivolous things. So i never buy splurges for myself. I'm okay with it.

I know a person IRL whose personality reminds me a lot of Justin Timberlake. He's smart and successful but there's this intensity underneath that I am wary of. He's the kind of person who, if you even mildly disagree with him in a conversation about anything (even something pretty low key like consumer choices or food), we can become an a$$hole really fast. Super dismissive, or make fun of how your are talking, or start getting really condescending and explaining how you aren't smart enough to have a valid opinion (again, on something mild like what TV to buy or if that new restaurant is good).

I get the exact same vibe from JT. Very smily, friendly, obviously talented and charming, but there's this undercurrent that makes me think he does not take kindly to being contradicted, sharing spotlight, or even just not being deferred to all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you are pretty well off so don’t value $40 because you spend on whatever you want already. I suggest a donation.

NP. I'm 50 years old, and was joking with my DW the other day that I pretty much just buy anything I want if it's under $300 these days. We're not rich, but doing well financially, and I realize I am lucky to be able to not sweat purchases like this. I still like gift cards to restaurants, the ABC store and appreciate the gesture regardless of the amount. But yeah, I sort of get what you are saying.

This is me. DH and i both make a lot of money. I buy whatever I want when i want it. But at the same time, i still have my frugal roots and rarely take pleasure in spending $$$ on frivolous things. So i never buy splurges for myself. I'm okay with it.

I know a person IRL whose personality reminds me a lot of Justin Timberlake. He's smart and successful but there's this intensity underneath that I am wary of. He's the kind of person who, if you even mildly disagree with him in a conversation about anything (even something pretty low key like consumer choices or food), we can become an a$$hole really fast. Super dismissive, or make fun of how your are talking, or start getting really condescending and explaining how you aren't smart enough to have a valid opinion (again, on something mild like what TV to buy or if that new restaurant is good).

I get the exact same vibe from JT. Very smily, friendly, obviously talented and charming, but there's this undercurrent that makes me think he does not take kindly to being contradicted, sharing spotlight, or even just not being deferred to all the time.

Oops, wrong thread! Apologies.