Abusive ex and controlling behavior with kid

[Anonymous]

Ex (who was physically, verbally, financially, emotionally abusive) set up a green light card for tween. Card allows ex to monitor spending and incentivize/control the kid with money; card also allows location tracking. Ex also got kid a wallet and insists kid carry card in wallet everywhere. I find this really troubling. It would not be with a normal person but with him it is making me sick to my stomach.

[Anonymous]

So tell your kid that when he’s with you, the card stays on your nightstand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So tell your kid that when he’s with you, the card stays on your nightstand.

Ex insists that kid carry card in wallet all the time everywhere, even when kid is not with ex/is with me.

[Anonymous]

And clearly intents to reward/punish compliance with money.

[Anonymous]

Teach the kid not to be controlled by money. The card stays in the drawer. You will provide cash for your child's needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So tell your kid that when he’s with you, the card stays on your nightstand.

Ex insists that kid carry card in wallet all the time everywhere, even when kid is not with ex/is with me.

So what? You know the answer here. Just take the card.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So tell your kid that when he’s with you, the card stays on your nightstand.

Ex insists that kid carry card in wallet all the time everywhere, even when kid is not with ex/is with me.

So what? You know the answer here. Just take the card.

Ex might take it out on the kid. OP has to stand up to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So tell your kid that when he’s with you, the card stays on your nightstand.

Ex insists that kid carry card in wallet all the time everywhere, even when kid is not with ex/is with me.

So what? You know the answer here. Just take the card.

Ex might take it out on the kid. OP has to stand up to it.

Ex will definitely take it out on the kid and me.

[Anonymous]

Fyi this is a person who just repeatedly called kid an ahole for unexpectedly beating him at a game of cards.

[Anonymous]

You're still allowing your ex to control you.

[Anonymous]

Ez sounds awful and controlling but I will say my teens and tween and all of their friends have green lights so the card in itself is t a bad thing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ex (who was physically, verbally, financially, emotionally abusive) set up a green light card for tween. Card allows ex to monitor spending and incentivize/control the kid with money; card also allows location tracking. Ex also got kid a wallet and insists kid carry card in wallet everywhere. I find this really troubling. It would not be with a normal person but with him it is making me sick to my stomach.

This doesn't sound abusive. He is allowed to know where his child is. Many of us track our kids. We have our child carry money and apple pay. Eventually we will get them a credit card. Are you giving the child spending money? What's wrong with Dad giving spending money and being involved? Sounds like he cannot do anything right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So tell your kid that when he’s with you, the card stays on your nightstand.

Ex insists that kid carry card in wallet all the time everywhere, even when kid is not with ex/is with me.

It is a good idea for a teen to have access to money at all times in case of emergency. Are you giving them a credit card or access to money?

[Anonymous]

Some PPs are missing the context that this is coming from an ex with a pattern of abuse / control. Get different card for when DC is with you and tell ex that’s how you are doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ex (who was physically, verbally, financially, emotionally abusive) set up a green light card for tween. Card allows ex to monitor spending and incentivize/control the kid with money; card also allows location tracking. Ex also got kid a wallet and insists kid carry card in wallet everywhere. I find this really troubling. It would not be with a normal person but with him it is making me sick to my stomach.

This doesn't sound abusive. He is allowed to know where his child is. Many of us track our kids. We have our child carry money and apple pay. Eventually we will get them a credit card. Are you giving the child spending money? What's wrong with Dad giving spending money and being involved? Sounds like he cannot do anything right.

Not when he is with his other parent, unless that is written into the custody agreement.