Do you have a gay son in college?

[Anonymous]

If so, what is/was it like for him? Did he have a straight roommate freshman year? Was it awkward? Is his college gay friendly? Looking for advice.

[Anonymous]

I used to, but then he graduated. It was fine. Yes, he had straight roommates. He's not super flamboyant and he's still friends with four of his old college roommates so I'm guessing it wasn't too awkward.

[Anonymous]

It’s 2023, OP. College students don’t care if you’re gay.

[Anonymous]

I don't have a gay son, but my straight son's college roommate is gay. They became very good friends and remain so, 3 years after graduation.

[Anonymous]

Thank goodness there are lots of colleges where the majority of students do not care -- including UMD.

UMD Ranked Nation’s No. 1 College for LGBTQ+ Students
https://ischool.umd.edu/news/umd-ranked-nations-no-1-college-for-lgbtq-students/#:~:text=The%20University%20of%20Maryland%20was,supportive%20environments%20for%20LGBTQ%2B%20students.

[Anonymous]

Yes, we do. He’s a senior and didn’t have roommates until this year because of how the college handled COVID, then he had a lottery number to get singles. Now her is sharing a house with a mixed group of friends, gender and orientation wise.

I would not say wrote off of colleges in red states (unless your kid is trans and might find getting medical care hard). He’s happy at a school that’s blue dot in a red state. I would have him explore the campus environment and resources carefully and make sure it’s LGBTQ friendly.

Gay kids don’t need to hang exclusively with gay kids. But it’s a time when their identity and sense of self is developing. Having a cohort of gay peers, no overt hostility to gay students and a supportive admin goes a long way.

[Anonymous]

I don't have a gay son but my DS's roommate is gay. His freshman year roommate was straight and now he's lived in an apartment with my DS and two other straight guys for two years. He's a great guy and universally accepted into the friend group. He is active in the campus' LGBTQ club.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I have a gay son in college. He's always had straight roommates and it's never been awkward or an issue for anyone.

[Anonymous]

My son is a junior and came out to us as bi last year. It has not been an issue as far as I know. He has friends that are straight and gay. He goes to school in a blue state. I feel that college is generally more accepting and open environment (and it seems like a non issue). I worry a bit about after college when he is outside the sheltered college world. My guess is that he will never live on Florida or Texas.

[Anonymous]

Everyone is a little gay in college. He will be fine.

[Anonymous]

OP, most people under 50 don't care about sexual orientation any more, and certainly most college age kids.

[Anonymous]

I do; he is a Freshman in a red state school. The school has a great PRIDE index and he has not had an issue. He did not want gender inclusive housing and went random for his roommate and, thank goodness, no issues whatsoever. He has always found it easier to make friends with girls so I am sure the straight guys in his dorm love it when he shows up with his group of 4 gal pals. He is not super obvious about his orientation but he does not hide it either and so far no complaints. I was very worried about it to be honest and thankfully it has been a non-issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do; he is a Freshman in a red state school. The school has a great PRIDE index and he has not had an issue. He did not want gender inclusive housing and went random for his roommate and, thank goodness, no issues whatsoever. He has always found it easier to make friends with girls so I am sure the straight guys in his dorm love it when he shows up with his group of 4 gal pals. He is not super obvious about his orientation but he does not hide it either and so far no complaints. I was very worried about it to be honest and thankfully it has been a non-issue.

Wow, I never thought about it that way but having a gay roommate is like a gift from God! Also you don’t have to compete with him for the girls in your circle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do; he is a Freshman in a red state school. The school has a great PRIDE index and he has not had an issue. He did not want gender inclusive housing and went random for his roommate and, thank goodness, no issues whatsoever. He has always found it easier to make friends with girls so I am sure the straight guys in his dorm love it when he shows up with his group of 4 gal pals. He is not super obvious about his orientation but he does not hide it either and so far no complaints. I was very worried about it to be honest and thankfully it has been a non-issue.

Wow, I never thought about it that way but having a gay roommate is like a gift from God! Also you don’t have to compete with him for the girls in your circle.

My gay son has always been super social and had a big group of female friends (all his friends other than those he met through his sport have been girls). This probably also helped him make more male friends. However, this means that most of his friends have been straight, and it’s only been recently (he’s a junior) that he’s been dating more and had more gay friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s 2023, OP. College students don’t care if you’re gay.

Depending on the college I agree. My DS is in a Suite with 6 guys with mixed orientations. No one cares.