Is it normal to have a crushes on people that you aren’t married to?
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Anonymous
| A husband admitted to having crushes on some people in our lives, and I am hurt by this. He insists that is normal for people to have crushes but I feel hurt. I have never had a crush on someone else since married for 17 years. Is it insulting? |
Anonymous
| A “crush”, or just an attraction to their looks? Those are two different things. |
Anonymous
| Crush like more than they are just pretty |
Anonymous
| Crushes? Sure, very normal. My husband and I say that you can look at the menu but you can't order. In a healthy relationship, you don't indulge the crush, you don't feed it, you bring that spark home and you let the crush fade. |
Anonymous
| Honestly I don't. |
Anonymous
| Of course it is normal. Your husband has now learned never to tell you about it again. |
Anonymous
| Very normal for me. That doesn’t mean I’m going to act on it or that I love my husband any less. |
Anonymous
| I had a crush on a summer intern (he is married). I have a crush on a particular Trader Joe's cashier. I also have a crush on a guy who sometimes works out at the same time I do. I'm very happily married and would never cheat. |
Anonymous
|
It’s normal. I think attraction just pops up and there isn’t anything you can do about it. I do think that it needs to be nipped in the bud if it’s “a person in your life.” People are way too cavalier about that and affairs are way too common.
Do you feel wanted by your husband? Do you feel like you are special to him, he wants to be around you, etc? If not, that could be why it’s hurtful. It might not just be about the crush. |
Anonymous
| Yes. Normal, imo |
Anonymous
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Yes. It's the only thing that makes monogamy bearable, in my opinion. |
Anonymous
+2 |
Anonymous
| Being married doesn't make other people unattractive |
Anonymous
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I think it's quite normal as long as it's recognized for what it is by the person feeling the crush, and it's never acted on to advance a friendship or acquaintance to be anything more. |
Anonymous
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It's normal but he needs to control his behavior and temptation, and keep his mouth shut about it.
Respect his honesty one time, but he needs a friend to coach social skills. |