Out of control Child threatening parents

[Anonymous]

My 9 year old daughter had had anger/ mental issues for some time-we’ve gotten her diagnosed and working on a. Psychiatric plan. We are out of town and she always has breakdowns and issues when we travel. This week we’ve already had 2 incidents. she started a drama at 6 AM at a hotel and it continued for so long security came to our hotel room door to ask us to keep it down. We are on a cruise we had to restrain her as she was biting, hitting, kicking throwing things etc. she called the emergency number on the phone and said “my parents are hurting me” security came to our door and said we are recording this conversation and she claimed we were hitting her etc we had to explain she’s got diagnosed anger issues etc and having a breakdown. This was the scariest situation and we are are a loss of what to do. She is a pathological liar and now we’re worried her lies could ruin our family and get our kids taken from us. What do we do here? The therapist we’ve been seeing for a year is aware of her violent behavior do we need to ask her for documentation to show she has a history this behavior?

[Anonymous]

Since she has issues when you travel and you can’t control them, you might want to rethink your decision to travel. I’d be really careful about taking her off the boat in a different country. If she breaks down you have no idea how the legal system would handle it.

[Anonymous]

Kids like this can’t go on cruises, for one thing. That has to stop. It’s really hard on the family because you never vacation together, but until she has significantly stabilized, you need to stop putting her in situations she cannot handle. That’s going to be a hard failure.

Second of all, as far as telling lies about that he family, you need to recognize this as the illness it is. She is probably severely unwell mentally and may very well perceive you as harming her. So, what you need to do is report the threats to her psychiatrist and push for a treatment plan. Obviously what you have isn’t working, so maybe if your doctor isn’t helping, it’s time to switch.

Good luck. It is very hard.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like she shouldn’t travel.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like Bpd.

[Anonymous]

I would fly her back with one parent now. Fwiw I’m sorry.

[Anonymous]

Good neuropsych. She may need medication. No more traveling. I'd go home.

[Anonymous]

Expect this behavior to escalate as she gets bigger and older and you will be even less able to control her. I agree with others that your traveling ought to be very carefully thought out and should not include hotels or cruises and I would include airplanes. Like maybe rent a house or a cabin in the woods. If she improves as time goes on then you might be able to expand your options. Deal with what you have now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like she shouldn’t travel.

You will have to travel without her, hiring someone to stay at home with her. Or you rent a Airbnb home so you don’t have to worry about disturbing other guests. Sorry, it’s hard and expensive. We have traveled very little compared to our friends and family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like Bpd.

What? She is way too young.

To me it sounds like she might have severe ADHD and/or ASD. Has she had a neuropsychological exam?

These outburst are very common for kids who are ND and realize there is something "wrong" with them but don't know what and cannot regulate emotionally.

I think you should a0 get her tested ASAP and b) either talk to her psychiatrist about a mood stabilizer like Lamictal or Abilify.

Another option is a PHP for a week or two where they will see her every day and be able to evaluate and try out different meds.

GL.

We had a similar situation with my DD, although not as intense. Much better place now that we have a DX and the right meds.

[Anonymous]

PP --wanted to add that what you call pathological lying is very, very common with kids who ADHD.

I urge you to find the love and compassion for your DD who is clearly suffering mentally. You have expectations on her to act normally when she may not be cognitively able to do so. This would cause her an incredible amount of stress and may be why she is acting out so horribly.

This goes way beyond seeing a therapist. You need psychiatric input and testing to see if she is ND.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if you're not supporting her properly. Bringing her on a cruise was such a profoundly poor choice that it makes me question how you manage everything else. Are you guys working with a therapist too?

[Anonymous]

This must be a troll. Why on earth would you think a cruise was a good idea with this kind of kid?! You're setting her up for failure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like Bpd.

What? She is way too young.

To me it sounds like she might have severe ADHD and/or ASD. Has she had a neuropsychological exam?

These outburst are very common for kids who are ND and realize there is something "wrong" with them but don't know what and cannot regulate emotionally.

I think you should a0 get her tested ASAP and b) either talk to her psychiatrist about a mood stabilizer like Lamictal or Abilify.

Another option is a PHP for a week or two where they will see her every day and be able to evaluate and try out different meds.

GL.

We had a similar situation with my DD, although not as intense. Much better place now that we have a DX and the right meds.

She's not to young to have it but the DSM will not diagnose at that age but its not appropriate to diagnose a strangers kid off the internet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This must be a troll. Why on earth would you think a cruise was a good idea with this kind of kid?! You're setting her up for failure.

May not be a troll but not good judgement either. If kid doesn't travel well, you don't vacation.