Those who used a donor egg and/or older mothers, are you happy with decision?

[BBT]

I am looking to hear experiences as I know no one who has used a donor egg and we have very few parents in our friend group. After the child is born, how often do you think about not sharing a genetic link?

If you were in your 40s when you had a child, are you glad you did it? We do not have children and I am 43. I worry about not having the energy to be a parent and worry about being in my 60s when the child graduates from high school.

[Anonymous]

I had my daughter at 41 via ivf. I wouldn’t change a thing (nor could I since that’s how it all worked out!)

[Anonymous]

I had my only children -twin boys - one month after my 45th birthday. It was the best decision of my life.

[Anonymous]

It’s just too old man. I’m sorry. It’s not the right thing to do to kids.

[Anonymous]

I had donor egg twins at age 40. They are 12 now. They are very much my babies. The only time I think about genetics is if it comes up in conversation - like "I am the descendant of slaves from Barbados and the donor was the descendent of slaves from Puerto Rico. Isn't that interesting?

With regard to having kids in my forties. It has definitely kept me young. I do martial arts with the boys, open water long distance swimming, and x-country skiing. I didn't grow up doing those sports and I don't think I would be so into them without my kids.

[Anonymous]

I had a donor egg baby at 45. We are ecstatically happy. The only regret we have is that it took so long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a donor egg baby at 45. We are ecstatically happy. The only regret we have is that it took so long.

Oh, and the lack of a genetic connection never crossed my mind after birth.

[Anonymous]

Personally, no, I wouldn't risk my life (which is what it is every time we give birth) to give birth to a child that is not mine genetically. I'm 38 and IVF sucks I already know that if it doesn't work I'm stopping before 40.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally, no, I wouldn't risk my life (which is what it is every time we give birth) to give birth to a child that is not mine genetically. I'm 38 and IVF sucks I already know that if it doesn't work I'm stopping before 40.

OP is asking for experiences, not your opinion.

[Anonymous]

Had my second DD at 40 via IVF. She makes me so happy and very thankful for IVF.

[Anonymous]

Of course I’m happy! I have two gorgeous, brilliant and healthy, happy kids! I never really think about them being from a donor. Not any more. They are my kids. I love them completely. Age isn’t a big deal since none of us know how long we have, a young parent could die young, etc. no guarantees in life. Happy to have my family.,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally, no, I wouldn't risk my life (which is what it is every time we give birth) to give birth to a child that is not mine genetically. I'm 38 and IVF sucks I already know that if it doesn't work I'm stopping before 40.

I’m giving birth to a baby that isn’t genetically mine and I feel nothing but feel love for this baby. This is my baby.

She’s genetically my wife’s baby, so the situation is a little different. But the other half of your baby’s DNA is someone we’ve never met. It makes no different to us. Maybe because we went into it knowing we could never both biologically be related.

But I do think straight people become far too obsessed with genetics.

[Anonymous]

Had mine at 47. Super happy with the decision. sometimes when I see kids who are spitting images of their parent, I think about it otherwise its a non issue. (But truth be told my mother was always quietly resentful that I look like my father not her so no guarantees of being a spitting image even you are genetically related )

[Anonymous]

I had my first, with no intervention, at 40. Had second with frozen DE at 45. No regrets about age--in Bethesda you see a lot of older parents and I am in very good shape and feel good. I do, however, think about the DE thing. YMMV if there is only one. At your age go straight for frozen to have baby as quick and easily as possible. DE frozen in a cake walk compared to true IVF.

[Anonymous]

My wife had our daughter at 48 and she has a boatload of medical conditions. We used fresh donor eggs and was successful on the first try. Her pregnancy was very easy until maybe the final month when preeclampsia set in.
No regrets about the donor egg decision.
What also makes us a little sad is that we have 2 frozen female embryos and 1 frozen male embryo sitting in storage that will never be used.