Anyone’s marriage bounced back from serious divorce talk?

[Anonymous]

We are attempting reconciliation… no adultery, addiction, abuse. But serious talk of divorce. Two young elementary kids. Has anyone made it back from the brink?

[Anonymous]

Are you or your spouse talking about divorce?

[Anonymous]

Since you want to divorce, just divorce. Don't make threats which will cause more harm in the marriage.

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

I have a good friend who actually separated for a while and then got back together and it’s been 20 years and they seem happy.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know, but this is where we are too.

[Anonymous]

No. And in hindsight I wish that I had just ended it then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. And in hindsight I wish that I had just ended it then.

So true

[Anonymous]

We did, similar situation (no cheating or anything) but we just weren't making each other happy. Kids were 9 and 6 at the time. We had a lot of conversations about what we each felt would help and managed to work things out. Hope you're able to do the same, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We did, similar situation (no cheating or anything) but we just weren't making each other happy. Kids were 9 and 6 at the time. We had a lot of conversations about what we each felt would help and managed to work things out. Hope you're able to do the same, OP.

How is it now?

[Anonymous]

I yelled some not-serious divorce stuff several months ago and my marriage has not recovered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did, similar situation (no cheating or anything) but we just weren't making each other happy. Kids were 9 and 6 at the time. We had a lot of conversations about what we each felt would help and managed to work things out. Hope you're able to do the same, OP.

How is it now?

It's good now. One thing I'll say...some people thing the whole "love languages" thing is cheesy, but it helped us understand each other's expectations. Another thing that helped was resuming our date nights, something we'd given up because of the pandemic.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely, if you can both admit that you both can be a little wrong and immature (at any age and stupid).
And more importantly do you still love each other? Really?
Can each admit without any defensive protection that "I was wrong"
And without a "but"?

Especially when no one is looking and you post on an anonymous forum.

[Anonymous]

Yes, friends separated in 2020 or early 21. In’s spouse moved out. Counseling, therapy, time. They are now back together with more tolls in the toolkit and seem good. Two kids in muddy school/early high school motivated them.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Kids are hard. This is an extremely common time for divorce thoughts. If you work together and make serious tradeoffs about how to care for your kids, careers, etc, you can pull through. Divorce cures a bad marriage, not a hard life.