Mid-life joy practices?

[Anonymous]

Hey DCUM- in this forum, lots of us are surfing a pretty intense season of life (caretaking kids/parents/life partners, being leaders in your profession/running businesses, etc…) plus just navigating this world that seems simultaneously on the cusp of destruction or a new enlightened societal evolution.

With all the above, what do you do for joy and to keep optimism in your life?

Mine: 1) Dance my soul out at a show/party/concert every few months or with my big old school headphones while puttering in the house

2) Grow stuff and not make it precious (lettuce, flowers, right now squash) There is something about planting a seed and seeing that “pop” and peek of a little green tendril that gives me a seratonin hit.

3) Talk to strangers- compliment people in a coffee shop on their glasses/sneakers/etc…, while waiting in line at grocery store, ask about the last movie/tv show they saw and what they thought- seeing people get animated and smile makes me happy. People are way more friendly than we sometimes give each other the time for in the DMV.

4) Take a Power Nap with my favorite pet or pillow (if one of our cats is not into a nap)- 10 minutes and I have a whole new mindset. The world seems much brighter after a nap.

Thanks for sharing your practices and wish everyone a bit of a joy today-

[Anonymous]

I love these - For me, more superficial things (sadly) but I get such a lift from a delicious latte and/or a new lip gloss. Just something small for just me.

I will try and cultivate more of these sorts of habits. I like the idea of having them centered on "joy" rather than "health" or "sanity."

[Anonymous]

I look for contentment as well as joy. Getting outside, walking/hiking, gardening, meditation, beach, checking out the night sky, spending time with a friend and parts of my family, little kids/babies/toddlers just being themselves, new ideas and sharing them.

I think that part of joy or contentment is to take a minute to acknowledge that you're engaged in something that makes you happy.

[Anonymous]

I have decided that i need to embrace things that I enjoy and make me happy, regardless of how “good” i am. I have recently taken up a sport that i will never, ever win any awards for. But i enjoy it, make time to do it regularly, and “exercise gives you endorphins // endorphins make you happy // happy people don’t just kill their [fill in the blank]” ya know?

I enjoy my garden and so do the rabbits or whatever got all my lettuce.

I have started taking a little bit of time to sit outside and just be. Maybe with a book or a cold drink. Right now I am at the pool without my kids. It’s been THIRTEEN YEARS since I’ve done this and just a couple hours without responsibility has been incredibly refreshing.

[Anonymous]

One of my favorites is the five senses meditation, where you stop and really take note of what you’re seeing, smelling, tasting, hearing etc. This is especially good when outside.

A perfectly prepared cup of coffee. Clean sheets (percale). Early morning walk. An easy knitting project. Tulips that come up in the spring. Simple things that can be enjoyed over and over.

I am a cancer patient so these little joys have been a lifeline.

[Anonymous]

Please send more - I need some inspiration. So far my main one is my garden. I have a cottage-style pollinator garden. Each year it fills in more. I like to gaze at it and water it slowly with an old fashioned watering can. I also like to swim at my parents’ apartment outdoor pool at dusk, under the trees.

And while I don’t always enjoy the process, I love feeling strong and fit thanks to weightlifting.

[Anonymous]

1. I dote on the pets. We have nontraditional pets (snake, etc) and I enjoy researching ways to enrich their lives and observing their reactions to that and their alien way of being. Animals are very grounding and a good reminder of how to exist while living in the moment.

2. Being in water. Pool, ocean, hot tub, etc. I would like to try a sensory deprivation tank at some point

3. Yoga and weight lifting classes, haircuts, general self care, A new lipstick as another PP suggested, etc.

4. Good books about subjects completely unrelated to anything in my life

5. Art projects like embroidery. Going to see Art, whether it is in the museum or a craft fair or whatever

6. Regularly writing to old friends, even if it’s just a quick email to say hi. It doesn’t need to be fancy. Scheduling lunches or coffees with people at work or people I used to work with.

7. This weekend is the Perseid meteor shower. Go take a look! Watching the night sky can be very joyful

8. Sometimes I just pick like a square foot of the ground and carefully examine everything in it, looking at all the little insects and plants. This is enjoyable. To see all these little things making their way in the universe.

[Anonymous]

Making music

Dancing

Gardening

Cultivating awe or wonder. Check out Dacher Keltner’s book on awe.

[Anonymous]

Solo salsa dance to Despacito around my house.

[Anonymous]

Ballroom dancing with my boyfriend.

We really like the Latin dances and swing.

[Anonymous]

Switching my commute to an ebike was the biggest change I made in my daily joy. It's impossible to not be happy after a bike ride, especially on a beautiful morning.

[Anonymous]

Today:

Had a friend over for a morning visit. Didn’t have eggs. Ate roasted chicken and fruit salad. The visit was 90 mins and so wonderful.

Then has a 90 min full body massage. First one since June. Wow did I need that.

Followed by a visit to the apothecary for supplements and made a nice salad for dinner.

Took myself to see Beyonce in concert over the weekend. A selfie date. Met an 80 year old woman who was also there alone. I’m 62. She had recently seen Santana and other performances.

[Anonymous]

Adding to the dancing, I have a mini- trampoline and often turn on music to dance/aerobics on that.

Reading books (historical fiction or biographies) about women who should have been in the history books but were ignored. For some reason it feels good to know what they did.

I have two where no one cares or asks each other what we all do for a living. Or talks about work. It’s amazingly refreshing and relaxing to just talk about our hobby and disconnect from work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Today:

Had a friend over for a morning visit. Didn’t have eggs. Ate roasted chicken and fruit salad. The visit was 90 mins and so wonderful.

Then has a 90 min full body massage. First one since June. Wow did I need that.

Followed by a visit to the apothecary for supplements and made a nice salad for dinner.

Took myself to see Beyonce in concert over the weekend. A selfie date. Met an 80 year old woman who was also there alone. I’m 62. She had recently seen Santana and other performances.

I want to meet that 80 YO woman. She sounds like someone I’d like to be. For that matter, I’d like to meet you, PP!

[Anonymous]

We installed a sauna. Fantastically relaxing.