Little Hunting swim team: mean boys?

[Anonymous]

We are members at Little Hunting and my kids are not on the swim team. We don't know many people at the pool and me/my kids have tried to make friends and break in, but haven't felt very socially welcomed by the other moms and their kids. I haven't been treated badly by the other moms but when I have been clearly trying to join the conversation in the pool, I was largely ignored. That's fine, they are friends and didn't feel like making small talk with someone new. My real problem has been with the boys on the swim team. There have been multiple occasions when my son tried to join them in playing and he was explicitly rejected (for example, "we won't let you dive" or "you can't join us, if you try then we will tackle you").

Is this normal swim club behavior? For those who don't know, Little Hunting is just a regular pool and I'm just surprised at the behavior, but maybe I am naive.

[Anonymous]

This has nothing to do with swim team.

This is just poor manners by these children and possibly sub-standard parenting but who knows. Try posting to the general parenting or elementary age forums here for better suggestions on how you and your child might best approach this situation.

[Anonymous]

I grew up going to that pool and that’s how it was then. I quit the swim team because of that but managed to make great memories and went almost daily for years. Fast forward to when we moved back to the area and I joined the pool as an adult with young kids. The social scene was even worse than I remembered. It is the cliquiest group of people anywhere. My kids tried to join the swim team and the kids (and parents) were awful. We quit. It was just before Covid and we didn’t get anything back and I can’t remember why but we couldn’t sell our membership. It was still worth it to switch pools bc now my kids have all done swim team and have lovely pool friends, and the adults are friendly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
This has nothing to do with swim team.

This is just poor manners by these children and possibly sub-standard parenting but who knows. Try posting to the general parenting or elementary age forums here for better suggestions on how you and your child might best approach this situation.

I'm not sure I agree with you because the behavior is from the swim team kids and swim team parents.

[Anonymous]

Every pool has a roving pack of boys who are obnoxious and feral and make the whole experience unpleasant. They are constantly at the pool because their parents can't bear them in the house. It has nothing to do with the swim team even though most of them ARE on it. We ignore these kids and invite a friend weekly to hang out with our kid at the pool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
This has nothing to do with swim team.

This is just poor manners by these children and possibly sub-standard parenting but who knows. Try posting to the general parenting or elementary age forums here for better suggestions on how you and your child might best approach this situation.

I disagree. My experience has been that swim team families are very cliquish. If you are not part of the team you can feel a bit ostracized. Certainly not speaking for all pools, but this was our experience.

[Anonymous]

I'm not at little hunting park, but know families there and they tend to be the opposite of cliquish. The people we know are through DD's winter swim so mostly the girls side, but I think they are generally friendly people. I think, in general, for kids summer swim becomes cliquish because they are practicing together 5 mornings a week and then a bunch end up staying at the pool together all day every day.

[Anonymous]

I belong to that pool. I don't really like the social scene there, but I am very introverted. I don't feel anyone has been mean so much as not people I have much in common with. My child has never done the swim team. He goes to school with two kids on it, the girl is perfectly nice and the boy is truly awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
This has nothing to do with swim team.

This is just poor manners by these children and possibly sub-standard parenting but who knows. Try posting to the general parenting or elementary age forums here for better suggestions on how you and your child might best approach this situation.

I disagree. My experience has been that swim team families are very cliquish. If you are not part of the team you can feel a bit ostracized. Certainly not speaking for all pools, but this was our experience.

I agree, same at our neighborhood pool. Also, working moms that don't hang out on weekdays also were very welcomed. Eventually my kids joined the swim team and I had a summer sitter while I worked. I never made friends, but my kids did.

[Anonymous]

In terms of making friends, I didn't do so the first few years we belonged, but things changed when my child joined the tennis team. I don't ever see the people outside of the pool, but they are friendlier when I see them there now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every pool has a roving pack of boys who are obnoxious and feral and make the whole experience unpleasant. They are constantly at the pool because their parents can't bear them in the house. It has nothing to do with the swim team even though most of them ARE on it. We ignore these kids and invite a friend weekly to hang out with our kid at the pool.

I agree with this 100% my DD is a lifeguard and the boys are a PITA and they are left unsupervised and they're worse since covid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not at little hunting park, but know families there and they tend to be the opposite of cliquish. The people we know are through DD's winter swim so mostly the girls side, but I think they are generally friendly people. I think, in general, for kids summer swim becomes cliquish because they are practicing together 5 mornings a week and then a bunch end up staying at the pool together all day every day.

OP here and this might be it. We know a few other families who belong to LHP and they are really great people (they aren't close friends and our kids are different ages so don't tend to play together). It must be the swim team clique thing. That's perfectly fine, but I'm surprised at the nastiness. Two summers in a row, my kids have attempted to join activities (like a pick-up game on the volleyball court or a cannonball competition) and were basically told to get out or there would be consequences. The parents (usually the moms) are in the pool socializing and the boys are just running around unchecked.

[Anonymous]

you are part of the problem if you make an anonymous post about children like this

[Anonymous]

I've been to the pool and have friends who belong there. It does seem really cliqueish. There is a big pack of kids who go to an Old Town private school and their parents are pretty snobby about it, it has been reported.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
This has nothing to do with swim team.

This is just poor manners by these children and possibly sub-standard parenting but who knows. Try posting to the general parenting or elementary age forums here for better suggestions on how you and your child might best approach this situation.

Most people read by “recent topics” so not sure posting this elsewhere will get you a different result