Just curious, what can a determined and knowledgeable person find out about you online?

[Anonymous]

I just broke up with a guy who used to work for one of the agencies. He told me he had done a thorough online search on me. He'd bring info on my parents (both deceased) and XDH, none of which I had told him, into our conversations. There were a few reasons for the break-up, but one of the reasons was that when I said this creeped me out, his answer was "What do you have to hide?" I have nothing to hide, thank you.

But what might he have learned about me? The obvious linked in stuff and my house value from Zillow or Redfin, of course. But credit scores? Info about my family member who got into trouble with the law? Even though this guy is now out of the picture, I'm still creeped out about this.

[Anonymous]

A quick chat with his supervisor can solve this problem. It is illegal for him to use his access for non-work reasons.

[Anonymous]

You should really report him. They're not allowed to use company resources for personal gain/interests.

[Anonymous]

That is so creepy and controlling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A quick chat with his supervisor can solve this problem. It is illegal for him to use his access for non-work reasons.

Thanks. Just to be clear, I put he "used to work" for one of the agencies because he's no longer there. It's conceivable he got a friend who's still there to do the digging, but I'd hope anybody still at the agency would refuse.

[Anonymous]

As a regular person who is good at internet sleuthing, I likely could have connected dots to find the info you mentioned. Your parents, ex DH, address, family legal issues…that’s all pretty easy to find and available for free if you have time, patience, and maybe above average critical thinking skills. Just because he works for an agency doesn’t mean he used those tools.

[Anonymous]

My neighbor works at "one of the agencies" and is definitely like this. Unsurprisingly, he lives alone. You dodged a bullet, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A quick chat with his supervisor can solve this problem. It is illegal for him to use his access for non-work reasons.

Thanks. Just to be clear, I put he "used to work" for one of the agencies because he's no longer there. It's conceivable he got a friend who's still there to do the digging, but I'd hope anybody still at the agency would refuse.

OP again. And to clarify still further, he probably (unless he had in-house help) did all his own digging online. So I'm wondering what all he might have dug up. Again, I don't have anything to hide. I'm just feeling like a need to take a shower every time I think about this and am hoping you'll all tell me that all he can find is my Linked-in page and my house value.

[Anonymous]

It seems like he may have been issuing whatever databases he has access to at work to get info, which is far more than any “regular” person has access to. These agencies obviously don’t advertise all of the info that they have access to on individual citizens.

Anyone can find out where you or a family member live, how much was paid for a house, how much the initial mortgage was, what the property taxes are, and any past or current court activity. Some jurisdictions make it easier than others. In Maryland, all of the land records for all counties are online and you can freely look them up if you have someone’s name (this is how you find out how much someone’s initial mortgage was). In Virginia, it is dependent on county. In Loudoun County for example, if you want that same information for free, you have to physically go to the court house. If you’re willing to pay for a subscription, you can do it from home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a regular person who is good at internet sleuthing, I likely could have connected dots to find the info you mentioned. Your parents, ex DH, address, family legal issues…that’s all pretty easy to find and available for free if you have time, patience, and maybe above average critical thinking skills. Just because he works for an agency doesn’t mean he used those tools.

This.

That said, I wouldn't admit to it, much less brag about it. I check out the parents of kids my kids are close with, the boyfriends of my close friends, a new boss I couldn't stand, etc... I'm certain that if I were dating these days I'd be googling for as much info as I could find (without paying for it). I think it's kind of human nature.

[Anonymous]

You can find a ton about people online.

Addresses, email addresses, phone numbers, siblings, family, some criminal stuff etc.

And this is without even trying too hard. None of the stuff you listed sounds that difficult.

There are also paid services that can identify you in pictures that you might not even be aware exist.

[Anonymous]

I remember back in ‘86 (yesss, I know I am THAT old!) a popular actress at the time, Rebecca Schaffer was gunned down by a crazed fan after he found her address from DMV records.

At that time, laws were immediately put on the books to ensure people’s addresses were no longer so easy to find so another tragedy like that would never occur again.

That is…..until the Internet was born!
I Google myself & am still dismayed that not only is my address available online (free!) but also my actual apartment unit no.#

I wish there were privacy laws in tact but in 2023 that is only a pipe dream now.

Your ex (I agree - you dodged a bullet w/this guy!) likely could have gotten his hands on the info on his own, away from work.

[Anonymous]

You can find out anything, especially if you are willing to pay a fee. You can find names, addresses, tax records, relatives, see yearbooks, marriage and divorce records, genealogy, sometimes salary, etc. It's ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a regular person who is good at internet sleuthing, I likely could have connected dots to find the info you mentioned. Your parents, ex DH, address, family legal issues…that’s all pretty easy to find and available for free if you have time, patience, and maybe above average critical thinking skills. Just because he works for an agency doesn’t mean he used those tools.

This.

That said, I wouldn't admit to it, much less brag about it. I check out the parents of kids my kids are close with, the boyfriends of my close friends, a new boss I couldn't stand, etc... I'm certain that if I were dating these days I'd be googling for as much info as I could find (without paying for it). I think it's kind of human nature.

I do this too, but I think we are probably on the creepier side of normal. I would NEVER admit that I did it. That’s the weirdest part about this guy. He got some kind of enjoyment out of telling OP what he knew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a regular person who is good at internet sleuthing, I likely could have connected dots to find the info you mentioned. Your parents, ex DH, address, family legal issues…that’s all pretty easy to find and available for free if you have time, patience, and maybe above average critical thinking skills. Just because he works for an agency doesn’t mean he used those tools.

This.

That said, I wouldn't admit to it, much less brag about it. I check out the parents of kids my kids are close with, the boyfriends of my close friends, a new boss I couldn't stand, etc... I'm certain that if I were dating these days I'd be googling for as much info as I could find (without paying for it). I think it's kind of human nature.

No, it's YOUR particular kind of nature. I don't do that and no one who is close to me does that.