Hospital Drama

[Anonymous]

A distant relative recently had a stroke and is currently in the hospital. Her new husband of 2 years is acting completely crazy and blocking the family from receiving any information about her health, not allowing people to see her and generally creating chaos and anger. She is now recovering and not incapacitated, but the family would prefer not to bring all of this drama to her while she is recovering.

The family has already received a signed medical POA, but I don't believe those will mean much unless she is incapacitated and cannot make her own decisions.

Just today her family learned that is the controlling her phone, essentially cutting off communication with her family when they are not in the room with her.

Is there anything that can be done (legally or otherwise) to make him stop acting crazy, ignoring her family and cutting her off from everyone. There is concern that some of the "advice" he is putting into her ear may not be the best for her health. The family has known her and her medical situation for her whole life, whereas he has known her for a few years.

[Anonymous]

As she is a distant relative to you, this is not your issue to solve.

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As she is a distant relative to you, this is not your issue to solve.

This. If you suspect abuse, call social services; otherwise, this isn’t an issue for you to create drama around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As she is a distant relative to you, this is not your issue to solve.

This. If you suspect abuse, call social services; otherwise, this isn’t an issue for you to create drama around.

Thanks. They actually called me for advice. Was just checking if there was anything that I might have been missing. Definitely not intending to get in the middle of the nasty group chat.

[Anonymous]

Are you sure he’s not acting at her direction? Maybe she doesn’t want her family involved in her medical care. It’s hard to tell what the story is. Your post makes it seem like the family is nosy and overbearing and that’s amplified by the fact that you’re a “distant relative” who is not seeking advice on how to get involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure he’s not acting at her direction? Maybe she doesn’t want her family involved in her medical care. It’s hard to tell what the story is. Your post makes it seem like the family is nosy and overbearing and that’s amplified by the fact that you’re a “distant relative” who is not seeking advice on how to get involved.

Yes, I'm sure. She already signed a POA in favor of her family. They are worried because he is doing things like convincing her not to take her medicine etc and they just want to be aware of what is going on, but he is running heavy interference. It all sounds bizarre and stressful.

They only asked me because I have a legal background and they think that means I know something lol.

[Anonymous]

Buy her a separate phone and give the hospital the POA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Buy her a separate phone and give the hospital the POA.

Could you forward the Power of Attorney document to the social work department at the hospital?

[Anonymous]

Does she have children or close relatives?

[Anonymous]

Not letting her take her medicines?? How much inheritance would he get if she pops it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does she have children or close relatives?

She has no children. She's in her mid thirties. Parents and sister are the ones trying to manage/tolerate the husband.

[Anonymous]

Have the family with the POA make sure the physician of record knows who is responsible for making these decisions. If a social worker is available, they are often able to help in these situations, have a discussion. If she is stable, have the immediate family with POA have the conversation after discharge with the I’ll family member and then see if she was aware of limitations by husband and what her preferences are. She is an adult and should be making decisions for herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As she is a distant relative to you, this is not your issue to solve.

This. If you suspect abuse, call social services; otherwise, this isn’t an issue for you to create drama around.

Thanks. They actually called me for advice. Was just checking if there was anything that I might have been missing. Definitely not intending to get in the middle of the nasty group chat.

Oh, wow. This sounds much worse than the original post I was responding to above. I think the family needs to go visit her in person to ask her directly if she is okay. If she is feeling abused, they should remove her from the situation. If she is still able to make decisions on her own, she should be given that oppty. The idea of getting her a new phone is a good idea, too.

This sounds awful. Does she have money that the husband is hoping to inherit if he shortens her life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As she is a distant relative to you, this is not your issue to solve.

This. If you suspect abuse, call social services; otherwise, this isn’t an issue for you to create drama around.

Thanks. They actually called me for advice. Was just checking if there was anything that I might have been missing. Definitely not intending to get in the middle of the nasty group chat.

Oh, wow. This sounds much worse than the original post I was responding to above. I think the family needs to go visit her in person to ask her directly if she is okay. If she is feeling abused, they should remove her from the situation. If she is still able to make decisions on her own, she should be given that oppty. The idea of getting her a new phone is a good idea, too.

This sounds awful. Does she have money that the husband is hoping to inherit if he shortens her life?

Thanks, unfortunately it got worse yesterday. I think you are hitting on the key point though. She is going to have to build up enough strength to assert herself with these choices. Everything else is kind of dancing around that issue. Apparently it's been a difficult home life these last few years.

Her family is well off. Not sure how much she herself has.