Staying in humiliating position while job hunting

[Anonymous]

I’ve been at my company for 2.5y. My current boss clearly does not like me. I work insanely hard but for whatever reason she is not interested in setting me up for any success. I am berated by various stakeholders on a daily basis bc the company is so toxic - but ultimately have little power to fix problems bc my boss has not structured my team so that I can respond to needs. She won’t answer my emails or tell me when she’s in town. Yesterday she let someone else on the team present our joint offering, solo, to the board. I was - floored. I have been job hunting furiously for months - over a year - but it’s hard bc I am quite senior. How can I suck it up? I feel like I am going crazy just watching all this unfold.

[Anonymous]

I have been there op. Can you talk to your boss?

[Anonymous]

Oof. I'm so sorry.

[Anonymous]

You have to stop caring while continuing to do enough work to stay employed. Focus your emotional energies on your job search.

I am sorry. I know it sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have to stop caring while continuing to do enough work to stay employed. Focus your emotional energies on your job search.

I am sorry. I know it sucks.

I agree. Stop caring. Water off a duck's back. Take initiative you wouldn't otherwise have. Maybe you'll do a better job in the last few months in this post knowing you have nothing to lose and that you'll be out soon.

[Anonymous]

Is she threatened? I had a situation like that and the red flag that makes me ask is that the other person, not you, presented to the board. Presumably the presentation was not different because another person presented, but your profile with Board would have been.

Everyone else saw it and I didn't want to believe it at first but eventually it became obvious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been at my company for 2.5y. My current boss clearly does not like me. I work insanely hard but for whatever reason she is not interested in setting me up for any success. I am berated by various stakeholders on a daily basis bc the company is so toxic - but ultimately have little power to fix problems bc my boss has not structured my team so that I can respond to needs. She won’t answer my emails or tell me when she’s in town. Yesterday she let someone else on the team present our joint offering, solo, to the board. I was - floored. I have been job hunting furiously for months - over a year - but it’s hard bc I am quite senior. How can I suck it up? I feel like I am going crazy just watching all this unfold.

Talk to HR. You may be experiencing age discrimination.

[Anonymous]

When I went through this, I had a mantra when things went poorly. “This is why I am leaving.” But, was able to stick it out and negotiate a good job offer instead of quitting and leaving the good people I left behind in the lurch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been at my company for 2.5y. My current boss clearly does not like me. I work insanely hard but for whatever reason she is not interested in setting me up for any success. I am berated by various stakeholders on a daily basis bc the company is so toxic - but ultimately have little power to fix problems bc my boss has not structured my team so that I can respond to needs. She won’t answer my emails or tell me when she’s in town. Yesterday she let someone else on the team present our joint offering, solo, to the board. I was - floored. I have been job hunting furiously for months - over a year - but it’s hard bc I am quite senior. How can I suck it up? I feel like I am going crazy just watching all this unfold.

Talk to HR. You may be experiencing age discrimination.

HR won't help OP with some vague complaint about my-boss-is-mean-it-might-be-age-discrimination-thing; HR is there to protect the company, not the employees. People who forget that and run to HR are usually quite disappointed at best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been at my company for 2.5y. My current boss clearly does not like me. I work insanely hard but for whatever reason she is not interested in setting me up for any success. I am berated by various stakeholders on a daily basis bc the company is so toxic - but ultimately have little power to fix problems bc my boss has not structured my team so that I can respond to needs. She won’t answer my emails or tell me when she’s in town. Yesterday she let someone else on the team present our joint offering, solo, to the board. I was - floored. I have been job hunting furiously for months - over a year - but it’s hard bc I am quite senior. How can I suck it up? I feel like I am going crazy just watching all this unfold.

I've been there too. You're going to have to have tunnel vision until you find something else, meaning just focus on the fact that this current job is just here to pay your bills - nothing more, nothing less. Do not have any higher expectations so that you will not experience daily disappointment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she threatened? I had a situation like that and the red flag that makes me ask is that the other person, not you, presented to the board. Presumably the presentation was not different because another person presented, but your profile with Board would have been.

Everyone else saw it and I didn't want to believe it at first but eventually it became obvious.

I don’t think so… I really think she just does not like me. Does not understand what value I bring, just isn’t a fan. It’s a bummer bc I really am hardworking and try hard. But daily these situations happen which are just kind of egregious and any time I try to ‘hide’ I end up being dragged into an all day mtg where boss and someone else move team members out from under me or surprise me with some other terrible new thing.
Maybe I am terrible at my job. It’s entirely possible. Either way I am trying to intv as fast as possible but slow going at senior levels

[Anonymous]

Have you tried having a semi honest conversation with your boss? What kind of people does she seem to like? Is it possible to maneuver over her?

[Anonymous]

All the best... I hope you find something that doesnt bring you such angst.
If you are bad at your job, she is too, for not letting you know what exactly is going wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been at my company for 2.5y. My current boss clearly does not like me. I work insanely hard but for whatever reason she is not interested in setting me up for any success. I am berated by various stakeholders on a daily basis bc the company is so toxic - but ultimately have little power to fix problems bc my boss has not structured my team so that I can respond to needs. She won’t answer my emails or tell me when she’s in town. Yesterday she let someone else on the team present our joint offering, solo, to the board. I was - floored. I have been job hunting furiously for months - over a year - but it’s hard bc I am quite senior. How can I suck it up? I feel like I am going crazy just watching all this unfold.

Well, if she doesn't entertain an invitation to block some time to talk to you then talk to her boss.

[Anonymous]

Hold the job while looking for better options, why let an unreasonable boss get on your nerves enough to become unemployed and face the consequences. You can manage it.