Deadbeat family - What would you do?

[Anonymous]

It is sweltering hot and I have a distant relative that is pretty much useless. She refuses to work and lives off of public assistance. She has a 6 year old daughter and they need an air conditioner. It will not put me out much to spend some money and send her an AC but the principle of it is the issue for me. Do I make the 6 year old suffer because her mom is lazy and insists on handouts or do I help them out knowing full well the mom could get a job and help herself? There is no reasoning with her. I know she won't pay me back and will make excuses for not getting a job so I won't even bother to bring these things up. Should I help them? When I donate to charity there's no telling what the character of the recipient is or if they too are not interested in making a better life. It just makes me angry that she CHOOSES to live this way and her kids are paying the price.

[Anonymous]

I guess you could have a bigger heart and think of the little 6 year old girl who is suffering. She can't help that her mom is trash.

[Anonymous]

You can buy a window AC for 100 bucks. I would buy it, but take something of hers as collateral for paying back the loan. I'm sure she has a game system, a fancy cell phone, or a flat screen tv.

[Anonymous]

Buy it, please. I was that 6 yo once and the small things my aunts did to help made all the difference in the world to me.

[Anonymous]

Buy it, and expect nothing in return. No strings. No expectations.

It is hard to be that way, but if you can manage, it would be a wonderful thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Did they ask you to buy it for them? I can see feeling a little more put out if you were asked. Perhaps you could buy an inexpensive unit and think of it as something you're doing for the little girl rather than for her mother - sure, she'll benefit from it too, but might make you feel better about it to think about it being for the girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Buy it, please. I was that 6 yo once and the small things my aunts did to help made all the difference in the world to me.

Ditto. A 6 year old isn't a deadbeat. Make sure the AC won't be sold or traded for drugs.....

[Anonymous]

My viewpoint is that kids don't mind the heat as much as adults.

[Anonymous]

Buy them a fan....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buy it, please. I was that 6 yo once and the small things my aunts did to help made all the difference in the world to me.

Ditto. A 6 year old isn't a deadbeat. Make sure the AC won't be sold or traded for drugs.....

This would be my concern, too. I had a deadbeat uncle growing up, and my dad was always buying/giving him stuff. He and my mom used to fight about it because the items were almost always sold or traded for booze, and not even proportionally...ie: a large TV for a couple fifths of whisky.

[Anonymous]

Buy that poor child an air conditioner. And invite her to do some fun, kid-friendly activities with you while your at it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is sweltering hot and I have a distant relative that is pretty much useless. She refuses to work and lives off of public assistance. She has a 6 year old daughter and they need an air conditioner. It will not put me out much to spend some money and send her an AC but the principle of it is the issue for me. Do I make the 6 year old suffer because her mom is lazy and insists on handouts or do I help them out knowing full well the mom could get a job and help herself? There is no reasoning with her. I know she won't pay me back and will make excuses for not getting a job so I won't even bother to bring these things up. Should I help them? When I donate to charity there's no telling what the character of the recipient is or if they too are not interested in making a better life. It just makes me angry that she CHOOSES to live this way and her kids are paying the price.

Your attitude is worse than the deadbeat parent. You are willing to let a 6-yr old pay for her mother's refusal to work. Aren't you just too damn teriffic.

[Anonymous]

I would get them a fan. The vast majority of people in the world deal with very high temperatures without air conditioning, and it is also extremely bad for the environment.

[Anonymous]

Invite the 6 year old to come stay at your house during the heat wave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is sweltering hot and I have a distant relative that is pretty much useless. She refuses to work and lives off of public assistance. She has a 6 year old daughter and they need an air conditioner. It will not put me out much to spend some money and send her an AC but the principle of it is the issue for me. Do I make the 6 year old suffer because her mom is lazy and insists on handouts or do I help them out knowing full well the mom could get a job and help herself? There is no reasoning with her. I know she won't pay me back and will make excuses for not getting a job so I won't even bother to bring these things up. Should I help them? When I donate to charity there's no telling what the character of the recipient is or if they too are not interested in making a better life. It just makes me angry that she CHOOSES to live this way and her kids are paying the price.

Your attitude is worse than the deadbeat parent. You are willing to let a 6-yr old pay for her mother's refusal to work. Aren't you just too damn teriffic.

Um, it's the mother that's causing her child to pay. OP isn't obligated to do a thing for this child. People all over the world live without air conditioning.