Allowance and money for 6yo

[Anonymous]

My six year old daughter, after seeing this mentioned in several books, asked for an allowance in exchange for doing chores. She also got interested in a lemonade stand out something like that.

My own family growing up has always been strongly against putting money into family affairs - they should help each other out because we're a family, not for money. Especially since there's not much value they can add, since even spending the money is dependent on you driving them to the store.

I'm torn. I want to encourage anything she's excited about, and foster better understanding of money than I had growing up.... B but the arguments against are pretty strong.

What are the thoughts of people who have considered it do offer an allowance, especially for this age? How do you prevent it from turning into basically bargaining every chore or favor?

[Anonymous]

Allowance is stand alone. $1 per year of age, per week.

You have a lot of flexibility in what you gift to your kids versus what you charge allowance money for.

Chores are obligations. Failure to perform results in loss of privileges, not monetary fines.

Optional bonus pay for extra special work.

[Anonymous]

I don't think you have to give them allowance to teach how money works. Most education like that would be misleading anyway, because they learn that food and shelter and health care are free, and only luxuries cost money, and they mislearn that they can spend all their income on luxuries.

Just talk about how much stuff actually costs.

[Anonymous]

I give my 6 yo an allowance untie to chores. He has a save-give-spend container with some rules attached. For instance, he can only put money on his spend container if he puts money first on the give container. I think it is a good way to teach them the value of money.
However, I do not ask for chores in return because I agree that those should come from a sense of belonging and sharing responsibilities.

[Anonymous]

In our family allowance is to learn about money. Chores are totally separate. We start allowance in kindergarten at a penny a week. Then it goes up to a nickel a week after they understand five pennies equal a nickel. Then a dime a week to teach two nickels equal a dime, etc.

Allowance stops before they hit minimum wage, and by that time they are old enough to get a job. If we have an unusual chore or a big project, we might offer it for sale to the kids. But they can't count on that.

Everyone does chores as part of the family.

[Anonymous]

The interesting/good thing about a child having their own money, you can insist they spend their own $$ when you are in Target, etc. It’s funny how stingy they get when they have to pull $$ out of their own wallet. I think $24/ month seems a little high for a 6 year old.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the perspectives.

The thing is I already don't buy things they request at target (I also don't get out to target and such much with them), and some things I just don't want them owning regardless of cost (certain electronics, certain types of branded things, etc.).

For the OP who gives a penny a week, what is the point, if I may ask?

[Anonymous]

There’s a great book called the opposite of spoiled that I really like and sums up my philosophy pretty well. We also think of allowance as practice on spending. I of course by my kids things but sometimes I say no, I don’t have money for that but you can spend your allowance on it. They think about it differently and that’s the point. I reserve the right to veto any purchase and we don’t allow them to buy candy with it. We have plenty of candy around but practice just a piece or two a day.

Also, my son was being careless with an iPad recently and I explained to him how many weeks of allowance it would take to replace it and he was shocked.

My kids also really feel empowered to donate out of their own money. We encourage it but don’t require it but luckily my oldest is a great example and and when we do our year end giving she also contributes proudly. This will be the first year my son is has an allowance to participate so I’m interested to see how this goes

[Anonymous]

We started allowance quite young and they get $15 a week..... $2 go to spending in the rest goes to saving.... Like it actually goes to the bank twice a year.

Our kids save up their spending money for things that they want..... We still buy them things but it has cut down drastically on the whining and the target toy aisle. Before we go I tell them to bring their own money if they want to get something. Otherwise all we get are free looks. I'll take their picture with things that they want along with the price and they like to price shop on Amazon and other places to see if they can get it cheaper..... a lot of Times they determinant wasn't worth the money or forget about it after we leave the store.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the perspectives.

The thing is I already don't buy things they request at target (I also don't get out to target and such much with them), and some things I just don't want them owning regardless of cost (certain electronics, certain types of branded things, etc.).

For the OP who gives a penny a week, what is the point, if I may ask?

The point is to teach that one penny equals one and five pennies equal five, and five pennies equal one nickel and ten pennies equal a dime. The point is also to teach patience as they watch how many pennies they have grow. We don't keep allowance at a penny for years - more like three months or so - long enough to grasp the concept that ten pennies equal a dime even though it's one instead of ten and smaller a coin than a penny. To teach them to think about would they rather get one dime per week that equals ten pennies or five pennies each week? The pennies are more, and bigger, but the dime is worth more even though it's smaller.

[Anonymous]

I like the idea of three jars. One to spend now, one to save for something, and one to donate. This sets them up to understand budgeting. I live the idea of taking a picture of something they want.

[Anonymous]

When my kids learned how to count money, they got $1 per week for allowance (in change that they had to count out). That money was theirs, along with any birthday/Christmas money they were given. Chores were not specifically required to earn the allowance, but they were expected to do chores as a matter of course to help their family. The allowance was something we chose to do for them, but it wasn’t guaranteed and could be (occasionally was) suspended. Moreover, it meant that if we felt there was something they needed to pay for (You deliberately broke your sister’s toy, you need to replace it), they either had the money saved up that they had to turn over, or we garnished the allowance until the debt was paid. If they wanted to earn extra money, they could negotiate doing chores over and above normal expectations for extra money.

We generally provided them with some spending money, but expenses over and above that were up to them. So, for example, we might say we would give them $20 for souvenirs on a family vacation, but anything beyond that they’d have to use their money. We’d buy them clothes, but if they wanted something extravagant, they’d have to make up the difference between what we considered a reasonable budget and what a particular item cost. For the annual school book fair, we’d generally give them $20 for books, but if they wanted more, they had to cover 1/2 for everything over $20, and we’d provide the other 1/2, and miscellaneous posters and tchotchkes the bookfair sold, they could have whatever they wanted to pay for, but we wouldn’t contribute.

Having their own money they learned that they could spend it now on things they wanted a little, but then they might not have the money later for bigger, more expensive things they wanted a lot. They grew up to be relatively frugal.

[Anonymous]

$6/week isn't too much if you help them spend on things things like choosing what dessert to buy or a toy they want.

But whatever, you can adjust.

[Anonymous]

The way we do this is there are assigned chores that earn money. Small daily ones, 2/3x a week ones, a 1-2 that are once a week. Doing those earns the allowance.

There are also other small chores that they must do that do NOT earn allowance. These aren’t optional but they also don’t come with any expectation of working toward money. They are just standalone chores.

[Anonymous]

Agree with others -- don't link allowance to chores. Have chores, but you don't have to bribe for them. They are just part of their routine -- making beds, helping with dinner, setting table, etc., are really not different from brushing teeth, taking showers, and other basic responsibilities.

We do require that DC set aside a portion of each allowance for saving and investing. Not just saving up for a toy they want, but it goes in an actual savings account and then periodically amounts get transferred into a brokerage account. We want to build up the idea that you need to be saving and investing a portion of all income for the future. DC will get to decide how to use that savings account and eventually will fully take over the brokerage account. We've talked about using some of the money for college, for study abroad, or for down payment on a house.

I actually think DC is more enthusiastic about this aspect of their allowance Than the money that gets spent on treats and toys.